Go TeamC/A
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Part 6 Would this night never ever end? Cordelia closed her eyes and breathed out heavily, feeling the weight of the last two weeks settle about her shoulders and pull her further down into her body. She felt so alone, and so bone tired. Her big choices lately were to either celebrate each anniversary wearing a velour Starfleet uniform or to be sacrificed as a fake virgin. And that about summed up her nasty, no good very bad life.
She sighed, watching Fred tuck into the huge plate of tacos with gusto. How could anyone eat like a long-distance trucker and still have the body of a child from a Sally Struthers country? Fred looked continuously like her picture should be above the caption, ‘You can feed this child for just seventeen cents a day,’ but Cordy had seen her pack it away on an ongoing basis, and never put on a pound. Life was funny that way.
Life was funny in many many ways, none of which Cordy saw any evidence of tonight. She sat, tight-lipped, while Gunn and Wesley roared over the sacrificial virgin incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God knew she thought it was a complete stitch. She looked down, trying to smile, as Gunn retold the story, again, for Lorne’s benefit.
“So she’s just layin’ there, all mouth, lippin’ off like the guy is getting ready to hand her flowers and not slice and dice her little body, when she announces, hey, I’m not a virgin!” Gunn laughed again, throwing his head back. Wesley chuckled beside him, and Lorne smiled absently down at his own plate. Fred stopped eating and looked at Cordy sympathetically. Cordelia looked at Gunn and nodded.
“I did. I just threw what was left of my dignity right out there. Seems to have worked…I mean, no slice and dice to be seen…”
“Well yeah…Angel and me show up to save the day for Klingons everywhere…” And Gunn laughed again. Cordelia felt a wave of tiredness begin to creep over her body. She was so tired of this. She drifted off, trying to ignore the chuckles of the group as they lounged around the table at the small Mexican restaurant. She looked down at her untouched plate, pushing rice around as if it would, like tea leaves, form some kind of mystical guidance message that she could use to jump her life forward to a better place. She didn’t notice Angel, who had been silently watching, lean forward and clap Gunn on the back, laughing loudly.
He threw a camaraderie arm around Gunn’s solid shoulders and grinned, leaning over to whisper quietly, “laugh about that story again and I’ll bleed your body dry before the sound leaves your throat.” Gunn sat straight up, eyes wide, and Angel grinned a dorky grin while nodding his head slightly towards Cordelia. Gunn looked past Angel at Cordy, and a dull flush spread over his face as he realized how bad Cordelia was feeling.
“Hey, Cordy…” She looked up at him, wary. “Sorry about that…..you….that was a crappy thing to happen to anybody. You…” He grinned, but without humor. “You were handling yourself fine. You’re a tough cookie.” Cordelia looked at him, unblinking. Gunn shifted a bit nervously. “What?”
“Just waiting.”
“Uh. For what?”
“The other shoe. C’mon, Gunn, the joke. I’m a tough cookie…..who’s, oh, bittersweet. I used to be pure as the driven snow. but I drifted…c’mon….hit me with the funny.” Gunn stared at her, misery beginning to show in his eyes. “Ohhh…maybe it would be funnier if Wes gave you the Klingon word for snow.” Her voice began to rise. “Because god knows I haven’t had enough Star Trek action to get me through the day.” Angel started to say something and she threw him a dirty look. “Don’t even start with me. I’ve been hearing it from you for two weeks now. I think ‘stupid’ is the your favorite word for me, with ‘dumb’ and my personal favorite, ‘spacy’ coming in a close second and third. Because, it’s all about how stupid I am.” She rose up, unaware that other diners had stopped eating and were listening in.
“And I’m even more stupid than that because I’ve been sitting here, listening to this crap like I had no choice. Ya know the really crappy thing? This wouldn’t even be a huge jokefest if they had asked Wesley if HE was a virgin. Everyone would only be hootin’ and hollerin’ if Wesley WAS a virgin. What the fuck is that about? My lovelife, or lack of…” she snorted with disgust, “…is nothing but ammo for the humor to fly, but if I was a man…boy, would this story be different.”
“Amen, sister!” Someone called out from across the small restaurant.
“You bet!” Cordy was on a roll, and shook Angel’s hand off as he tried to pull her back down. “Stop that. What’s the matter? Think I might be EMBARRASSED? Think I may do something…oh….STUPID?” She drew in a deep breath. “I can’t take this anymore! I can’t do this! I’m done! I don’t care if I get sacrificed to appease the fashion police at US magazine. I don’t care if scary demons tie me to a slab and use me for a dinner plate. Do you hear me? I don’t care! Wes, hope you love this face, because you’re stuck with it for 50 more years. Know why? Because I don’t care!” She shrieked out the last on a hysterical note and smacked her chair away before stumbling out through the restaurant into the inky night.
Everyone sat at the table, frozen. Lorne sighed and leaned back, not saying a word. Wesley looked down at his plate, and Gunn hung his head and shook it slightly. “Man. Just beat me with a brick now, ‘cause I don’t think I could feel worse.” He looked up. “Sorry, Wes. I don’t…..I didn’t mean…”
Wes nodded, tiredly. “No, it’s ok. Well, no it’s not, but the thing is…you’re fine.”
Fred looked over at Wes and Gunn, her face wreathed in sadness. “I’m a bad friend. I should be there more for her, and I’ve been….just….not a friend.” She looked down at her plate. “I suck.” And she lifted another taco to her mouth, munching as she looked off into space, depressed.
Angel watched them all silently and rose up. “I’ll get her home. She’s….having a bad time with all this. Mainly…” He tossed money on the table and grabbed up his coat. “Mainly because she needs her friends. And..” He laughed, a short, angry laugh. “Her friends aren’t there.” Everyone looked up at him, guilt on their faces, and Angel tugged his coat on. “And I’m supposed to be there for her. And I haven’t been, either.”
Lorne spoke up, his voice low. “You can fix that, Angel. Go be there now.” Angel looked at Lorne, and silent communication passed between them as Angel nodded and moved towards the door.
Gunn called out after him, “Angel. Yo. How’re we supposed to get home?”
“Get a cab.” Angel tossed over his shoulder. “Wes can translate if the driver’s an alien.” And he was gone out the door.
He caught up with her two blocks later, trudging down the sidewalk, her head down. Angel gripped her arm and pulled her around to face him and she looked up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes.
“Ok.” Her voice was low. “How bad was that?”
Angel looked of into the night, thinking a bit. “Oh, not too bad. Wesley is getting them all home. Gunn is a quivering mass of sorry goo. Lorne’s having a drink as soon as he hits home. And Fred...” he paused, grinning. “Well, this has hugely affected her appetite. She was only able to eat two more tacos after you left.”
Cordelia sniffed and pressed her face into Angel’s chest, sighing as his arms came around her solidly. “They hate me now. They used to like me, and just think I was ditzy. Now they hate me.”
“No, they don’t.” Angel tucked her under his chin. “They feel bad. We all feel bad. I’m as sorry as they are.” He stroked her back softly, staring over her head into the inky night. “Cordy…we’re sorry. All of us. No one was laughing because you’re not a virgin….” She pulled back a little and looked up at him. “C’mon Cordy, I think that ship sailed a while back. No big thing. It’s just you…laying there, all tied up…trying to talk your way out of being a sacrifice. Damn.” He shuddered a bit. “I think back on that, and don’t know whether to laugh or cry about it. Your friends…” He sounded ‘friends’ out distinctly, “..are in the same boat. Coulda lost you. I think they’re choosing to laugh.”
“Yeah. I know.” Cordy’s voice was muffled. “I just….” She sighed. “I just feel so….”
“Don’t say stupid.” Angel ground out. “You’re not. Not at all. I think I am.”
“Why do you think you’re stupid? Not that I’m disagreeing with you….” She grinned to herself as she felt a rumble in his chest as he laughed, a low, sexy chuckle.
“Because I shouldn’t be this angry about you being married.” Cordelia stiffened in his arms. “Why do you think that is? Why do you think I’ve been such a bear about this?”
They both stood there, silent in the night. Cordelia finally raised her head and pushed away, stepping back a little as she looked up at Angel, her eyes luminous in the moonlight.
“Um. I don’t know.” Angel held her gaze and didn’t move except to push his hands into his pockets. “I know we’re putting you to a lot of trouble….”
“It’s not the trouble.”
“I know this makes stuff….messy. Life, that is.”
“I don’t mind a little mess.”
Cordy threw her hands up, a laugh bordering on hysteria bubbling up from her throat. “Well, damn, Angel, I don’t know why my inconvenient marriage is such a thorn in your side. You tell me.”
Angel looked down at her, at the energy that crackled off her body as she stared up at him. He looked away and grinned to himself, meeting her gaze again.
“Tell you what. When this is all done, when you’re just Cordelia Chase again, we’ll have a drink and I’ll tell you.”
“Yeah, like that’ll happen soon.” Angel took her arm while she talked and they headed back towards his car. She sniffed again. “Now, apparently, I need more than references to select an attorney. I need blood samples, a family history, and a sworn statement of humanity.”
Angel held her hand as they crossed the street and approached his car. “I found him. A real attorney. He’s on the level, and has a one man office, so his case load is small. He can take care of this in about a week.” He opened the passenger door for Cordy. “You and Wes have an appointment tomorrow.” Cordy looked up at him, smiling slightly. “What?”
“You. You’re one of the good guys.” She wiped at her eyes and leaned in to whisper, “You don’t scare me, pal.”
“Well, don’t let that get around.” Angel pushed her into the car and shut her door, walking around and getting in on his own side. “Girl Scout Cookie time. You know I have to be rough and tough when those little girls come knocking, or I’m outta control.”
“Yeah. We’ve still got boxes of thin mints from last year.”
“We do?” Angel sounded pleased.
“We hid ‘em. You and sugar, not so much.”
Angel grinned and started the car, pulling out into traffic. Cordy looked out the window and smiled, feeling a little lighter in heart and soul. Tomorrow. She’d take care of this little problem tomorrow. And then….single city. And, apparently, drinks with Angel.
Part 7There was sweating like a pig, there was flop-sweat, and there was Mr. Blevins. He raised perspiring to a whole new level. Cordelia sat still in her chair and looked across the old, metal desk at him before sneaking a glance at Wesley, who sat beside her. Wesley looked back and shrugged, just as Mr. Blevins finished looking over the paperwork spread out in front of him.
“Hooookay.” His voice was brusque, and a little strained. He looked over the forms and raised flat blue eyes to rest on Cordy and Wes. “I think we’re set. Just need..” He wheezed a bit. “Just need to sign a little John Hancock here and there….and get this baby filed…and” he paused, leaning back to emit a deep, gurgly hacking cough. Cordy leaned forward in her seat a bit.
“Um. Mr. Blevins…are you alright?”
“Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just…gotta lay off the cigarettes.” He wheezed a bit more and grabbed up a bottle of water, taking a deep swig before slapping the bottle back on his desk. He rubbed his head and looked back down at the papers.
They had first met with Mr. Blevins a week ago. Dry and cranky, he had assessed the situation and had said that it wouldn’t be a problem to get this taken care of quickly. He had prepared all the paperwork and laid the way for them to get to this point. Today was the day. By this afternoon, Cordelia would be a single woman.
“Okiedokie now….” Mr. Blevins seemed to be working to concentrate. Beads of perspiration shone on his forehead, and he had begun to pant a little. He slid the packet of papers over to Cordelia. “You’ve signed everything except this. It’s the final motion to annul. Right here…” he wheezed a bit and pointed at the blank line. Cordy signed it, sighing, and handed the papers to Wes, who signed his name on the corresponding line. He handed the packet back to Mr. Blevins, who took it and looked down at it, raising his hand to sign his own name.
“Just…” he paused, wheezing a bit more. “Just need my own signature, and I’ll run these down to the county clerk and it’s done.” His face began to turn grey, slowly, and his hand shook a bit. “Hang on a minute….” He coughed harshly, and couldn’t seem to stop. Cordelia snuck another look at Wesley, who looked back, concerned.
“Mr. Blevins?” Cordelia’s voice was a whisper. “You seem….I think….” Suddenly, the lawyer groaned and slumped down on his desk, silent and still. Cordelia and Wes seemed frozen, their eyes wide, before Wes jumped up and grabbed at the phone on the desk, dialing 911 while Cordy rose and ran around the desk, leaning Mr. Blevins back in his chair and loosening his tie. “Mr. Blevins? Mr. Blevins? Oh god, Wesley….I think he’s having a heart attack.”
Two hours later, they sat in the waiting room of the emergency room, forlorn looks on their faces. A nurse had come out to tell them that yes, it appeared that Mr. Blevins had had a heart attack, was stabilized, and resting. They took in a relieved breath.
“Do you think we could see him, just for a bit?” the nurse looked down at Cordy and smiled.
“Don’t see why not. Let me check with Mr. Blevins. You know, it’s so nice of you both to be concerned…I know it makes Mr. Blevins feel a lot better.” Cordy nodded, a frozen smile on her face, as the nurse walked away.
“What are you doing?” Wesley hissed in her ear.
She ignored him, looking casually around, as she reached into her bag and pulled out the blue-backed packet of annulment papers. Wesley looked down and his eyes grew wide.
“I cannot believe….” He looked around, lowering his voice. “I cannot believe that you brought those here to…..Cordelia. The man has had a heart attack.”
“Well yeah, was right there when it happened, Wes.”
“And you want him to sign them NOW?”
“Well, when would be a better time? He’s…ya know…in bed….probably bored…nothing to do. A little work will pick him right up.”
Wesley stared at her in disbelief. “He’s in the emergency room, not at a spa.” His voice dropped. “I’m not even sure this would be legal.”
“First of all, a lawyer. He’s used to things not legal. Not that this isn’t legal, it’s….creative.”
“Creative.” Wesley’s voice echoed hers.
“Yeah. C’mon, Wes. I’m a woman who’ll chase a heart attack victim into the ER to get him to sign papers. Do you really want to stay married to ME?”
“Good point.” They both stood up as the nurse approached them, crooking her finger at them. They followed her to a small curtained off cubicle, peering around the curtains at Mr. Blevins, lying peacefully on the hospital bed. A monitor hummed quietly beside his bed, and an oxygen tube entered his nose.
They approached the bed quietly, and the nurse left, pulling the curtains shut behind her. Cordy leaned over his bed, a small smile on her face. “Mr. Blevins? It’s me. Cordelia Chase.” Mr. Blevins opened his eyes and squinted up at them.
“Oh. Hi. Yeah. Chase and Price.”
“Wyndam-Price.” Wesley muttered under his breath. Cordelia kept smiling and didn’t even spare him a glance as she elbowed him in the ribs.
“How are you, Mr. Blevins?”
“Been better.” He coughed slightly. “Hey, gotta tell you both thanks. The nurse tells me if you hadn’t been there…” He coughed again. “Well, we wouldn’t be talking.”
Cordy patted his hand. “No problem. Always willing to lend a hand.”
“Sorry about this….know you wanted to get this taken care of. Wish I could fix this…”
“Well…” Cordelia smiled brightly as she yanked the packet of papers out of her tote bag, “as a matter of fact…if you could just kind of…you know…sign these…”
Mr. Blevins looked a little surprised. “Oh. Yeah, we can do that. You have to take ‘em down and file ‘em yourselves. County clerk. County seat. Open till 4:00, so you’ll have to hurry.” He took the pen Cordelia handed him and squinted down at the paper. “Um.” Cordy guided his hand to the line and he began to write his name, his hand starting to shake. “Um….” He wrote his first name and stopped, suddenly gurgling and passing out as the monitor beside his bed beeped an insistent alarm. Cordelia froze, panic on her face. Wesley groaned and covered his face with his hands.
Suddenly, Cordy reached down and grabbed at Mr. Blevin’s hand, the pen still gripped in his fist. Raising his hand to the paper, Cordy guided his hand and signed his last name, snatching the pen out of his hand and stuffing the papers back into her bag just as the curtains ripped open and a team of nurses and doctors raced into the small space. Cordy and Wes moved back out of the way, and watched as they worked on Mr. Blevins frantically. A nurse took them aside and said they’d have to go outside to the waiting room.
Cordelia stalked straight through the emergency room lobby on out into the bright day, an appalled Wesley close on her heels. “Cordelia.” His voice was a low hiss. She ignored him and walked around the corner, stopping to pull the papers back out of her bag. Smoothing out the wrinkles, she looked down at them.
“Cordelia. Oh my god.” Wesley leaned against the wall of a building, closing his eyes. “I cannot believe that you…that we….”
“Ease off, horror boy. We’ll send him flowers later.” Cordelia scanned the papers and carefully put them in order. “Ok. I think we’re good.”
“Good? We’re awful. We just…forged a signature on legal documents.”
“Nope. He signed ‘em with his own hand.”
“Oh, Cordelia, really.”
“Oh Wesley.” She looked at him closely. “This has been a train wreck from the get go, Wes. I love you. You’re….you’re like a best friend or something. But the last month, we’ve been fighting and scraping and yelling and it’s just been nasty. I’ve taken on Klingon ministers, demon virgin sacrificers, and more embarrassment than a human should ever have to take. This is it. This is our out. This is us going back to normal. Sorry it’s not all perfectly Perry Mason for you, but this is what we got. I worked with it, and pulled it out of the crapper.” She looked at him. “Now. Do we both go to the county clerk or do you want to do it or do you want me to do it? ‘Cause we’re burning daylight, here.”
Wesley looked at her, resigned, and wordlessly held out his hand. She gave the papers to him, and they looked at each other blankly. She finally spoke.
“Ok. I’ll head on home. You take the bus to the county clerk’s. I think you need the yellow line, and take it to 56th…” Wes looked up as a bus rolled by and on up the street.
“Was that it?”
“No, honey, if that was our bus it would be exploding.” Cordelia thought a moment. “Ok. You take my car, I’ll take the bus. It’ll be quicker.” She handed her car keys to Wesley and he took them, silent for a moment, shaking his head. When he looked up at her, there was a glint of dark humor in his eyes.
“We’re going to hell. You know that.”
“Yeah.” She patted his arm. “But we’ll be seated in the singles section.”
He chuckled mirthlessly, and they both looked down at the papers. Wesley looked up, and searched her eyes, as if looking for reassurance in the hazel depths. Cordy smiled and he nodded his head. “Hey, look. 2:15. Ya got just enough time to get to the county clerk and get this notarized and on record.”
Wesley looked closely at her. “Sure you don’t want to go along? Seems that an occasion of this import…”
“Nah. You go. But….swing by the Hyperion. Maybe take Fred with you.”
Wesley seemed surprised. “Fred.”
“Yeah. Fred. I think….I think she needs to know this is a done deal.” Wesley seemed speechless. “And, you know, if the clerk happens to be Klingon, she can help you translate.”
Wesley laughed, a little lighter, and looked at Cordelia. She looked back, feeling the old, familiar feelings of love pour through her. This was the best, she thought. This is my family.
Wesley leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. “Ms. Chase, it’s been an honor being your husband.”
She smiled back at him, feeling tears gather in her eyes. “Wesley, I don’t know if I’ll ever get married for real…..but if I do…..God, I hope he’s at least half the man you are.”
Wesley’s smile faltered a bit and then he nodded and rose, ducking his head. He turned to go towards the street where her car was parked. Cordelia watched him, a sad smile tilting her lips. He paused, and turned back to her. She grinned, and intoned solemnly, “We’ll always have Vegas.”
Wesley smiled back, and left. The smile bled off her face, and she turned to walk down the sidewalk. Another day, another…..crisis. Her pace picked up. Now on to the rest of her life. But first, she had to finish the day.
Part 8Cordy tugged her jacket off as she meandered through her apartment….sighing a little at the tingle of cool air that wafted over her neck.
“Yeah, Dennis, done and donner. You are looking at a single woman.” She stretched, yawning. “Single and happenin’.” She giggled slightly, walking down the short hall to her room. “Gotta say, even for me, this was a red-letter day. I cowed Wesley, tormented a heart attack patient, and hey, oh yeah, ended a FAILED MARRIAGE. All in a day’s work for Cordelia Chase, seer in the big city.”
She kicked off her shoes and headed for the bathroom. “Gonna take a shower, gonna pull on ugly comfy pants and big fat bunny slippers and gonna sit my ass right in front of the tv with a little gift from my future husbands, Ben and Jerry. Whatdya say?”
Silence greeted her musings. “C’mon, Dennis. We’ll watch Ghost.” Her voice cajoled tiredly. The water in the shower turned on, and she smiled softly. “There ya go.”
An hour later, just after twilight, she settled comfortably on the sofa, slapping her feet onto the coffeetable. The cheerful bunnies on the toes of her slippers grinned maniacally at her upside down, and a pint of Half Baked lay open in her lap. “Ok, Dennis…let’s get this cryfest on the road.” A dvd floated up and into the open drawer of the player, which slid shut with a mechanical whoosh. Cordelia was reaching for the remote when the phone rang, jarring her in the silence.
She stared at the caller ID. Wesely. Please, God. Please please please. Let this be an everything went ok call, and not a business as usual, all screwed up call. She picked up the receiver with fingers that shook slightly. “Hello?”
“Cordelia.” Wesley’s voice sounded muted. “It’s done. Everything went smoothly. The papers have been notarized and documented and filed, and as of 5:00, we are….” He broke off. Cordy relaxed and leaned back.
“Not legally forced to bicker? Able to snark at each other now just for sport?” Cordelia took a huge spoonful of Half Baked and shoved it into her mouth.
“Well, yes.” Cordelia could hear the amusement in Wesley’s voice. “Feel free to….snark….away just for the pleasure of it.”
Cordelia grinned, licking the spoon. “Well, now that I’m single it has to be protected snark.”
“Cordelia…” Wesley’s voice turned serious. “I never said….” He broke off. There was a silence, and she heard him mutter softly, “Maybe this is best not done over the phone.”
“Oh, Wes, now you’re stuck. What is it?” Cordy froze. What had gone wrong now?
“The thing is, Cordelia, I haven’t said….I didn’t…..Cordelia, I didn’t ever tell you how sorry I was about all of this. I feel like it was my fault.”
“Wes. I was there too. Not completely dumb here, just kinda. You don’t have to tell me you’re sorry. I’m not.”
“You’re not?” Wes sounded surprised.
“Well, no. I mean, look at the lives we live, Wes.” She stuffed another bite of Half Baked into her mouth. “Ish nst e ay i ish.”
“What?”
Cordelia swallowed quickly, holding her hand to her forehead as brainfreeze shot through her. “Um, I said, it’s just the way it is. With us. We have weird lives.”
“Yes we do.” Wesley’s sigh was heartfelt.
“Look at it this way, Wes. How great is it that I was married to my best friend? How sucky would it have been had I woken up with Bubba, the 300 lb truck driver from Armpit, America? C’mon, get a little perspective here.”
“There is that.” The amusement was back in Wesley’s voice.
“Good. We’re back. I called the hospital. Mr. Blevins is fine. He’s in the cardio-care unit, but expected to be ok.” Cordy licked at the spoon some more. “I’ll send him flowers from us tomorrow. Maybe with a box of nicoderm patches.” Wes chuckled. “So……didya stand and deliver alone today?”
“Um….no. Had company.”
“Company of the taco-shovin’ variety?”
“Yes. How could you see that she…”
“Oh Wes….clueless, clueless Wes. I think the question here is how could you NOT see?” There was a silence for a moment.
“There is something to that. Being clueless.” Wes mused. “Perhaps there’s something in the water. Because it seems that the clueless affliction is going around.”
“What?” Cordy sifted uncomfortably. There was another moment of silence. When Wesley spoke again his voice was casual.
“Oh, nothing. Just that some people can’t see what’s right in front of them. Me, for example. I think…” he paused. “I think I can see a lot more clearly now, and I think I’m going to take Ms. Winifred Burkle out for dinner tonight.”
Cordy smiled sadly, a little chagrinned at the small stab to her heart. “You dog. Get rid of one, just get another. Really, Wes. Have a good time. I’ll talk to you in the morning, probably with a dairy product hangover.”
“Would you like to join us?”
Cordelia laughed out loud. “Oh, may I? That’d be a perfect first date for you and Fred.” She chuckled. “But thanks, Wes. You’re the best.”
“Alright then. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” Sigh. “Tomorrow.” And she gently put the receiver down. Wesley and Fred. Sittin’ in a tree. She smiled, fingering the receiver lightly as she thought. Good for them. She was reaching for the remote when the phone rang again. She looked at the caller id and picked it up, holding it to her ear. “Hey Gunn.”
“Barbie.” Gunn’s voice sounded relaxed. “Hey, heard you were on the market again.”
“Yes, and I’m strong, have child bearing hips, and all my own teeth.”
Gunn laughed. “Just wanted to call and tell ya….kinda think I was a butt about this whole thing.”
“Yes, you were. Lucky for you, your butt is fabulous.” Gunn laughed again. “It’s all good, Charles, my sweet. I kinda had a butt moment or two of my own.”
“Oh, like torturing sick lawyers?”
“He wasn’t sick. He was near death. Big difference.” She paused. “But yeah, that was a less than stellar moment for the archives. I just wanted it done.”
“Yeah.” They were both silent for a moment. “So…we good?”
“We’re the best, Charles Gunn.”
“OK. Need a little company?”
“Yeah, Microsoft would be nice, if you’re offering.”
Gunn laughed again. “Ok, ok, I get it. Just don’t want ya alone and sad, like those sad women, sitting there in front of the tv eating ice cream all the time.”
Cordy froze, the full spoon halfway to her mouth. “Um, no, no, not gonna happen. No ice cream binge for me.”
“Good. Because my Auntie Bernice…..man, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.”
Cordelia laughed. “No, no, no. No Atkins for me. I’m gonna be skinny Minnie for a while at least.”
“Sure you’re good?” Gunn was serious. “I mean, big day. I was a butt. I could take ya out…”
“I’m fine, I’m fine. How can I not be, with such good friends?” There was a silence for a moment.
“OK. Long as you’re good. Because you’re….you’re gold, Cordy, and you deserve good. Hell, you deserve the best.”
“I think I already have it.” Cordy sighed. “It’s…we’re good and solid, sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow, still skinny, and buy you a latte.”
“Ok. Gonna hold you to that.” And he hung up. Cordy lowered the receiver and was reaching for the remote when the phone rang again. She looked at the caller id and sighed, picking up the phone and holding it to her ear.
“Lorne. Hey. Don’t wanna sing, I’m fine, I’m not mad, I’m not eating myself into oblivion and it’s all good.”
There was a silence. “So…..you’re turning down a date with moi?”
Cordy giggled. “A date with you? Please.”
“Hey it could happen. You know what they say. The size of a demon’s horn corresponds directly to the size of his…”
“LORNE!!!!” Cordelia laughed loudly. “You’re bad.”
“So bad that you need to hustle your tush over here for dinner and entertainment. C’mon, Cordycakes. It’ll be fun. Right now, a Klanarion is onstage singing It’s Raining Men. You can’t find good times like that anywhere.”
“Ok, ok, ok.” Cordelia threw her hands up. “Dinner with the host with the most…sounds good. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be there.”
“Good girl. Just for that, I’m not going to tease you for one single second about your tainted Klingon blood.”
“Hey.”
“Just kidding. Had to get my little lick in. C’mon, time’s a wastin’”
“OK. On my way.” She hung up and sighed. “I give up. My friends are determined to be friends. Dennis…” She rose, and trudged down the hall, her bunny slippers making little slappy noises on the wood floor. “You’re on your own. Try to not drool over Demi, ok?”
Lorne hung up the phone, smiling slightly across the table as he lifted his drink in a toast. “She’s on her way.”***
An hour later, Cordelia entered Carita’s and sat down, looking around for Lorne. Not seeing him, she wandered through the crowd till she got to an empty table and sat, wincing as the woman on stage belted out “Like a Virgin.” God had a sick sense of humor.
A waitress appeared, and Cordy ordered with an absent minded smile as she looked again for Lorne. Maybe he was giving some kind of psychic music mojo reading thingee to someone, or something. The waitress returned and set her drink down and wandered off at Cordy’s soft “thanks.”
She leaned back in her seat, absently stirring her coke as her mind wandered. A shadow fell over the table and she looked up, grinning a bit as Lorne joined her and sat at her table.
“Cookie….a coke? The shame, the shame.” Lornes’ voice was light but his gaze was watchful.
“Yeah. Me and the drinkypoo, we don’t seem to mix.” Cordelia flashed him another grin. “I learned my lesson.”
“About drinking?”
“That. And other things.” They both fell silent. Another shadow fell across the table, and Cordy looked up at the waitress, standing over her with a single drink perched in the middle of her tray. The waitress pointed in the direction of the bar.
“From that guy over there, the one with the horn in the middle of his forehead?” Cordelia followed the point and smiled apologetically, shaking her head no. The Demon shrugged his shoulders and she turned back to Lorne.
“Just what I need. Newly single, out on the prowl.”
Lorne looked down at his fingernails carefully. “Sooooo…not ready to dive into the having fun with the romance thing just yet?”
“If ever. Jeeze.” She sipped at her coke. “I don’t think I’m cut out to be married.”
“Honey….” Lorne broke off as the waitress appeared again with another drink for Cordelia.
“The guy with the one eye in the middle of his chin.” Cordy followed the waitress’ pointing finger and smiled again, shaking her head no. Lorne watched the byplay.
“Cordilicious…you’re looking at this all wrong. That wacky thing called love doesn’t really walk hand in hand with married. Those are two things going on. You need to look at the big picture.”
“Oh, I did. I have seen the big picture, and it’s like a Seurat. You know….really beautiful from far away…but get up close, and it’s a mess.”
“Cordy, maybe your happy ever after is here. Maybe you’re too close and it looks like a mess, but you need to stand back and let the picture get clearer.”
Cordy sipped at her coke. “Could be. Maybe…” She grinned at Lorne. “Maybe I just need to hang with my favorite green guy and have me some dinner.”
Lorne nodded, looking over her shoulder and hiding a grin before rising.
“Cordycakes, all I’m gonna say is that men are like busses. One goes by, another one will come along.” Cordy wrinkled her nose at him.
“Oh, nice, Lorne. I’m having that stitched on a pillow.”
He grinned back. “Oh, and live long and prosper.” He waved a little wave and disappeared, leaving Cordelia shaking her head; she would never, ever live the Great Star Trek Wedding down as long as she had breath.
Just then, the waitress reappeared, this time holding a tray heavy with several glasses, all identical, of the same drink. She plunked the tray down onto the table and Cordy raised wide eyes to her.
“Cranky looking guy in the black coat over by the bar….” Cordy’s head whipped around and met the solemn dark gaze of the vampire who stood apart from everyone else. Cordelia froze, held by the somberness of Angel’s unwavering stare.
The waitress looked down at the tray. “Honey, just take ‘em. I’m not carting that tray back to the bar.” And she disappeared. Cordy ignored her as Angel strolled over, his eyes never leaving hers. He sat down across the table from her and they looked at each other silently. Finally, he spoke, looking away casually.
“So. Big day. What with the medical emergencies and all.”
Cordelia groaned. “Any chance of this little story just sliding away without comment?”
“None at all.” Angel smiled a bit. “That’s Cordelia. Good in a crisis.”
Cordelia smiled slightly and played with her glass. Angel watched her a bit.
“Any regrets?” Cordelia barked out a laugh.
“Oh, my. Jeeze. Where to begin…”
“But the thing is….”Angel’s tone was calm. “..at the end of the day, you have friends who care….you have your life back….”
“Not to mention newfound legal expertise and a sundry knowledge of Klingon. Wasn’t expecting that.” Cordy grinned at him. He nodded back.
“So. I guess it’s official.” Cordy nodded.
“Yes, it is. I’m officially, absolutely, one hundred percent…..not married.” She thought a bit. “Hey, you were going to tell me something….something….remember?” He looked at her evenly. “C’mon, Angel, you hate it when I do that to you…spill. What did you want to tell me. Tonight, everyone wants to tell me something, it seems, get on that train and dish the dirt. He just looked across the table at her, and she began to fidget. “What’s with the drinks?” She leaned in closer, wrinkling her nose as she sniffed at one of the glasses. She looked up at Angel, who watched her carefully. She picked up a glass and took a sip, her eyes widening as the cool liqueur slid down her throat. “These are…these are all….” She laughed. “These are amaretto sours. Hooboy….no thanks.” She set the glass back down. Angel shifted slightly, watching her. “Last time I had one of these…”
“Yeah?”
She paused, smiling sadly. “I had another. And another. And another. And after a while….I got wacky.” She broke off, raising startled eyes to his face, as he leaned in a little and lifted the glass back up, reaching across the table and handing it to her. She took it with nerveless fingers, and held it tightly as he nudged her hand, keeping his eyes locked on hers. The picture suddenly became clearer as all the dots in her mind connected into a lovely arrangement of color.
“Drink up.”
And she did.The End
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