Go TeamC/A
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Title: Dreaming of You
Author: Ficbitch82 (Christie Baird)
Posted here:
Rating: R/N-17
Category:
Content: C/A
Summary: Cordelia and Angel had a happy...here are the consequences...
Spoilers: Season 3
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Pretty much anywhere, just ask!
Thanks/Dedication:(part 1) : To my wonderful father, William Baird, Dad I love you, I know you'll read this and cry, but it has to be said. You're my light. (part 2) : To my wonderful Dad, who read the other dedication and cried, like I knew he would! Again, this is for you, for always believing in what I can do, for always backing me up no matter what. Guess what I'm sayng is, you're the best...
(part 12)To my Sister, Shelley who's currently in hospital following an operation - also known as my best friend and my 'Pardner in Crime' - c'mon, hun! Get better! Need Drinkies and Sing-ies! Love you!!!
Feedback:Yes please!
Part 1A vicious circle. Same thing, over and over and over. I go to work, I come home, I sleep. And in dreams, he's always there. Always constant - my heart and mind filled with him, filled with conversations we'll never have, filled with my admission of love that he returned before I doomed him to a life of torment.
***
"Cordelia." His voice fills me with amazement, here he is again, and though I know that this dream will end badly, like they so often do, my heart skips a beat, my eyes pool with tears and I turn.
"A-Angel?" Every night I reach for him, and he holds me close, one hand circling my waist, the other stroking my hair tenderly. It hurts, being so close to him and knowing I'm going to wake up and every night before we talk I ask the same question, looking up into chocolate brown eyes, "Can we stay here forever?"
Angel nods, tears sliding down his cheeks, "Always." He whispers, wiping salty tears from my cheeks with the pad of one soft thumb. And then he takes me to the place he wants us to be, the place where, for tonight, will provide us some kind of solace, some kind of peace. Tonight, we belong in my apartment, sitting in front of the fire, the last place I saw my Angel, the last place I uttered the words that I loved him - and the last place he returned those words. The fact that this was the place where my life ended, doesn't matter - the only thing that remains is that this was where he told me he loved me once again, and he meant it. We lie there contented, in the blissful aftermath of sweet love-making, something that can only ever be repeated in dreams - sweet bitterness for when I wake up, I'll be able to remember every kiss, every touch of his skin on mine - everything, and when I awake, I shall be alone again, left with the memory of the night before. Strong fingers trail a light pattern on my skin, his touch burning through me - making me sigh. For I know that soon, I shall awake again.
"Cordelia?" He says softly, looking down at me. "Don't cry." The tears are sliding down my cheeks and I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. "Why does it always have to end?" I whisper, sadly. "Why can't we ever just be together...always? You promised me always..."
Angel's tears on my shoulder make me turn, look up at him. His face sad, eyes full of regret. "Always is a long time, Cordelia." He whispers. "You don't have an always with me."
And so it starts, the words cutting through me like a knife. "Our always ended when you killed me."
"I know." My shoulders slump forward and I stand, going to look out the window. "It'll be light soon." Is that really me speaking?
"You have to go." Said Angel quietly.
I nod. And slowly I wake up from the peaceful slumber that protected me.***
When I look in the mirror now, I don't recognise who I am anymore. I killed him. In a moment of loving him I took away his soul and for that I'll always pay. As I sit here, I wait. Not for Angel, but for Angelus. I've made a deal with the devil. I take the cross down from my window at night, he lets my friends live. He uses me...for his own gratification and I do it willingly. I hate that he can set my skin ablaze by touching it. Every night, the same. Me willing myself not to let him get to me, to shunt the obvious arousal when his fingers are on my skin, his lips on mine. And every night, I try to pretend that this is Angel, touching me like he did the first time. The only time. The way I see it? Angelus is an easier ticket to get out of this life. I already know I'm dying. The visions are killing me - and I took solace in Angel's arms...we took solace in each other and it cost Angel his soul. There's no cure for me. We know that now. I'm dying. But for now, I strip down to my underwear and take the cross from the window, waiting for him to arrive. Praying that this night, will be the one that takes me to my Angel.
I hope he doesn't hate me the way I hate myself, my body for reacting to Angelus so. But we all make sacrifices and this is mine. I let him use me, Fred, Wesley and Gunn live on. I haven't told them about this. They'd die of shock themselves if they found out. Just have to keep hiding the bruises. What makes it worse is that...he wears Angel's face. If he wore his true, vampiric face, maybe I could justify it...say that I really am sleeping with a demon. But sometimes, he's so gentle, it's like Angel's back again and that's when I get scared. I'm human. I make mistakes. But this is my biggest yet. And somehow? I get the feeling that even after I die I'm going to be paying for this one.
Part 2Sometimes I wonder why I don't just kill her. Killing is an art though and it would have to be special. It'd have to be a day when Wesley and the other members of Angel Investigations expect her to be all sunny-filled and light, where they expect her to bounce in on a high - and then be crushed when she doesn't. I like to imagine the look on the Watcher's face as he comes across her body. His ashen face as he sees the Seer laying face down in a pool of her own blood. But now isn't the time.
Every night I come to her, her spirit is worn down a little more. I could break her completely. I could snap that spirit right in half if I wanted to. I find myself touching her softly, gently - so that she can try and fight the obvious arousal. I know who she sees me as. She sees him. My pathetic alter ego.
I think, had I had a bit more time, I would have broken the Slayer. Buffy. She would have been fun to break. It makes me wonder who's the stronger of the two. Cordelia, occasionally, fights back with that fire in her eyes that I love. Yes. That fire in her eyes I love. I'm a demon, certainly. People think we can't feel, can't see, can't hear... But there's nothing so beautiful as the sound of a crushing spirit between your fingertips, KNOWING that you were the one to wear her down that little bit more to the point where she snapped. Isn't a sound like it in the world. I think, perhaps, if Acathla hadn't arrived when it did, I would have taken my time with Buffy. I've never actually killed a Slayer, from what I hear from Spike, the high is almost like a drug, addictive - reeling you in like a hook in the stomach (and I would know), capturing you, taunting and teasing until she takes that final breath in your arms. So yeah, I would have liked to have broken her.
But for now, my sights are set on this beautiful, wilful brunette. Maybe she thinks that if she believes it's him, it won't be as hard. I proved her wrong last night. She called out his name, and as punishment, I hurt her in ways I don't think she could have imagined. And still, before I left, as she watched me leave by the window I came, she shot me a glare before going to shower. Get rid of the things I'd done to her? Probably. I imagine she's still sore now. That makes me happy. It also means she won't call his name tonight. See, tonight, I'll play a different game.
Tonight, I'll be gentle, loving and tender. All the things her Angel was - because at the point where she thinks I'm going to kill her, like she did last night, I can change tacks, be gentle... Assault her body with tender ministrations that will make her weep. Never let someone believe that a demon can't be gentle, or kind... We've just got to want to do it badly. Maybe, my being gentle will make his name slip from her lips but tonight, I won't punish her, I'll still be loving and kind, let her believe that her Angel has returned.
And then tomorrow night? She'll hurt in ways that only I can inflict upon her. Make her forget all about the tenderness of the night before, and why? Because I can. Because it's fun.
See, the musings of a soulless vampire aren't all that complicated really, are they? We break them, then we rejoice but the way I do it - it's an art... And she knows this. For every time I touch her, she begs me to do it. Begs me to feed, snap her neck - kill her, let her join her Angel in Heaven. And that's when I remind her...
She's fucking a demon. The only place she's going is Hell and unfortunately for her? The only face she'll see when she gets there is mine.
Part 3Every step she took, Cordelia winced. Angelus's rough treatment of her the night before had caused the brunette to almost call in work and pretend she was sick. Again. But Cordelia knew that should she do that, they would cotton on to the fact that something was wrong. They weren't stupid. Only last week she'd called in when Angelus, in a particularly brutal and dark mood after a run in with Holtz, had pinned her to the bed on her stomach and taken her in a way that Cordelia had never wanted to, nor never would again want to be taken. It was bloody... It was brutal and it hurt in ways she'd never imagined. But she'd never screamed once. She never cried, nor whimpered, pleaded nor begged. Cordelia Chase, former Queen of Sunnydale took what she deserved and when he'd left, she simply washed traces of his touch away and fallen into another dream.
This time. There was no Angel. He hadn't been there for a few weeks now, yet another way Cordelia was being punished for her body responding to a demon. To him. On the outside, he looked like her Angel. But on the inside, he was bitter, twisted. It wasn't Angel, she knew that. Angel would never treat her the way he did. Would never raise her hopes in one breath, one kind look and then dash them in the next with just a smirk. The smirk now, was familiar. Whereas the silly, dorky smile of his when Angel was here and happy had once been the mainstay of her life, now? It was that smirk. That cold, cruel hearted smirk. It was his trademark. Sometimes, Cordelia scared herself by calling him Angel... It only served to make her feel worse. How could that be Angel when he was so... Cold?
Gingerly, she stepped down into the hotel, "Hey guys, wha - "
Her sentence died on her lips as she was met with the sight of Wesley, Gunn, Fred and... Buffy? Spike? She'd known they were visiting but... Was it really this week? All clamoured round the seats. "What's going on?" She asked.
"Maybe you should tell us..."
Cordelia glared at Buffy, just who the hell did she think she was? Pain forgotten about, albeit briefly, her eyes flashed angrily, "And who died and made YOU Queen?"
"Actually, I did... The dying part, anyway." Retorted Buffy, looking at Cordelia. "Were you really that stupid?"
"What's that supposed to mean? You *knew* about what happened, if you think you can come down here and lecture me on the finer points of Angel's soul then..."
"Spike smelt him on you." Said Buffy, gently, her eyes soft, sympathetic.
Cordelia felt lost. She felt lost - at least this thing with Angelus, she'd had control over but now... She didn't, and Angelus could hurt her friends. "Wh-what? I don't know what you mean..." She lied.
Wesley looked at her, disappointed, "You know he's not Angel, how could you betray him that way?"
"Be-betray him?" Asked Cordelia, tears filling her eyes, "Is that what you think? Is that really what you think of me?"
"Cordelia..." Started Gunn, hating seeing her like this.
"No!" She said, shaking her head, "Is that what you think? That I *like* what he does to me? I mean, Spike's SMELT him on me, you must know what he does. Do you think I *like* that he wears his face? DO YOU? Do you think I like being pounded into a mattress while he tells me I'll never see Angel again? Do you think I *like* that he PRETENDS to be Angel? HUH?!"
Fred sat there, watching in abject horror. "But... But you told us he'd left town, our sources..."
"He *killed* our sources... Haven't you wondered why you haven't seen them around lately?" She asked, desperately. "He told me..."
"He... Forces... You... Into... This..." Said Wesley, through gritted teeth.
Cordelia laughed, she actually laughed - a sad laugh, looking at the floor. "No." She said quietly, "He doesn't force me. My body betrays me. My body betrays Angel when I react to him." She whispered, "He came to me a few nights after... Told me that if I didn't, he'd kill you and Gunn and Fred and everyone I cared about. And I wouldn't let him. Sometimes..." Cordelia stopped, squeezing her eyes shut, "Sometimes, he's so gentle... So tender... That I can't help but think that it's Angel... But..." Tears slipped from her cheeks, "If I call out his name... He punishes me... Tells me that... That he's not him, that he'll never be him..."
Gunn stood to wrap her in his arms, but Cordelia pulled away, violently, "Don't touch me..." She growled.
"Cor..."
"Don't..." She said, shaking her head. "Just don't, okay? Don't touch me. Look, when Angel first... When he lost his soul, I knew what I'd done." She whispered. "I knew I'd killed him... And that hurt more than anything but... Knowing he could kill you guys. This way, it's easier..."
"EASIER?" Growled Gunn, "This AIN'T easier, Barbie! He's workin' you into an early grave and you're LETTING HIM DO IT!"
"What choice do I have?" She asked quietly.
"Do you think Angel would want him to be doing this?" Asked Wesley.
Cordelia glared at him, "How can you ask me that? I'm doing what's RIGHT..."
"No, what's right would be to stake him..." Said Buffy gently.
"And could you?" Asked Cordelia, "Could you willingly drive a stake through his heart?" She looked at Buffy, "C'mon, you killed him once, go do it again. Oh, but I bet you could, since he's not the great love of your life anymore."
Buffy shook her head, "Cordy, we're only trying to help..."
"Don't call me that." She whispered.
"Wha..."
"Don't call me CORDY..."
Fred looked at Wesley, the past few weeks had been hard on them all, had they honestly not noticed Cordelia going downhill. "He broke her." She whispered.
"Not yet." Said Cordelia, gently. "He didn't break me yet..."
"But you know he's going to." Said Gunn, shaking his head.
"That's what he wants." Said Cordelia, "That's his big schemey plan thing. And then... When he does, you can kill him."
"We'll... Get his soul back!" Said Fred.
"NO!" Said Cordelia, looking up and shaking her head, desperately. "No... We won't."
Wesley looked at her, puzzled, "But... Why? I thought this would be what you wanted..."
Cordelia shook her head, "Sure, what I want is Angel coming back knowing the things I've done, the choices I've made. How would he react... Knowing that I've... That I've slept with... With him WILLINGLY..."
"But to keep your friends ALIVE!" Said Fred, "He'd never..."
"I said no." Said Cordelia quietly, "This would kill him." She whispered, "Knowing that I've... Knowing what I've done would hurt him more than anything else." She said gently, "Angel never finds out."
"Cordelia..." Started Buffy.
"Drop it."
"But..."
"I said drop it. I've made my decision. We all make mistakes. We all have to deal with the consequences."
Wesley looked at her, "Cordelia, you don't *deserve* this..."
"Don't I?" Cordelia was *really* asking that question. Was honest-to-God asking the question of whether she deserved this.
"Of course not..."
Cordelia shook her head, "I used to think that but... Maybe it's just my punishment. Do you know something? I haven't had one dream of him... Not since I started this with Angelus. It used to bring comfort... Dreams of him." She whispered, "We'd make love and he'd hold me and everything would be fine..."
"And then you'd wake up, right luv?" This was the first time Spike had spoke.
Cordelia looked at him and nodded.
"You keep wakin' up and expectin' it to be some kind of dream... Angelus wasn't really there. Soul Boy was."
She nodded again, fighting back tears.
"Does he hold you down, make you do things you don't want?"
"SPIKE!" Yelled Buffy, "We don't need details..."
"Let her answer the question..."
Cordelia nodded, numbly.
Spike stepped next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Why is it you'll let me touch you and not your friends?"
"B-because..."
"Because I'm a demon." He said gently, "I'm cold, soulless and you don't deserve warmth or comfort, which you know one of your friends'll bring, right?"
Cordelia nodded, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"You won't kill him, because killing him will bring you relief and Angel'll be really gone, hm?"
A sob escaped her lips and she crumpled, sitting down on the nearest chair, she wasn't even good enough for comfort from Spike and he seemed to know this. Buffy and Fred both stood, tears sliding down their own cheeks whereas Gunn and Wesley watched, horrified.
"Cordelia, please..." Said Wesley, "Just listen to reason..."
"Luv..." Spike kneeled in front of her, "You know that Angel wouldn't want you to do this. You know that he'd want you to kill him. He wouldn't want you to hurt..."
From the relative reprieve of hiding behind her hands, Cordelia whispered, "He didn't want to die either - he got no choice..."
Part 4With a great degree of sadness, Wesley Wyndham Price, former member of the Watcher's Council, UK, realised that his life had never been the same after taking up position as Watcher of Buffy Summers and Faith Spencer. What he also realised was that without that, he would never have been introduced to Angel, to his life apparently. In a word (or three), Wesley's life previous to the Council had, put bluntly (and seemingly in Sunnydale terms) sucked beyond belief. Perhaps, he'd expected too much to come of his upbringing. Remembering the dire little house and the father he scrabbled for the approval of, made Wesley wistful, sad sometimes. But nothing, nothing had become as crushing as knowing your best friend was willingly laying down for a demon to subject unspeakable tortures upon her young soul. She did it nightly. She did it without complaining, without letting on what was happening and she did it for them.
This in itself was worse than anything his own father had subjected him to, than anything Angelus ever would. She'd said it herself, he wanted to crush her soul and he was doing so. Making her believe that even if Angel did, by some small miracle, return to this life, he'd never forgive her. Angelus had convinced her that she wasn't going to Heaven to 'join her Angel' - he'd convinced her that because of what she'd done, he'd greet her in Hell. Existing in this world was hard enough, living in it right now, much harder. Angel was gone. In his place a soulless demon.
Cordelia unable to allow herself to be happy because of the acts she committed, to keep her friends alive. Part of him wondered what drove Cordelia to make such an arrangement. Why, when they had the means and certainly the will to do so, did she let him destroy her in this way?
Loyalty.
That's what it came down to when you placed a label upon it. Loyalty. She wasn't willing to let him hurt her friends and in doing so, she made him hurt her instead.
"ENGLISH!" Wesley was broken out of his reverie by a yell from Gunn. Buffy, Spike, Gunn and Fred stood around the desk in the office, Cordelia upstairs seeing to Connor, the only thing she had left of Angel. If Spike listened carefully, he could hear her soft spoken words, her gentle cries...
The song she continued to sing over and over again. Even Spike admitted that she couldn't carry a tune, but the song she sang was so heartbreakingly sad that he found himself tearing up.
I will remember you
Spike snapped himself back to the people huddled around him and sighed. "Okay, might come as a shock 'ere, but... I don't like it... I say we kill him."
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had
We let them slip away from us
When things got bad
How clearly I first saw you
Your smile just like the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me
I wanna be the one
I will remember you
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much to deep
It's funny how I feel so much but cannot say a word
Though we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard
And I will remember you
will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so afraid to love you
more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness a deep and endless light
Gave me everything you had oh, you gave me life
And I will remember you
will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
"Kill him and she's still broken." Said Fred quietly. "The only person that can make this okay is..."
"DEAD." Gunn shook his head, frowning. "Jeez, are you people dumb? He's FUCKING her into an early grave and you wanna bring him back?"
A punch to the jaw sent Gunn skidding backwards into the wall. Not from Buffy, nor Spike, nor Wesley...
Fred. "That's not Angel!" She yelled. Little fists clenching and unclenching angrily. "I won't have you saying it is..."
The group fell silent.***
"I told him you had his forehead." Cordelia was stroking Connor's face gently as she fed him, her words hushed to a gentle whisper. "I told him you brooded like him." She closed her eyes and sighed, "I told him I'd be here forever."
Connor gurgled in her arms and Cordelia looked down at him. "When you're old enough... And they tell you about him... About us... What happened... You'll hate me." She whispered, "I wish I could make you understand that what I do, I know it isn't right but... It's the only part of Angel I have. When he's gentle... It's not so bad... I can pretend that he loves me. I can pretend that it's really your Daddy. I can pretend that I didn't really kill him."
When she looked up again, the sun was setting, Connor was asleep in her arms. Trusting, loving. "You bring me comfort." She whispered, pressing her lips to his forehead. "You're a part of Angel. A part of me..." Cordelia hugged him for a second, before standing up and placing him in his cot. "I love you." She whispered.
Walking down the stairs, Cordelia swiped at the tears. She wouldn't let them see her cry, not again. "Guys, I'm going home." She called.
They were out of the office quicker than they could blink, Gunn harboring a bloody nose.
"Cordelia, please!" Begged Fred, "Don't go home... Not to that."
"I have to." Came the hushed reply. "If I don't he'll... Look, I'll be fine, okay?"
"But you won't be. He's breaking you." Said Fred gently.
"I'm sorry. This is what I have to do." Cordelia was out of the hotel, Gunn about to run after her when Wesley stopped him, "Gunn, wait. Buffy, make the call."
"But..." Fred began to speak then hushed at the look of determination in Wesley's eyes. "Are you sure?"
Wesley made the decision. "Make the call." He nodded.***
He was already there. As she got to the apartment, Cordelia was awarded with the cold chill that Dennis had set up as a warning system, should Angelus be hiding in wait for her. Gently, she closed the door, placing her keys on the table - immediately faced with naked Angel, sitting on the couch, a smirk on his face. "Hello lover." He growled. His demeanour changed, however, when he saw the red rims around her eyes. "You've been crying."
"Why do you care?"
"I'd like the woman I'm fucking to be a little more than a Zombie..."
Cordelia winced at his harsh words. "Someone in my family died today." She lied.
"Was it the Watcher?" He asked, hopefully.
Cordelia's eyes narrowed, "I meant my OTHER family. And no, it wasn't."
"Too bad. I'd like to have seen him dead."
"Bastard."
"Don't you just love it on me though?"
"Can we get this over with? I've got things to do." Said Cordelia.
"No, you don't."
"I hate you." She whispered.
"Which is just the way I like it. You fuck me, I don't ask you to love me."
"I never could anyway."
"No, you love my pathetic alter ego..."
"He's worth more than you'll ever be." Retorted Cordelia, hotly.
"I like it when you're like this." Said Angelus, smirking.
"Like what?"
"When you defend him... It makes you that little bit harder to break... But not impossible." Angelus pulled her into his arms, his lips crushing down on hers brutally until she was clawing at his chest, trying to get some air.
When he finally pulled away, he laughed, "I thought you liked it rough..."
Cordelia just stared at him, "Can't you just do it already?" She whispered, "Stop taunting, just get it over with and get the hell out of here!"
"Oh no, that would be too simple..." He smirked.
*I want to feel your spirit snap between my fingers, feel your last breath. I want you to cry for him... And I want you to see the face of the demon you hate as your body gives up.*
Angelus ripped her clothes from her body, dragging his nails across her stomach, making her whimper. "Nice." He smirked, staring at her white bra and cotton panties. "VIRGINAL... Not like you at all, is it CORDY?"
He was using his pet name for her, reminding her that now in no way was she a virgin to anything of a sexual nature. Cordelia looked down. "Don't call me that..." She whispered.
"But Cordy, I love you." His voice was hard, brittle.
Tears welled up in her eyes but she kept them there. "And I love *Angel*..." She whispered.
"Angel, Angel, Angel..." He ran a finger down her jawline, softly, gently - making her shudder. "It's always about Angel."
He felt her spirit break just that little bit more as he placed a tender kiss on her lips.
"Y'know, he can see EVERYTHING you do. Everything I do..." His fingers trailed down beneath the waistband of her panties, "Everything that makes you want me more."
Cordelia winced as a painful flash of arousal darted between her legs.
"He told me to tell you something..." Said Angelus, gently.
Cordelia looked up at him, hopefully, words of love perhaps?
"He told me I was welcome to you..." He grinned.
Cordelia gasped, feeling like she'd been punched.
Angelus smiled. *Soon.* One word, universally used had so many meanings. Soon, she'd be broken. Soon, he'd move onto the Slayer. Soon...
Part 5For one night I was granted a reprieve. For one night. And for that entire night, I wondered. It didn't matter that tonight I wasn't being forced to do things I would never do out of love. It didn't matter that for the first night in the entire six months Angel had been gone, I wasn't hurting. What mattered was Angelus wasn't here. He hadn't turned up. I'd have liked to have thought that... He'd gotten sick of me and moved on but I knew this wasn't true. He has a hold over me and for as long as he decides to keep me here, he has that hold.
Perhaps, if I'd been thinking straight, I would have gotten out of there sooner or REALISED at least, that something had happened. It was, after all, only the night before that my friends had found out what had happened. But I didn't think, I was too busy WORRYING about the consequences, that I didn't think they'd actually happen...***
He hadn't been there the night before and that worried Cordelia a whole lot more than she cared to admit. If one of her friends had gone after him and he'd hurt them then...
The door grunted under a dead weight and Cordelia whimpered. Nodding to Dennis to open the door, the dutiful ghost did so. Cordelia was taken aback, Angelus almost fell through the door, thrashed to within almost an inch of his unlife, there was blood everywhere. Cordelia didn't even think. She ran to his side and helped him in her apartment. "What happened?" She asked, almost fearfully. An answering growl made her quieten and Cordelia stood... A hand clamping down on her wrist. "Where are you going?" He growled.
Not dead, nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum, I call.
"T-to get the bandages and stuff..." She whispered. "You're... You're hurt."
Cordelia went into the bathroom, pulling the things she used for when Angel was injured down from the top shelf and walked back through, kneeling next to him, tending his wounds in silence. "Why are you doing this?" He glared at her, "You hate me."
"You're right, I do." She said gently, placing gauze where a stake had penetrated his stomach. "But that's... You're in his body. And I couldn't bear to see him hurt."
Gods bind him, cast his heart from the demon realm, return his soul. Let him know the pain of humanity - reach your wizened hands to me, give me the soul of the one I seek.
"I don't know why you do this," Said Angelus, cruelly, "It doesn't mean he'll hate you any less."
Cordelia continued in silence, making Angelus even more annoyed. Why wasn't she reacting anymore?
"Oh, I've got some news for you..." He smirked.
Another set of cruel words. This time, Cordelia was prepared. She wouldn't let him see her react. Not this time. Not again. She'd just carry on, regardless.
He tilted her chin up with his fingers, wanting to see her break a little bit more, "I've never been fond of smart-mouthed black kids." He said, his eyes glowing a sickly yellow colour as he morphed into demon form. "He fought well. Not well enough though."
Cordelia sucked in her breath, "No... You didn't... YOU DIDN'T!" She yelled, getting up and pulling away from him forcefully.
Restore to the corporal vessel that which separates us from beast. Use this orb as your guide.
This earned her a slap which sent her flying across the room and into the wall as she sobbed, "YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULDN'T HURT THEM!" She screamed, scrambling up the wall and back, away from him.
"And we had an arrangement." Growled Angelus, "You wouldn't tell them and I wouldn't hurt them." *There, she's starting to break.* Thought Angelus, a self satisfying smirk on his face.
"You killed him." She whispered, "Y-you really did, didn't you?"
Angelus laughed, "Have I ever lied to you before?"
Cordelia looked up, tears streaming down her face, a steely determination in her eyes, "You told me you were better than him." She said calmly, "You lied."
I call on you Gods.
A growl.
Do not ignore this supplication.
Angelus lunged for Cordelia, thrusting her against the wall, his hand clasped around her throat.
Let this orb be the vessel to carry his soul to him.
Cordelia gazed at him, "You can beat me." She whispered, "You can rape me. You can torture me. But you'll never break my spirit. Ever. Because that belongs to ANGEL..."
It is written, this power is my people's right to wield...
A fist. The crack of bones. Cordelia's body sliding down the wall... Angelus stalking away into the night...
Let it be so! Now!
And Dennis. Picking up the fallen form of his friend and frantically dialling the hotel's number... Fingers flying over memorised buttons...
And a soul, floating through the ether until it reached it's target. He fell to his knees, rasping for breath, eyes frantically searching for his bed. The last place he remembered, for Cordelia in a blissfully wonderful haze. Instead, he found gravel. He found memories...
A lamb to the slaughter...
Blood on his hands...