Go TeamC/A
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Title: Bad Timing
Author: Kelly22
Posted: 07-03-02
Rating: PG-13, tops. If I had the gift of smut, like certain members of the ST forum, believe me, I would be all about the NC-17. Hey, maybe if my real life gets a little more interesting then my fanfiction would heat up.
Category:
Content: C/A, teeny bit of B/A (it had to be done), B/S
Summary: This story is set a little after Cordy comes back from vacation with Groo, except in my AU world, there was no bad father-devouring-son prophecy and no babies growing up in hell dimensions. So people still like Wesley and I guess Holtz and Justine ran off to the mid-west together, because they certainly aren't rearing their ugly heads in MY story.
Spoilers: “Couplet” for Ats and I guess about mid-season 6 for Btvs
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes:
Thanks/Dedication:
Feedback:Do I want Feedback: You know I do.
Part 1: Can't Stand the HeatCordelia often was faced with situations that made her really stop and wonder how far off track her life had veered. When she had spotted Xander and Willow swapping spit and fallen on a rebar. When she had inherited visions from “The Powers that Be” by kissing a half-demon. When she had voluntarily gone all half-demony herself in order to continue helping people. But standing in the kitchen of the Hyperion on Friday night, Cordy was dumbstruck at how unexpected her life really was.
She was standing in the kitchen with pots and pans strewn everywhere, chopping vegetables. The steam from the pot on top of the oven wasn't doing pretty things to her hair (which was three weeks overdue for some highlights) and a glimpse at the door of the microwave oven told her that her face was more than a little shiny. Add that to the fact that she was bouncing a 7-month old baby on her hip and the picture was complete. Somewhere on the road to international superstardom, she had come to look a whole heck of a lot like a housewife.
Cordelia shook off the mutual feelings of disgust and pleasure that thought sent through her and tried to concentrate on what Fred was saying.
“It's not that I want to pry, it's just that you came back from vacation so early and Groo's nowhere to be seen and it's been two weeks and I just, oh come on, you've got to tell me what happened,” Fred whined, popping a piece of green pepper in her mouth.
“Fred, I told you, I just, you know, had an epiphany.”
“Ohhhhhh, like Angel did? After sex? So you did com-shuck the Groosalog!”
“I didn't say that.”
“So you didn't. You kept the potion?”
“I didn't say-dammit, Angel said he would be right back. This whole give Cordy a cooking lesson thing was HIS idea and he just disappears. ANGELLLL.”
“Hey sorry, I couldn't find his pacifier,” Angel said as he walked back into the kitchen.
“That's odd, seeing as there's at least twenty stashed all over the hotel,” Cordy said, passing the baby off to Fred and joining Angel at the stove.
“They do keep turning up in the strangest places,” Fred noted. “I mean, yesterday, I found one in Gunn's pants.”
Both Cordelia and Angel immediately whipped around to stare at the girl, Angel scowling while Cordy's eyebrows reached unprecedented heights.
Fred bit her lip. That had not come out right. “No, uh, laundry, I was doing laundry and some of Gunn's things were in there, and there was a pacifier jammed in a pocket. And I reached in and got it. So, um, I was technically IN Gunn's pants, um, but not in the sense that he was in them at the same time, and I think Connor and I are gonna go see what's happening in the other room.” With that, Fred fled.
Cordy and Angel both turned back to the stove, standing for several seconds in silence. They both glanced over at the other person and then quickly glanced away. Cordy heard a squeak and than realized it was her, trying to hold a laugh in. She looked over at Angel. He was silent and his lips looked clamped together. Than she noticed the shaking. She let out another squeak and then her laughter came spilling out, followed immediately by Angel's. They laughed until their stomachs' hurt. Cordelia slid onto the floor trying to catch her breath. Angel didn't need to breath so he made himself useful taking the pasta off the stove and putting it in a strainer.
“Oh, god, I can't breath. That was just so funny,” Cordy panted.
“I know. When she said that, all I could think.I mean, the idea of Gunn and Fred,” Angel shook his head and inspected Cordy's progress on the vegetables.
Cordy bit her lip and slowly stood up. Her sweet utterly clueless vampire. You had to love him. Oops, no shake that thought off Cordy Ever since the ballet, all the signs had been there-the idea of Gunn and Fred was one Angel was going to have to accept. Fred had been pretty tight lipped about what had happened at the ballet, but Cordy knew the signs of schmecking. She would have to remember to hit Fred up for details sometime soon. Girls were supposed to tell each other stuff like that. Of course its not like I've told her anything about what me and Angel were up to in the dressing room. Oh, geez Cordy, don't think about that now, not here, in the kitchen, the hot kitchen, with him standing right next to me. You know the rules-no thinking about my little epiphany when I am at work. Maybe she should tell Angel, so he wouldn't spaz in front of the rest of the group.
“Angel, the idea of Fred and Gunn together isn't such a bad idea, you know.”
“Cordy, what are you talking about,” Angel said without looking up. “Fred she's like a physicist and Gunn's, I mean, he's a street fighter from the hood.”
Cordy bit her lip to keep from laughing. Angel had said 'hood.' Was anything this man did not cute? Ahhh, stop! “So what, they come from different places. That's the basis for, like, some of the best love stories ever. People can fall in love with people who are nothing like them. Is this cause he's black,” Cordy asked, teasing.
Angel turned to her, horrified. “I'm not racist!” When he saw she was joking, he relaxed and leaned across her to stir the sauce. “Hello, I'm a bloodsucking vampire, it doesn't leave a lot of room to be judgmental.”
Cordelia smiled and tried not to think of how little sparks of electricity had shot across her when Angel's arm had brushed her. God, and he smelled so.mmmmm. Great, now I sound like one of those goddamn Furies. “Anyway, my POINT is that I think Fred and Gunn might have some crushy feelings and I just wanted you to be aware of that. SO you don't say anything stupid. Which you will anyway.”
“Hey,” Angel said, wounded.
“Kidding. Just kidding.” She had better change the subject. “So how did you know when to take the pasta off the burner?”
“Well, you need to wait until the noodle achieves a certain amount of malleability while still retaining a desired level of firmness.”
“Huh?”
“You throw it at the wall,” Fred said as she walked back into the kitchen with Connor. “Throw a piece of pasta at the wall and if it sticks, it's done.” She grabbed a bottle of juice for the baby and headed back to the television.
“Hmmm,” Cordy said as she reached to grab a noodle from the bowl. “Why do I like Fred's explanation so much better than yours?” She chucked a noodle at the wall behind Angel. It hit right near the clock and stuck. Then, five seconds later, it fell. Onto Angel's hair. Angel immediately started shaking his head violently, trying to get it off. Cordy simply buried her face in her hands and exploded in laughter.
“Cordy. Cordelia. Stop laughing. It wasn't that funny dammit,” Angel growled.
Part 2: Stay Out of the KitchenWould Cordy ever stop laughing, Angel wondered. Of course it was hard not to appreciate the sound, even if it was at his own expense. Cordelia laughing was hard not to like. When she just let her self go and threw everything she had into laughing, it was like being hit by a truck, but in a good way. It was a lot like when she gave that one smile, that real, deliciously huge smile that made you just stop and wonder if anything on earth could be more rewarding than making Cordelia smile.
“Cordy.” More laughter. “Cordelia.” What the hell was so damn funny about a noodle in his hair. This was getting a little ridiculous. And she really didn't appear to be stopping with the laughing anytime soon. He wished he could make her stop laughing. I wish I could grab her and push her against the refrigerator and smother those giggles with my mouth.. Angel shook his head violently from side to side to clear the image from his mind. These, well fantasies if he was being honest, they had been bothering him at the oddest times.for almost a month now. Ever since the ballet and Groo and Cordy's returning early from vacation. Don't go there Angel. Come on, this is why you suggested this cooking lesson in the first place. To keep your mind off less.wholesome things.
Cordelia was still laughing so Angel did the only thing he could think to do (besides the up-against-the-fridge action). He reached into the bowl of noodles and chucked a handful at her.
It was beautiful really. Several landed in her hair, one tangled around her ear. Three lucky strands now rested in the v-neck of her shirt. And that perfect, outraged wail of indignation. It was like music. And of course, the laughter had stopped.
One second her eyes were blank with shock. Then they narrowed, in that sexy, dangerous, Queen C way of hers and Angel gulped. Before he could blink, Cordy's two hands were grabbing for the bowl of pasta. She wouldn 't. I mean, that was her dinner. She wouldn't-
Warm, wet noodles were everywhere. On his shoes. On his clothes. Nestled in the perfectly gelled spikes of his hair. He stood silent, unmoving.
Cordelia's smile faded as she saw the expression on his face. Tossing the bowl of pasta had seemed like such a good idea. And he did look funny. But also, maybe just a little bit ANGRY. Now, Cordelia knew that Angel would never actually HURT her, but hundreds of years doing evil vampy things had taught him lots and lots about revenge. And there were just way too many weapons lying around the.
What, what had he just dumped in her hair? Cordelia ran a hand thru her hair and there was a rainfall of.cheese. While she had been in her haze, imagining all sorts of vengeful atrocities, Angel had dumped the thing of Parmesan cheese in her hair.
At that point, Cordy saw his laughing form leaning on the counter and she would have joined him, would have laughed the whole silly thing off and called it a draw. But then she realized that this wasn't a tiny generic can of Parmesan cheese. This was the gourmet stuff, the kind Wolfgang Puck had recommended, the kind SHE had bought. This, oh this wasn't to be taken lightly.
She smiled, making him think that they were even now, that the little food fight had ended before it really began. She shrugged her shoulders in what she hoped was an endearing “I-give-up” kind of way. She reached for her glass of Diet Coke. She raised her hand and took a sip. Then she tossed the contents in his face.
Angel realized he should have known better, realized that he shouldn't be surprised there was Diet Coke dripping down his forehead and into his eyes. His Cordelia would never let something end without getting off a parting shot. Okay so she's not “my Cordelia” but still, I mean, after three years, I shoulda known there would be some sort of counter-attack.
“Very funny Cordy. Say, is that a new shirt you're wearing?” Angel asked while grabbing a spoon and stirring the pot of spaghetti sauce.
“Yes actually, haven't figured out how I am going to pay for it b-.” Wait a second. He was up to something. Changing the subject, trying to look all innocent there stirring the sauce. The very red sauce. Sauce that would be very stainy if it got on a certain person's new shirt. “Angel, don't.” Angel had raised a spoonful of the sauce up and made like he was going to taste it. “Angel, I know what you are about to do, but don't even think-” .
It was too late of course. Cordelia stared down at the spattering of red across her shirt. As she thought about dry cleaning bills, she became enraged. She reached for the bowl of salad and started lobbing croutons at him, followed by some of the larger slices of tomatoes. When she ran out of ammunition, Angel stopped ducking and just flung two more spoonfuls of sauce.
Cordy frantically searched for something else to use as a weapon while trying unsuccessfully to evade the pasta sauce he kept hurling her way. At a loss, she grabbed the only thing nearby.a bottle of her Kraft Fat Free Italian Salad Dressing. She popped open the top and gripped the bottle firmly with two hands. Ready, Aim, Fire. And she hosed him down. Aww, poor baby didn't seem to like that much. And Italian dressing, that could sometimes taste awful garlicy. Cordy let a snort of laughter slip out. Angel growled. He stepped closer and grabbed her forearms, yanking her towards him. Oh dear God, it's like something out of a trashy romance novel.
“Cordelia, I've always secretly wanted to do this to you.” Oh sweet Jesus, he is going to kiss me. He shouldn't, we shouldn't, and if he doesn' t do it soon I'm going to have to do it for him. She closed her eyes. Her heart was racing. She took a deep breath.and smelled something sweet. Angel, he smelled like.blueberries. At that last second , warning alarms went off in her head, but it was too late. Before she could open her eyes, everything got very.gooey. She wiped at her eyes and face. It was pie. The pie she and Fred had pulled out of the oven over an hour ago. The pie she had helped make with her very own hands.the pie she had slaved over, dammit!
Angel stood back and looked at his handy work. Not all that much had stayed on her face and most of that was the whipped cream. Still, she did seem very, well, blue. Half of the pie seemed to have stuck to her right arm. And gobs of blue covered her shoes. It was funny, but not as funny as when it happened to people on television. Maybe cause the people on TV didn't have to face Cordelia's icy glare. Listen to the slow meticulous beating of her heart as she planned how she would retaliate. Angel realized the irony of the situation. He had once been a feared creature of the night, who terrorized helpless girls that looked like Cordy. He would have once made her cower in terror. Hell, he once had. And now, now the former “Scourge of Europe”, well he wasn't cowering, but it was pretty damn close. She reached for the long loaf of French bread and Angel ran
Part 3: Unexpected SurprisesBuffy, Dawn, and Willow stood in front of the door to the Hyperion waiting for Xander, who they had assigned to bring all the bags in from the car.
“Does anyone else feel a little weird about this,” Willow wondered. “I mean, I know that they invited us but-”
“No, actually they didn't,” Dawn interrupted while Buffy pretended to suddenly be very interested in looking at her feet. “Buffy invited herself and dragged us along. Oh wait, that would insinuate that she actually called Angel and said 'Hey I'm coming for a visit, hope it's cool.' Which she didn't.” Dawn hated to be a tattletale, but this was ridiculous.
Willow stared at her best friend in shock. “Buffy, is she serious? They don't even know we are coming?”
Buffy hated that Willow looked so appalled. It made her doubt the decision too. “Look, Will, Angel and I.I mean, he forgave me for sending him to hell, I'm pretty sure he won't be angry about appearing on his doorstep. Hello, I'm the only woman he's loved in 250 years, I'm pretty sure that gives me the right to pop in when I need to.”
“Wait, I thought we all came cause Deadboy needed you in LA for something?” Xander huffed, having finally managed to drag himself and the bags to the door. “What are we doing here then?
Buffy stared at the other three then lowered her head to avoid their confused glances. Quietly, and without looking up, she said, “I just need to know that some things don't change.”
Suddenly, everyone looked up as they heard screams coming from inside the Hyperion.
“Well there you go. See, hellmouth or not, things don't ever change,” Xander smirked.
Suddenly they heard a woman yell, “No, Angel, no, you're killing me.” With a crossbow that seemingly materialized out of nowhere in hand, Buffy kicked open the door and ran inside. For a minute the other three just stood there.
Willow wrinkled her nose and said, “Does anyone else ever wonder where she keeps the crossbow?” Dawn and Xander just shrugged and they all headed inside. They found Buffy literally frozen in place, staring at the scene before her.
“Okay, I admit, clearly, some things DO change,” Xander mumbled.***
Angel had sprinted out of the kitchen with Cordy and the menacing loaf of bread on his heels. With an uncharacteristically Xena-like yell, Cordelia jumped onto Angel's back. He continued to run while she tried to get in a few good hits with the bread (pulling his hair for good measure). Suddenly Angel's foot caught on the leg of Connor's bassinet and they both crashed to the ground. The fall would have stunned two lesser individuals, perhaps finally ending the battle. But not two champions.
By this point, Lorne and Gunn were standing on the stairs cracking up while Wes had emerged from his office shaking his head. Fred pointed at them, telling Connor how silly his Daddy was and then headed back to the kitchen to see just how much damage had been done
Knowing he had to act fast, Angel immediately flipped over so that Cordelia lay on the ground. Angel used one hand to hold both of her hands down over her head and with the free hand, began the worst torture known to man or beast. He started to tickle her. And she went nuts.
“No, Angel, no, you're killing me,” Cordy screamed, kicking her legs and then raising her hips to try and thrust him off of her.
The feel of her warm center pressing against him sent Angel into shock. The racing heartbeat, the heavy breathing, they were all too familiar.as was the slight scent of.arousal? Wait, it couldn't be, I mean, we're not possessed. His confusion made his tickling hand still and Cordy could feel the pressure holding her down lessen. She took advantage of his distraction by using one of the moves he taught her and flipping him over so she straddled him. She grabbed for the fallen loaf of French bread and raised it overhead, planning to whack him with it.
Right then the door flew open. Cordelia couldn't believe who it was. What the hell is Buffy doing here? In ran the slayer with her crossbow raised. Angel and Cordy openly gaped at her, the bread still frozen in Cordelia's hands and Angel staring from his position on the floor. For someone who had just burst through the door looking to do battle, Cordelia noted that Buffy looked a little “shocked” too. What the hell is going on here? As usual, Cordelia said the first thing that came to mind.
“Wow, Buffy, do you ever NOT make a dramatic entrance?”***
Buffy had come barreling through the door, instinct sending her in to slay the demons and save the innocent. But the only demon in front of her clearly had a soul and Cordy and her bread didn't seem all that innocent. At first glance she looked like she was bleeding and Buffy kept the crossbow raised until she noted the noodles in Angel's hair and the fact that a good part of Cordy was covered in.blue. She had busted in to save Angel and Cordelia from a food fight.
“Wow, Buffy, do you ever NOT make a dramatic entrance,” Cordelia said, as Xander, Willow, and Dawn walked in the door. Buffy heard Xander mumble something about things changing and tried to get her bearings. If people would just stop staring at her and be quiet than she was sure she could get a handle on her emotions. Of course, what were the chances of that happening? Slim to none when I'm dealing with Cordelia.
“Wow, it's all the scoobies. And Buffy junior. Hey Willow, no bad dying news this time right?” Cordy said, speaking like she wasn't covered in food atop Buffy's ex-boyfriend.
“Nope. And you're not dressed like Princess Leia this time,” Willow commented, trying desperately for the air of nonchalance that Cordelia exhibited so flawlessly.
“Yeah, I gave up my crown when the slaves revolted. Oh my gosh, Buffy, you cut your hair. I LOVE it. Have you thought about adding some lowlights? That should give you some added depth-volume is so important when your hair is shorter,” Cordy said.
“Actually, a stylist did recommend that but I wasn't sure,” Buffy answered. Wait, how did this turn into a discussion on my hair? Hair that Cordelia actually said looked nice. And why is she still lying on top of Angel. And why does he still have that silly nervous grin on his face.
Wesley walked forward, looking a lot more scruffy and, well, sexy. What was it Willow said he was calling himself these days? A rogue demon hunter? Well it worked on him. “Cordy, you might want to let Angel get up and greet his guests,” Wesley said evenly. He turned to the group from Sunnydale, saying “Well, don't just stand there. Shut the door and come in.”
Cordelia leaned down and whispered in Angel's ear “I will get you for the pie thing later. Know that, and fear me.” Then she slid off him and stood, walking over to Xander. “So, I hear someone's marrying an ex-vengeance demon and forgot to invite me, the woman who brought you two kids together.”
Xander laughed nervously. For all the blue and purple stains and the messy hair and the disturbing smell of...Parmesan cheese, Cordy still looked regal and confident and somehow, still, intimidatingly beautiful. “Uh, must have gotten lost in the mail,” he offered.
Cordy laughed. “I'm just kidding you jackass. Seriously, congratulations.” Angel walked over to Cordy and Xander.
“Well, since he didn't invite us, that means we don't have to send presents, right Cordy,” Angel said. He brushed more of the cheese out of her hair and used his thumb to wipe a smudge of blueberry off of her cheek. I'm just doing this to mess with Xander's head, he thought. Not cause I'm really trying to stake a claim or anything. And not cause I just wanted to keep touching her. Nope, not cause of that.
Buffy stared around the room. There was a black man and a green man coming down the stairs. Neither of them seemed at all perturbed by the unnatural amount of touching between Angel and Cordelia. And now they were talking about the wedding. She still needed answers and she was going to get them. “Would someone please tell me what happened here?” Gunn, Lorne, and Fred all raised their eyebrows. It was very odd to hear that tone of voice from anyone besides Cordelia.
Angel tried to focus on Buffy and the unexpected appearance of the Scooby Gang. Helping Cordy clean up could wait for later. That has potential to be very fun. Okay, images of licking blueberry pie off of Cordy is so not something I need to be thinking about right now.
“Hey Buffy,” Angel said, shuffling over to the slayer (and telling himself not to look back at Cordy). “This is a surprise, uh, a nice surprise.”
“Angel,” Buffy said, going to hug him and wondering why it felt so very awkward. Maybe that's because he's covered in noodles. And he smells like salad dressing. “Care to explain?”
Angel abruptly turned and pointed at the bassinet. “Uh, I tripped,” he said sheepishly.
Willow, Dawn, and Buffy all had those confused, O-o-o-o-kay looks on their faces.
“But how did Cordy end up on top of you?” Willow asked.
Angel hurriedly said, “Oh, she was on top of me before I trip-uh, that's not important.”
Cordy looked over from where she was trying to calculate how much weight Xander had gained. Angel had a painful expression on his face. He glanced quickly over to her with pleading eyes. It really was amazing how many times she had to rescue her champion. Cordelia motioned for the gang from AI to come closer. “So I guess introductions are in order. You four remember Wesley I'm sur-”.
“Wait,” Dawn interrupted. She turned back to Angel. “You tripped over that?” she asked, pointing to the bassinet. “But, um, that's for a baby. Right?” As if on cue, sounds of a baby crying appeared out of nowhere. Angel gulped.
“Yeah, like Cordy said, introductions are definitely in order,” he said.***
There was a brief moment of silence before Xander's mouth took over. “That was a baby.” He pointed towards a kitchen. “Did you guys know that you had a baby back there?” Gunn snorted, Cordelia rolled her eyes, and everyone else frowned at his obtuseness. Fred came out of the kitchen and walked over to everybody else, said baby in her arms. “See,” Xander said, still pointing, “that is definitely a baby.”
“Good to know you still have an appalling talent for stating the obvious Xander,” Cordy said, trying once again to get the rest of the cheese out of her hair. Fred walked up to where Angel and Cordy stood, saw Cordy's hands were occupied and handed the baby to Angel.
“I think someone's a little out of sorts,” she noted. Angel bounced in place, trying to sooth the fussy baby while Buffy and her friends stood staring, mouths agape. After a minute, Fred noticed the uncomfortable silence and realized there were several strangers in the room, all staring at her with their mouths agape. “Hey, I didn't know we had visitors. Hi y' all, I'm Fred.”
The baby was screaming now and started reaching out his hands toward Cordy. Without saying a word, Angel and Cordy turned to each other and passed the baby off, in that way that parents do. This did not go unnoticed by the newcomers.
Their shock didn't go unnoticed by Cordy either, but she had a cranky baby and shoes full of pie to take care of first. “Angel, you handle the introductions, I'm going to go upstairs, get Connor settled, and see if I can do anything about the fact that I seem to be wearing most of dinner.” With that, Queen C excused herself and ascended the stairs, with a bearing that could only be described as royal, despite the noodle clinging to her butt and the baby gnawing on her hair.
Part 4: Who's Your DaddyCordelia promises me she'll stick with me until I shansu and then she goes and leaves me to the wolves. She and I need to sit down sometime soon and discuss her understanding of the word loyalty. Angel openly acknowledged he had never dreaded a conversation this much in his life. Better just get it over with.
“So, introductions, lets do that. You guys know Wesley and then there's Gunn and Fred and Lorne, who, you may have guessed, is a demon, but, um, the good kind, you know, like me. You guys, this is Buffy, her sister Dawn, and her friends Willow and Xander.”
“Nice to see you all again,” Wesley said politely. “I've been looking forward to meeting Dawn for quite some time now. From what Giles told me, your role as the key sounds fascinating. I'd love to discuss-”
“Hate to interrupt you there, but I have to ask, what's the deal with the baby? I mean, you think a girl who got around as much as Cordelia did in high school would have become like a birth control super genius,” Xander said in shock.
Gunn stepped forward and probably would have taken Xander out if Fred hadn't laid a hand on his harm to stop him. Wesley heard Angel growl and hurried to smooth things over. He got out, “Well actually,” before he was interrupted again, this time by Dawn.
“Geez Xander, it's 2002, unwed mothers are a staple of society. I wrote a paper about them for sociology last month. Did you know that the increase of unwed mothers is merely a logical consequence of premarital sex? And that the true effect of raising children without strong paternal influences is not yet determined?” Dawn stopped when she noticed everyone in the room staring at her. “Okay, so by wrote the paper I mean I copied a bunch of stuff I found on the Internet.”
Fred couldn't keep silent any longer. There were some serious misconceptions floating around the room and she would do her best to clear them up. “Well, Cordy's not an unwed mother. I mean, she is unwed. Not that she won't get married one day. I mean, who's to say really. She's still young. What I meant is that Cordy's not a mother-not in the true sense of the word, although I suppose that it does take a village and she is the closest thing Connor's got and now everyone's staring at me so I'll stop talking now.”
While everyone stared at Fred and tried to make sense of her bizarre monologue, Angel wondered why what she said made him.angry. Every time we have to clear up what Cordy's role is, it annoys me. He didn't like hearing Cordy say stuff like “Oh, he's not mine. I wish!” And she'd been having to say it more and more lately. To people who thought she was Connor 's mother, people that thought she and Angel were together.
“Look,” Buffy said loudly. “Is Cordelia that baby's mother or not, I just want a straight answer.”
“Actually, lambkin,” Lorne said, finally stepping into the spotlight, “that' s not really the question you should be asking. I think what you really want to know is-”
“Where's Daddy?” a freshly changed Cordy said as she came down the stairs with a freshly changed Connor in her arms. “Where's daddy,” she cooed again. When she came to the bottom step Connor caught sight of his dada and raised his arm, gurgling incoherently. “There he is! Good boy. Your so smart!” Cordy looked up proudly and realized that she was getting more than one odd look. “What's everyone looking at? You all look like..Angel, didn' t you explain-no of course you didn't. Well clearly, if I want anything done right I have to do it myself.***
Twenty minutes later, Buffy found herself slightly calmer. Cordelia had made good on her promise to clear everything up. She still had that up front, no holds barred way about her. That was still the same. Her hair and clothes however, were not. The haircut was still trendy but it seemed like it was short merely to keep it out of her way. And while Cordelia's jeans were those fun potassium blasted boot-cut kind that looked great with her black high heeled boots and her v-neck white tee-shirt set off her fabulous tan, it was still Cordelia Chase in JEANS AND A TEE-SHIRT. Weirder though, was that it worked on her. She looked strong and comfortable.and capable. She had just simultaneously explained the past year and a half in the life of Angel Investigations, ordered pizza for the entire group, gotten everyone a drink, answered the phone three times, and shouted out wedding menu and location ideas to Xander-all while bouncing a baby on her hip. It was all a little much to take in. So much for coming to LA to see how LITTLE things had changed. There was Angel of course. He had quietly sat down like the rest of them while Cordelia took over. He looked as he always had. Those dark good looks and those wide shoulders still sent small shivers through her. His dark brown eyes still seemed to see so much. At the same time, he didn't look THE SAME. There were small differences. The half-smile on his face didn't seem as tense or awkward as it once had. He sat differently, more at ease, and she noticed him make the occasional comment under his breath to the man who sat next to him.Gunn she thought his name was. And there was a warmth in his eyes as he watched the whirlwind that was Cordelia. Why was that? Oh duh, cause she's holding Connor. His son. God, Angel has a son.
As Cordy finished the story and people starting arguing about the best pizza toppings, Angel wondered to himself why he hadn't told Buffy about Darla and Connor before. Why it was that his first urge upon seeing life he helped create hadn't been to call Buffy and tell her about it? And why wasn't this nicer, having her pop in like this? Seeing her, that should be a good thing, right? She's still beautiful, still an uncommon mix of strength and fragility. But that feeling that used to come whenever he looked at her, that wasn't there now. Years ago, in Sunnydale, Buffy had been the embodiment of everything he wasn't supposed to have. He always had felt that overpowering sense of WANT when he saw her, like he was constantly reaching for something that dangled just inches away from his grasp. He would see her and always want to be closer; it never seemed as if he could get close enough. It wasn't like that now.
He looked at Cordy as she let Connor grab on to her index finger while she kidded to Willow about her sexier new look. It wasn't like that with Cordy either. He never got that yearning to be closer. He HAD yearnings for Cordy, lots and lots of yearnings, but not like that. He never felt like Cordy was just out of his grasp. I mean, certain things with Cordy are out of my grasp RIGHT NOW, but that could change and even if it doesn't, she 's still there, reachable. But Cordelia never left him wanting more. She would roll those eyes of hers at him and he felt like he couldn't possibly be any closer to a human being. Over the years, Cordy's walls, when it came to him at least, had come down. Her openness, her willingness to expose that vulnerability to him, was the greatest act of trust, of faith, he had ever witnessed.
Cordelia, despite the fact that she looked totally into a mock fight with Wes and Xander about prom, was very aware of the subtle tension that floated around the room. You don't need to be a Seer to figure out the tension is coming from Broody and Blondie. Arhhh. Already, Angel seemed quieter.the descent into a full-on Buffy Brood-fest had begun. Cordelia nodded at some comment Wes made about how she had thrown herself at him while she actively decided that Buffy and Angel weren't going to be something she could ignore, something she could hope would just go away. It would never go away. Angel would always love her. Anyone else-even amusing, loyal and incredibly stylish seers-anyone else would just be a substitute. Okay, so I can accept that clearly I don't play a part in the Angel and Buffy Story. I just need to put away these icky lovey feelings I've been having. Did I just say lovey? I mean lusty, it's purely a physical thing. It's not like I love Angel. I don't. My epiphany, that was just about WANTING him.. He just makes me horny, it's not like he makes me feel safe.or important.or.happy. Cordelia figured everyone had had just about enough of those looks the star-crossed lovers kept shooting each other, and even though it killed some small part of her to do it, she was clearly going to have to give the two a hand. Oh, yeah, just call me Cupid.
“So, the pizza won't be here for a little while. Fred, why don't you show Xander and Willow and Dawn to some rooms so they can get their stuff put away. Gunn and Wesley, I know how much you want to come help me clean up the kitchen. And Angel,” Cordy said, turning toward him and handing him the baby, “I bet Buffy would love to see the gardens.” And she walked into the kitchen; not waiting for any particular response, confident as always that her wishes would be obeyed.***
The night air was cool and comforting. At Cordy's suggestion (if it could be called that) Buffy and Angel and Connor had come outside to the garden. Fred had spent a great deal of time out there and the hard work had paid off. Even in the moonlight, it was fragrant and beautiful. For a minute, neither of them made any effort to talk.
“I guess you have lots of questions,” Angel ventured. He didn't turn to look at her, instead keeping his eyes on his son, who was sucking greedily on a pacifier.
Buffy didn't look at him either. For the second time today she was finding her shoes very intriguing. “Not really. Cordelia, she pretty much covered everything. I guess, it's just that-”
“You're shocked. You have every right to be.”
“Well, yes, cause Darla not staying dead and you having this big hotel and a real company and enemies that I haven't helped you fight and then you and Darla with the sex and you having this big epiphany and then some vampire hunter comes with his Van Helsing action and you're doing the single dad thing and well, yeah, it is slightly shocking. Especially-”.
“Especially finding out all that stuff all at once,” Angel said, nodding his head.
“I was going to say, especially the part where Cordelia's hair is short.and BLOND.”
Connor seemed to think Cordelia's name was license to start babbling and some of the tension was relieved as he mumbled in his own little language and grabbed at Angel's nose.
“He's cute,” Buffy offered. Angel smiled at that. Buffy didn't really know how she felt about the baby. She wasn't overwhelmed with the need to hold him and she wasn't telling herself that the baby should have been hers. It' s not like she resented the baby, she was just disconcerted by it. Cause it was disconcerting when your ex-boyfriend who couldn't go out in the sun and liked to drink blood was brushing kisses on a baby dressed in a onesie with a giant yellow duck on it. “He kinda looks like you.” Angel smiled even more at that. “He doesn't, however, seem to have inherited your sense of style. Where's the black outfit with the matching black booties?”
Angel was glad Buffy seemed okay enough to joke about the baby. “Cordelia says no leather until he turns one-although between you and me, I've already had a jacket ordered from Baby Gap.” Buffy laughed and finally felt comfortable enough to reach out her hand and brush her fingertips over Connor's forehead. “And as for the ducks, I'll have you know that Cordy says he's supposed to wear bright colors, because he's a summer.” Angel noted that Buffy's smile seemed to shrink and she pulled her hand back from the baby. “I'm an autumn,” he said, trying to bring back the lighthearted mood. “At least that's what Cordy says.”
“Cordy sure seems to say a lot of stuff.”
Buffy looked like she wanted to say more and the look made Angel think he probably didn't want to hear it. He knew the two girls had never been the best of friends, but he really didn't want to hear Buffy talk about Cordelia. He tried to change the subject. “Not that you need a reason or anything, but I've been wondering why you're here. Why now?”
Buffy seemed to tense up but her voice was even when she responded. “There WAS no particular reason. I wanted to see a familiar face. I wanted to see your face. I missed you, you know. I might even have missed Cordelia-who, by the way, is so not a familiar face right now.”
Angel cringed inside. So the whole subject change thing was clearly not going to happen. Isn't it just a little odd that she's not bothered by the fact that I am holding a child who by all rights shouldn't exist and yet she clearly has problems with just the idea of Cordelia.
“I mean, her whole Soccer-mom act, that's new.”
Angel clenched his teeth and tried to sound as if the comment hadn't bothered him. “It's not an act Buffy. She's taken on a lot of responsibility. She's made a lot of sacrifices that she shouldn't have had to make. Cordy, she's-”
“And when exactly, did she become Cordy?”
Angel knew he wasn't imagining the bite in Buffy's tone but he didn't know how to respond to it. “Well, it's been three years.”
“Sorry, it's just a little hard to imagine her all nurturing. I mean, I can totally picture her wigging out over getting baby drool on her clothes.”
“Oh she's fine with the baby drool. Now demon slime, she still has issues with that.”
“So she whines a lot, does she?” Buffy was really looking for something bad about Cordelia. Actually, she was looking for Angel to say something bad about her.
“Oh no, she just quietly puts her dry cleaning bills on the company credit card.” Angel didn't know where this conversation was going but he didn't like it. If Buffy thought he was going to join her in this weird need to criticize his best friend, she was wrong.
Luckily, before Buffy could say anything else, Willow popped her head out the door and announced that the pizza was there.
Part 5: Wait for the Midnight HourIt was a little after midnight Angel noted. It was a very sad day when a vampire was exhausted before the night had really started. But most vampires don’t have to deal with teething babies and houseguests. Connor wouldn’t go down, which was understandable cause hey, teething, that had to hurt. Angel had tried all the suggestions in the baby book and so far had only seemed to make Connor crankier. Angel was actually feeling a little cranky himself.
Dinner hadn’t exactly been fun. It was exactly like one of those scenes from a movie, where everyone is uncomfortable and everyone knows that everyone else is uncomfortable and there is nothing they can do about it. Buffy had been quiet and Angel didn’t know if that was shock or what. Wes harassed poor Dawn with questions about her origin until he finally realized he was pissing her off—he spent the rest of the meal quietly whispering to Fred and making notes on a paper napkin. Angel thought Gunn might have been a little upset at the sudden Wes and Fred chumminess but Gunn apparently didn’t notice. Probably since he had been too busy hating Xander. Xander and Cordy had bickered for most of the meal, and it was hard to tell if they were kidding or not. Twice Angel had to kick Gunn under the table to keep him from lunging at Xander (once because he asked Cordy if her breasts were real cause he “wasn’t sure they had felt real that time in the closet”, and again when Gunn caught Xander looking at the aforementioned breasts). In between bouts with Xander, Cordelia and Willow made awkward small talk.
Angel didn’t really know what to think. He knew that Cordy was always a little outside of the group, but he hadn’t been aware of the whole weird dynamic. When he was in Sunnydale he was too focused on Buffy to pay much attention to Scooby interaction and in LA there was pretty much a silent agreement to forgo discussions of time spent on the Hellmouth. It was just a little sad, that these were her closest friends from high school. These were the people she kept pictures of on her refrigerator. She had to know that there were no pictures of her stuck to Buffy’s fridge with a magnet shaped like a giant pair of lips. Angel frowned at that. Cordy deserved better.
“Special delivery for Mister Fussy Vampire Spawn,” Cordelia said as she opened the door and walked in. She didn’t bother to knock and once again, Angel was more pleased by that than annoyed. “Let’s see I’ve got some yummy pacifiers, straight out of the freezer and…oh some ice chips and if that doesn’t work…um…I’ll sing “Somewhere out there” until he realizes that sleep is the only escape.” Cordelia shrugged and hopped on the bed next to Angel. She was silent for a moment, but both parties knew that couldn’t last long. “So why were you frowning when I came in?”
“Could it have anything to do with the fact that my child is in pain and I can’t help and all I want to do is lie down and sleep for the next…ever?”
“First of all, you are talking more and more like me everyday and I have to tell you, I am very flattered. Second, you could have been frowning about all that stuff but you weren’t.”
“You don’t look so perky yourself right now,” Angel commented.
“They don’t like me,” Cordelia responded with a shrug of her shoulders. “And I would have once said it didn’t bother me even though it did bother me, even then. And it doesn’t bother me A LOT now, but it does bother me.”
“Cordy, of course they like you.” Cordy gave him that look; the “are you crazy” look and Angel realized this was the wrong tactic to take. He knew, after the incident with Angelus, that Cordelia preferred honesty to politeness. “Okay, so they aren’t your biggest fans. But who cares?”
“I just told you. I care.”
“Why? I mean, you have friends, friends who adore you and would do anything for you. How Buffy and her friends feel about you shouldn’t be so important.”
Cordelia sighed. He doesn’t understand. “Angel, I totally agree with you, IN THEORY. But the Scoobies, they are important. I mean, hello, we wouldn’t be together today if it weren’t for them.” Oh shit, please don’t let that sound like I meant we were together together. “Besides that, their opinions do matter. You know that. Unless you’re trying to tell me you don’t care what Buffy thinks.” Angel didn’t disagree right away and Cordy was about to continue when he finally spoke.
“You don’t need to try and impress them. If they can’t see all the wonderful things I see when I look at you, then….”
“Then… what?” Cordy said. Did he really just say that? What wonderful things does he see? How come he never tells me the nice stuff? “Then…you’ll beat them all up?” she asked with a smirk.
“Well, I won’t beat all of them up. How about we just let Gunn have a go at Xander?” The baby was quieter now and Angel didn’t think it was wrong to attribute a little of that to Cordelia’s presence. That’s what she did, to both men—she swept in and started making them feel better without them even noticing. “Connor’s settling down now.”
“Not for long. I give it two or three hours before he’s up howling again. You’d think his father was a werewolf.” Cordelia caught Angel’s eye and made a face. “Okay, I just got the grossest mental picture of Darla with Oz.” She shook off the icky-ness while Angel put Connor down in his crib. It didn’t matter what he was doing, anytime that man moved he was sexy. How someone so big and strong could move so quietly was beyond her. Ooops, Danger Will Robinson! Shake off those kinds of thoughts. Angel sat down again on the bed and the two found themselves lying on their sides facing each other.
It was odd the difference one tiny baby could make. Without Connor’s presence in the bed everything seemed different, scarier. Cordy bit her lip to hold herself back from doing what she really wanted to do cause what she really wanted to do involved lunging at Angel and no good could come of that. She had learned to take rejection from directors, she had learned to take rejection from the stupid Scoobies, but she’d be damned if she got rejected by her best friend. And the only way to avoid that was to avoid offering him certain things to reject. You so need to get out of here Cordy.
“I should be getting home.” She looked at Angel, who only gave a slight nod. “It’s getting late and knowing Buffy there will be some sort of apocalypse tomorrow and if the world’s going to end, I definitely want my beauty sleep.” Angel still didn’t talk. He gave a half-smile and just kept staring at her with those eyes of his. She wondered what he saw.
Cordy looked down and then back at Angel. “Yeah,” she said softly, “so I should…go.” Angel didn’t speak or move. Say something damn it! Say “okay see you later” or “don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out” or grab me and say “I’m not letting you leave this bedroom until I’ve found erogenous zones you didn’t even know you had.” Angel didn’t of course say any of those things and Cordelia realized she would have to get up. She let out a soft sigh that she didn’t realize he heard and had moved maybe half an inch when a hand on her thigh stilled her.
“Stay.” He didn’t growl it or beg it—he wasn’t even really asking it, he just said it, like it was a fact. Cordy’s eyes widened involuntarily and that must have scared him a little because he removed the hand from her thigh (No, you can keep that there she thought) and he said, “I, I mean you should stay. For Connor.”
“Connor’s asleep,” Cordelia said, but she had a tiny smile on her face that made Angel confident. The hand that had been on her thigh moved to her shoulders. He began rubbing and kneading the tension out.
“Sure he’s asleep now. But you yourself said that wouldn’t last long. How can you abandon us now?”
“I…,” Cordy trailed off. She couldn’t talk, she could barely breath. Angel knew just where to touch. Oh Jesus! “Fine, I’m staying. You don’t have to bribe me with backrubs,” she said, more harshly than intended. Well, one of us has to be sensible. Cordelia turned over onto her other side, so that Angel now faced her back. He didn’t move, but all of the sudden Cordelia swore that she heard another soft disappointed little sigh, and this time it hadn’t come from her. In that moment Cordelia didn’t know what to do. She didn’t have a clue what was going on here. It almost seems like…he likes me. No, that can’t be. Besides, even if he does sorta like me, it’s not like love, it’s not like how he feels about Buffy. Which so makes anything between us just so completely doomed. Cause ultimately, it would be just like Xander, where I am constantly reminded that I run a far second to the Slayer.
She didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she didn’t know what he was wanting to happen and she was worried they were playing with fire and she really didn’t want to be the one that got burned. She shut her eyes tightly and heard another little sigh. With that sound, Cordelia decided that she was sick of being the smart one. If Angel didn’t have to be sensible, than why should she? She didn’t do anything crazy like rip off her clothes and jump his creature of the night ass. Nope, she wasn’t going to be the smart one but that didn’t mean she was the crazy one either. Instead, she just reached behind her, grabbed Angel’s hand, pulled his arm down over her, and yanked his body closer. Ha! I’m being spooned by Angel and it’s probably a horrible idea but I’m not going to think about the stupid consequences, cause I’ve had a really hard day and dammit, I deserve this. Angel gave her a little squeeze and let out another sigh, but it was different than the other two—it sounded content. And Cordelia, glad to know that she was neither smart nor crazy but rather a combination of them both, fell asleep.