Title: F*** Buddies
Author: DamnSkippy
Email
Rating: NC-17, Language and Sex
Category: Humor, Smut, Angst
Setting: Through Fredless of S3 and then AU from there
Content: C/A
Summary: Cordelia wishes for a fuck buddy and, boy howdy, does she get more than she bargained for.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Anywhere, but please let me know, k?
Notes: For Angel his demon thoughts are surrounded by **asterisks**, while the soul's thoughts are italicized. Everyone else's thoughts are italicized.
Feedback: I find I need it. I tried to abstain, but I'm just a feedback whore. So, please tell me how pretty I am and how you want to bear my children, if only...
Chapter 1
As slow days went, and we're talking a full twenty-four hour span, this one was at least a seventy-two hour snore-o-rama. Time dragged so slowly, Cordy thought she'd been sucked into another dimension where clocks ran on turtle time.
She had so little to do that she was able to read every sexual advice article in every magazine she had five times already. She tortured herself by reading about sex because it was better than forgetting what it was completely. It had been over two years since she'd had any, and she was officially a virgin again - according to all the magazines anyway. That thought brought her absolutely no comfort.
But the story that she kept going back to was the one in Cosmo by a woman who had a great sex life with her best friend. It sounded so nice and logical. Sex with a friend had to be better than none at all. Admitting that a ghost with a loofah just wasn't as satisfying as a living, breathing, sweaty body was the first step in her sexual healing. The next step would be finding the right friend.
"Angel..."
He was sitting at the counter filling in notes on some recently closed cases. Currently he was the only one there with her. Wesley had a date as ironic as that was to her, Fred was in her room writing some tome about nose hair, and Gunn was spending the slow night back with his gang for a change. Lorne had a client in El Segundo, so he'd be gone for awhile. It was just Cordy and no bone.
"Hmmmm?" He didn't bother turning around, trying not to lose his place in his notes.
"Have you ever...ummm..." Oh! Stupid question. "No, nothing. Forget it."
Angel put down his pen and slid around in his chair irritated. "Don't do that, Cordy. You know I hate it when you start to ask a question and then don't. It drives me nuts."
"Well, I stopped because I figured out the answer myself, so there's no use asking." Cordy kept her eyes glued to the magazine in her hand, absentmindedly flipping pages without reading them.
"Ask anyway because now I have to know what it was. I can always torture it out of you. Remember me? Scourge?" He dramatically folded his arms across his chest in a mock threat.
Cordy got up and walked around the counter to the coffee table to get another magazine throwing her response over her shoulder. "It's stupid really. I just wondered if you'd ever had....a fuck buddy. That's all. But then I realized, duh! Darla! So it was stupid to ask."
"What exactly is a... Did you just say fuck buddy?" Angel jerked out of his chair and turned his right ear toward Cordelia suggesting that his hearing must be failing him.
"Yeah, that's right. Fuck buddy." She retrieved a new magazine and turned back to see him staring at here in disbelief and possibly embarrassment. "Oh, c'mon! You know. You're not that culturally deficient."
"I guess I must be, because I don't know." To Cordelia he looked less like someone uninformed and more like someone who knew the exact details of everything she could possibly think of regarding the uses of a fuck buddy.
"You're just messing with me. You definitely know so just stop playing me." The way he was staring at her with that wide-eyed disbelief made her feel very uncomfortable as if she'd just said 'fuck' in front of a five-year old preacher's daughter.
"I really don't know. I can maybe guess, but I hate guessing and being wrong because then you make fun of my stupidity. So please just tell me."
"I don't make fun of you. I just enjoy hearing a 250-year-old fart trying to make sense of modern slang and seeing how your mind works. It's interesting and entertaining. I laughed for days about your definition of 'gettin' jiggy with it'." The memory of him struggling to understand why anyone would want to 'get with' an Irish dance that wasn't that popular even in his day was a priceless memory.
"I'm glad I amuse you. Now stop stalling and just tell me what a fuck buddy is."
Angel was becoming increasingly frustrated. The longer she refused to just explain what she meant, the more his interest was peaked. The reason for that extreme interest was in no small part because of the person talking about it.
He hadn't really allowed himself to think of Cordelia as a sexual object for many reasons. There was Buffy, and the curse issue, and just the fact that he truly loved her as a friend. The first and only female friend he'd ever had, and that was new and different. He could have sex with anybody, but a friend like this was rare.
But watching her shapely form glide around the counter and gracefully sit at her desk again as she casually spoke about having sex with a friend, he couldn't keep his mind out of that gutter.
"A fuck buddy is just like it sounds. A buddy, or friend if you will, with whom you have sex for fun. No strings. You're free, she's free so you hook up for a while because you're both horny and you know it's safe. No chance of hurt feelings because no romantic love is involved."
"Well, by that definition then, Darla was definitely NOT a fuck buddy. We weren't friends and there was absolutely nothing safe about it. And there were miles of strings." He really wished she hadn't brought up Darla. He was beginning to have a good relationship with Cordy again, and he didn't even like her remembering Darla existed much less talking about her.
He noticed that Cordy seemed to visibly relax after his assurance of Darla as anything but a buddy and that lifted some small measure of guilt from her mention.
"Oh, well, I put her in the FB category because you weren't in love or anything," she said.
"Well you can just take her out. I don't want Darla in any category. And since I never really had any female friends until you, I guess I've never had a fuck buddy. How about you?"
Angel was pleased at how this conversation was going. He didn't really know much about Cordy's sex life. He knew Xander had been her boyfriend in high school, and he'd met a few of the guys she'd dated, but other than that her sexual conquests were a mystery.
Unfortunately as his interest increased, Cordy appeared to want to forget about it. She had picked up the magazine she'd gotten from the table and was flipping through it nonchalantly.
"Me? No. It's never been an option for me. I mean all the guys I've known were always just sniffing around to have sex. They weren't interested in being friends. I mean until you guys."
Well, that didn't tell him much. Did that mean she'd had a lot of sex or did she shoot all the sniffing suitors down? If it wasn't for the whole Wilson Christopher demon seed planting, Angel wouldn't have any trouble believing she was a virgin. Besides what she looked like, which was hot as hell, she really seemed pretty naive sexually speaking.
Determined to find out more for no reason he could consciously fathom, he decided to keep pushing. "So...uh...why did you ask me about this?"
Angel could tell she was nervous discussing this which only made him more curious. She was trying to feign interest in an article, but the pages shook slightly in her trembling hands. "Oh, I was just wondering what it was like to have one. Ya know, was it fun? Did it really work out okay? Could you really do it without getting all emotiony."
"And why would you want to know? I mean are you thinking about asking someone to do this?" Could Cordelia really be considering this as an option? And with him? The demon in Angel was salivating at the prospect of sex with that body. The soul was more cautious but strangely not averse to the idea.
"No! Geez, who would I... No! Well, maybe. I'm just so damn...frustrated." She slammed down the magazine. Suddenly she seemed to realize what she'd just said. Her eyes grew huge and her cheeks were aflame with embarrassment. She stood and started pacing appearing like a trapped racehorse ready to bolt from the gate.
Angel watched his nervous friend still a bit shocked and sharing some of her embarrassment at her confession, but that light of interest that flickered moments earlier was becoming a pretty warm burn in his chest.
Cordy finally spoke quickly and without breathing. Never looking at Angel, she seemed to be speaking more to herself or that funny looking spot shaped like a ferret on the floor. "I don't ever meet anyone that I can actually date, and even if I did, who would put up with all the crap we face every day? So, I'm thinkin' maybe a fuck buddy isn't a bad idea."
"So, uh, who were you thinking of asking?" He tried to get her to look at him, but she continued to avoid his face at all costs.
**Get in there, soul boy. Strut your stuff. You know you want it. Look at those plump tits just begging to be sucked dry.**
Dammit, shut up, shut up. This is Cordelia, not a tavern wench. Have some respect.
"Well, it's kind of a tough choice. There's Gunn, of course. But, I don't know... I mean I love him and all, but we just don't have a lot in common really and I think maybe I'd like to be able to converse with the guy sometimes. Then there's Wes, but with our history I'm afraid he might get clingy. You know, want to cross the line of friendship, and I just can't see it. So I was thinking...."
**This is it. Don't act too anxious. Make her beg.**
Like I haven't done this before. I said shut up.
"Maybe I'd give David Nabbit a call."
**You're such a prick. She'd do a pathetic nerd before you. I'm embarrassed to be your demon.**
"David Nabbit?!? He's not even a real friend. I mean he's barely an acquaintance. Oh! And he's a client, so he's completely out of the competition." Angel was livid at himself for being upset by her choice and at her for not asking him. Way to be wishy washy.
"But he's so sweet and lonely and there's definitely no chance of me falling for him. Unless he flashes a lot of money in my face or buys me tons of clothes and jewelry and it all comes wrapped in shiny new personality transplant. I wonder if those are expensive?"
Angel ignored her yammering about money and clothes knowing how little that really mattered to her. "But there's every chance of him falling for you. He'd have his jet fueled and headed for Paris for your honeymoon before you got your first button undone." This wasn't a lie. He'd known since the first time they'd met him that Nabbit was totally into Cordelia. There was no mistaking his quickened pulse and arousal whenever he saw her.
"Really? You think so? I never got the impression he was attracted to me?"
"Trust me, Cordy. Vampire here. I can hear his heart race and sense...other things...when he's around you."
**The little perv.**
"What other things? Oh. OH! And ewwwww! Well, damn. He was my last - well really my only - hope." Angel could see the dream crumble on her face. She plopped down in her chair giving up.
**Here's your chance moron. Grab her and show her what a real fuck buddy is.**
She doesn't want me. She didn't even mention me.
**Call me when you get your balls back. I'll do it.**
"What about me?!? Aren't I your friend?"
Jesus, just keep your fuckin' mind out of my mouth.
Cordy's mouth gaped and he'd finally succeeded in getting her full attention. "You'd be willing to... No, that would just be too weird. Oh! And there's the curse. And don't even say I couldn't give you perfect bliss, mister, if you want to remain stakeless."
"I'm sorry, Cordy, but you couldn't give me perfect bliss. Nobody can." Again, not lying. He was sure of this.
"Hello. Buffy. Remember? Buffy...boffo...poofo Angelus?"
"Not even with Buffy now. I didn't know about the perfect bliss clause when I slept with her. Now I do know and I can never forget that. I can never lose complete control now because I know what that means."
"Are you sure? I mean have tested that little theory out? And if that's true, why haven't you gone back to be with Buffy?"
Cordelia's mind was racing at this new information. Could this really be true? He was always the one and only man in the world I could definitely not have sex with. And now, all of a sudden, he' s eligible? Hmmm...he does have a great body for a corpse. Ewww. Don't think about that!
"I haven't gone back to Buffy because we just don't belong together. When I went to see her after she returned, it was obvious how much we'd both changed. We agreed that our lives were too different to include each other in them except as friends. And if you're asking me if I've had sex since Buffy, the answer is, yes, I have. And obviously, no Angelus."
**That's what you think. I might have to pop out for a visit if you get any of that ass.**
Shooting up from her seat, her hands automatically grabbed her hips in a challenge. "With who? When? And why would you risk losing your soul with some skanky ho and possibly kill us all? Is it that hard to keep it in your pants?"
"First, it's none of your business who. Secondly, I wasn't risking anything because, like I said, I never forget the curse. Thirdly, it's kinda hard, yeah."
**Nice entendre but you need to bring out the big sword here.**
Her emotions were bouncing off the walls. Angel's had sex? How did I miss that and why do I care so much? "Well I'm shocked. I can't believe all this time, you... And I thought... Well it doesn't matter anyway, because we couldn't do it."
"Why not?" Angel asked,
Cordelia relaxed her arms and let them brush casually against her thighs as she walked around her desk oozing sensuality. She stopped at the end and slid back onto the desktop using her hands' grip on the edge to support her weight. As her butt wiggled into place, her upper arms squeezed her breasts as she leaned forward giving Angel a very nice view of her ample cleavage.
"Angel, you're my best friend which means we're already very close. And if you ever got a taste of this, there is no way you couldn't fall in love with me." She lazily crossed her legs, allowing Angel a glimpse beneath her short, short skirt for emphasis.
**Ooo, baby, that was the wrong thing to say to me.**
And to me. Now shut up. I'll handle this.
Angel was up and standing over her in an instant, dangerously close to invading her personal space. "Hah!! Now that's funny. If anyone would fall in love with anyone, it would be you...with me. I've got about 230 years more experience in the sex department than you, and what I could do to your body would have you begging me to marry you within a week. Probably sooner!"
**What the fuck? What's up with the 'm' word? Are you trying to make me sick?**
Is this idiot for real? Marry him? Pfft! "Please. As if!" She pushed him out of her way and stormed into the lounge area. "You're such an ego maniacal jerk. Just because you've lived longer doesn't mean you know how to please a woman. You may know how to make a woman scream, but that doesn't necessarily mean you do quality work. I, on the other hand, have all the instincts. I know just what it takes to make a man melt in my hands."
Angel stalked her slowly, tilting his head down so his heavy brow made his eyes seem to be squinting. "Melting is not what you want a man to do in your hands. If that's what's been happening on your dates, no wonder you're still single."
**Ooo, that's gotta hurt. I'm such a proud demon right now.**
The air was thick with the steam pouring out of Cordelia's head. Cordy, don't do something stupid. Calm down for Pete's sake. Count to ten. One, two, three… ah, the hell with it! I'm going to nail his ass to the wall.
"That's it, buddy! Fuck buddy, that is. Nobody questions my ability to make a man squeal without paying the price. I'll have you eating out of my hands and screaming my name in your sleep within a week!" She jabbed her finger in his chest to accentuate every point.
"Are you daring me?" Please be daring me.
"No, dumb ass. I'm betting you. I'm betting you that we can't be fuck buddies for more than one week before you fall helplessly and hopelessly in love with me." Cordy stood fast crossing her arms in a gesture of confidence and defiance.
"And what's the bet? If you fall in love with me, what do I win?" Not to be out-defied, he crossed his arms.
"Well, stupid, ME, of course. But if for some bizarre reason known only to Kreskin you wouldn't want me, then I'll...I'll...Oh! I'll clean and polish every weapon in this place for a year. What do I get if you fall in love with me?"
"Trust me, you wouldn't need another thing in your life if that happened, but I'll go shopping with you once a month and buy you one article of clothing each time." Why did I say shopping? I hate shopping.
**Then I guess you'd better win. No worries. I'll take over from here.**
"Deal." Cordy shoved out her hand and Angel grabbed it.
"Deal." They shook and sealed their mutual fate. "But how are we going to prove who wins?"
"It'll just have to be on the honor system," she said. "The moment you know you're in love with me, you'll just have to tell me. Anyway, I can read you like a bad Whedon script. I know crap when I see it."
"No, no way. I know you, too, Cordelia. You would never admit it. You'd take it to your grave before you let me win. Huh-uh. There's got to be another way."
"What other way? Celebrity judges?"
"Lorne!! At the end of the week, we'll both sing for Lorne and he'll tell us who won. And no arguments with the results. Whatever he says goes. Agreed?"
"That's fair. Agreed." Cordelia took his hand and started for the stairs dragging him behind. "Now move your ancient ass."
"Where are we going?"
"To your room, of course. And you'd better be naked before I get there."
Angel let go of her hand and sprinted up the stairs leaving Cordy standing there, hands on her hips.
Oh, lord. What have I done?
"Well, too late now. That boy doesn't have a chance. I almost feel sorry for him. Dork."
Chapter 2
Once Angel reached his room, he immediately shed his shirt, but stopped dead in his dead tracks.
**Oh, no! You are NOT going into sensitive girly man mode now. You are fucking that girl and you are going to fuck her brains out. Got it?**
"What do you know? I'm just considering the consequences. That's not girly. That's smart." He paced back and forth in front of his bed as he weighed his options here.
**Smart, schmart. Stop thinking. It's sex!! Remember that? Hot, wet, hard, pounding, grunting, growling fun for a girl and boy?**
He stopped and talked to the ceiling as if that's where Angelus always hung out. "Hey! It hasn't been that long. I have sex."
**I'm not talking about jacking off to your mamby, pamby Elizabeth Taylor fantasies. And, by the way, have you seen her lately? She's really old now. Maybe you should update your fantasy fuck file for my sake?**
"I'll take that under advisement. Any requests?"
**We haven't done a red head in a while or maybe a Nubian nymph. Hey! Who the fuck cares about the fantasy when you've got the real thing coming up those steps? When was the last time you stuck that prick into some REAL pussy? I'll tell you. The Buffster. Three years ago. And to be honest, she just wasn't a good enough lay to last three years.**
His demon was right. The real thing was almost at his door and he was totally freaked about what to do about it. He had to figure out what to do next, so he kept arguing with himself to reason it out.
"Well, there was Darla and the Furies. And Buffy was a virgin. That counts for something."
**Oh, yeah. Virgins. Big whoop. Pop 'em and then what? They lay there like dead fish and make you do all the work. Highly overrated. And the rest? Dead, dead and can we say more dead? What are you, a necrophiliac now? Because that's just sick.**
"Darla was your dead bitch, remember?"
** Darla was my sire. I had to fuck her. What's your excuse?**
"Depression and a bad vacation to hell. Besides that's not the point. The point is this is stupid and dangerous."
That's right. Stupid because this was his best friend and he didn't want to risk losing that over a silly bet. And, dangerous because what if she fell in love with him? He knew Cordy, and when she gave her heart she gave it all. How could he live with himself if he broke her heart when he couldn't return her feelings?
**Dangerous only for wimps who are scared of challenges from little girls. What's the matter? Afraid she'll hurt your widdle feerwings by not falling in love with you?**
"No, asshole, just the opposite. What if she does fall in love with me?"
**You tear her heart out and hand it to her with a side dish of 'who's da man' gloating. Sounds like a little heaven on earth to me.**
"Yeah, well, your heaven, my hell."
**Wait a minute. I've really lost my touch. I get it now. You're not afraid she'll fall in love with you. You're afraid you'll fall in love with her! God you really make me wish I was more dead.**
"You don't know what you're talking about. I'd never fall in love with Cordelia. She's too..."
**Hot. Gorgeous. Funny as hell. Smart. Takes no shit from anyone, not even me. Linked to you on a psychic level. Oh, shit, you're already in love with her!**
"I am not! Are you nuts? She's a friend, that's all. I am not worried I'll fall in love with her. She's not my type at all."
**Right, that's why you stand in dark corners and stare at her for no fuckin' reason and sniff her hair when nobody is watching. Oh, well. Sure would've been great to sink my teeth in those big, juicy tits. But, we can't risk it. You'd be head over heels in love with her in two seconds, and then where would I be? Trapped in here with your pining, whining pussy-whipped ass and no where to run. Do NOT fuck that bitch. Got it?**
"I am NOT and will NOT fall in love with her. And I will fuck her if I damn well please, so get over it!"
Angel was furious with Angelus. Just because he strolled around in his head didn't mean he knew anything about him. Please. Fall in love with Cordy? That'll be the day. That son of a bitch was about to learn that just because he was the soul didn't mean he couldn't be just as selfish and ruthless as a demon. Fuckin' demon isn't going to tell me how I feel and what to do.
He was about to bend over and rip off his shoes when he heard Cordelia outside his door...and was that a demonic giggle inside his head?
***
Cordelia slowly stomped up the stairs toward...what? The bedroom? The pleasure chamber? The I'm-the-biggest-ho-in-LA-and-now-I-have-to-pay-for-being-horny-and-stubborn hall of shame? This calls for some theme music.
If she was at home, she'd be swishing around singing some made up jingle at the top of her lungs. She did that a lot when she knew she was about to do something completely stupid and crazy. Like the time when she went to save Gunn without Angel and Wes. All the way there she made up words to the "Mighty Mouse" tune. It was just a fun little tool she used to calm herself. Take the edge off the insanity.
Tonight's little self-flagellating ditty was being sung to the tune of "I'm a woman."
Duh-DUH-duh-duh. I was reading a magazine and came up with this stupid ass idea. Duh-DUH-duh-duh. Fucking my best friend and making him fall in love with his seer. Duh-DUH-duh-duh. Now I don't know if I can stop or would try even if I could. Duh-DUH-duh-duh. I think it'll be fun to watch him squirm and see his eyes when he gets the wood. 'Cause I'm a bitcha. B-I-T-C-H-A.
Hmmm. She liked that one. Might have to write that down and sing it for Lorne in a week. Yeah. Sing it for Lorne and then have him humiliate her in front of Angel when he announces she lost the bet and is now hopelessly in love with a vampire. She knew it was possible she might fall in love with him because she already did love him as a friend and, really, how far was the leap from friend to lover? Just a skip. A hop. Maybe even just the dip of a toe really. She halted on the steps to ponder the possibilities.
"Won't that be fun, Cordy? First, there's the whole slut issue which we will forego now for enjoyment as a future recrimination. Then, there'd be the endless months and possibly years of the yuck festival that is unrequited love. And, how about that laugh riot of working every day right next to the big lug and never being able to look at or speak to him again because it's too embarrassing and painful? Not to mention the comedy stylings of my so-called friends and family about how it all happened in the first place. And, then, to top it off, there'd be hours and hours of hilarious weapons cleaning. Oh, yeah. This is shaping up to be my best plan to have sex ever!"
She trudged up the steps knowing she couldn't possibly go through with it but dreaded that evil look of smug satisfaction she knew would be plastered all over Angel's pasty, pale face when she backed down. God, he could be so self-righteous for an evil, demony, soul person.
Why does he always have to be right? I mean he started this, really. I was just trying to let him off the hook by saying he'd fall in love with me. He knew that. He had to know that. But, he had to get all offended and try to one-up me with his 'I'm such a man ho and you wouldn't have a chance' load of bull.
"I mean how could I back down from that? Was he trying to piss me off just so he could get into my pants? That would be so like him, to try and reverse psychology my ass, so he could get some free Cordy love." She stopped at the revelation.
Oh, my God. That's it! He tricked me into this because he's already in love with me and figures this is the only way I'd ever have sex with him. How pathetic is that? "Poor guy. He's already lost the bet. And if he's already lost, then I've already won! Or, at the very least, it would end up a tie. I mean, if I did happen to fall in love and he's already in love, there's nothing to lose. I can't hurt him, he can't hurt me and I get to have sex! Which is all I wanted to start with, so this is a win-win situation. Plus, if I win...shopping and new clothes!"
The theme music began to play in her head again as she started up the staircase with a new jaunt in her step. But, when she got to Angel's door, the music died in her ears and was replaced with the sound of her heart racing around the track at Santa Anita. And they're off! Oh, man was that Freudian or what? She wasn't sure if they were "off" their rockers, "off" their game, or just about to be sucked "off," but there was definitely a lot of "off" happening here.
"Okay, Chase just get off the off crap and...," she started, but remembering there was a vampire's ears on the other side of the door, she finished silently, get in there and start your engines. Dammit! Stop with the double entendre shit. Get in there and win one for the Gipper! "Who or what the hell is a Gipper anyway?" She reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly suddenly remembering that she had told Angel he'd better be naked when she got there and hoping he hadn't actually done as he was told this time.
***
What the hell does an old Notre Dame football player have to do with sex? He'd just heard Cordy's comment about the Gipper and was still pondering the ramifications when she opened the door slowly and peeked in. He saw her sigh of relief when she looked at him.
"What took you so long and what was that sigh for?" Angel asked mostly to fill the awkward silence he was sure was about to invade the space between them.
"Uh...I just had to...uh...decide...ahem...how I wanted to have sex tonight. That's why it took me so long. And the sigh was because I was glad you hadn't gotten undressed yet. Would have spoiled my idea." Whew. Close one. Now what's your idea paint-yourself-into-corners much girl?
**Where does she get off planning the sex?**
I'll take this one. And I thought you said no sex?
**Oh, I did and I still do. But if you're going to do this, at least be a fuckin' man about it. Show the cunt who's in charge.**
I said I'd handle it and don't call her a cunt.
"What do you mean how you wanted to have sex. Aren't we doing this together? Ya know, like buddies?"
Cordy slowly crossed toward him at the foot of the bed. She tried to keep her eyes on his face as she moved and spoke, but his awfully fine chest and abs were distracting.
"Well, I was thinking. You mean you are thinking...like right this very second...at Indy 500 speeds. "Since this is a competition, we should come at it like one. I mean you did say there were things you could do to me and I admit I boasted about my prowess, so I think we should take turns showing what we can do." She stood about a foot from him with her hands clasped behind her back and swayed her shoulders back and forth like she always does when she's trying to be cute and get her way. And Angel was falling for it like he always did.
"Okay, but why do you get to go first?"
**Could you embarrass me just a little more because I'm not quite pansy enough yet? Fuckin' take her and stop this negotiating shit.**
Angel shook his head to clear his mind of the irritating noise.
"Well, there's always the ladies-first thing and then there's the it-was-my-idea-in-the-first-place thing. Oh, plus. It's not really an advantage to go first. I mean normally there'd be some planning and preparations for a proper evening of mind-blowing sex with me, but I'm willing to be magnanimous and take the first night disadvantage and give you a break." She fluttered her eyes and bit her lip just in case he wasn't buying it.
**Don't you dare fall for that feminine wiles bullshit**
"All right. Tonight is your call," Angel couldn't help but match her cute grin.
**God what a dick. She is so playing you.**
Cordy got what she wanted, smiled and turned walking a few feet away to be prepare.
Angel turned his back to her and resumed his internal argument. I know she is, but that doesn't matter. Let her fall flat on her face tonight. Then we'll show her how it's really done tomorrow.
**We? Do I get to play?**
I'll think about it.
**What's to think? If you want to win this thing, you know where to find me.**
***
Brilliant move, Cordy. Why the hell did you want to be in charge? Just because this is scary and Angel... Helloooo. Angel is about to have sex with you! Damn, I wish it hadn't been ten hours since I had a shower. Hmmmmm...shower sex fun? No, that's just so cliché. Has to be unique and very erotic. What turns on a guy...even an undead guy like Angel? Ooohhh, I know! This could work assuming I'm as good as I think I am.
Cordy stood up straight and steeled herself for what she had planned. It was risky and if she failed, very embarrassing. But, right now all she wanted was to make it through this night and then tomorrow would be his problem.
"Okay, Angel. I need just a minute to get ready." She headed for his CD player to pick out the perfect music. "Oh, you should take off your shoes and socks in the meantime. It'll make it easier."
She was in charge. Angel sat down on the foot of the bed and began removing his shoes and socks as he watched her sort through his collection. It was pretty sparse, but he had some classic stuff. He doubted Cordy would know any of it enough to pick something appropriate, but within moments she had chosen and placed it in the machine. The soothing sound of bluesy jazz oozed from the speakers as Cordy dimmed the lights and put flame to the few candles that decorated the room. In a minute she had transformed the harsh, cold bedroom into an amber smoke-filled, jazz club reminiscent of Harlem in the fifties. She positioned Angel's comfortable reading chair facing him and about six feet away.
Angel was intrigued so far. She'd managed a sexy mood in a matter of moments and he was half undressed. He had to give her points for ingenuity at least. She slithered toward him and used one finger to motion for him to stand up.
Cordy stood only inches from him. "Tonight we're going to play a little something I like to call 'Look Ma No Hands'. I don't get to touch you and you don't get to touch me."
**What the hell is she trying to pull? How is there supposed to be fucking without touching? You need to reign this bitch in.**
She saw his what-the-fuck face, his hands begin to move towards her, and his mouth begin to voice a protest so she quickly put one finger on his lips to hush him. She lowered her voice and made with the sultry eyes.
"But there's more. You can't touch yourself…," glancing at his groin, "down there...and I can't touch myself like that either. But we can play any place else." She gave him an evil grin and stretched up to reach his left ear. Whispering breathily she said, "It's about...looking." She pulled back, to see his interest peaked and bit her lower lip. Then she whispered in his right ear with a heavy, husky tone, "And it's about...listening."
Cordy backed up a few steps, kicked off her heels and began to gyrate her hips to the slow rhythm of the music. She kept her heavy-lidded eyes on his as she brought one hand up to stroke the back of her head while the other caressed her cheek. She let out an "ahhhh" and tilted her head back as she barely brushed her fingertips across her jaw and under her chin. Both hands met there for the long, languorous journey down her throat. Her back arched to thrust her breasts out further as the sides of her hands skimmed lazily between them.
**What kind of sick game is she playing? Grab this bitch and let's get the real shit started!**
No! Shut up! I kinda like this.
**You would stalker boy.**
Angel swallowed hard when she arched and moaned. He was looking and listening and so far so good. His mouth was getting dry as were his lips so he snaked his tongue out to wet them and a little "mmmm" escaped in the process.
Cordy's hands were now fully grabbing her butt cheeks as she continued to sway. She turned around so Angel could get a better view of her firm ass. She said to him over her shoulder, "I forgot to tell you. I can ask you to do anything within reason and you can ask me." She let the motion of her hips carry her back around to face him and said, "The first one to make the other come without touching wins." She smiled and arched her brow.
"Okay, I'll play. And, I think it's time we even the playing field. Take off your blouse." Angel expected to see a little panic in those, cool confident eyes but the only thing greeting him was satisfaction, and it disturbed him a little. What's up with the smirk?
**I told you not to play her game. Now she's got you by the balls you gom.**
"I am getting a bit warm with all these clothes on." She danced toward him and was close enough for him to feel her warm, moist breath on his chest. She peered up into his eyes as she tantalized him with her words. "I need you to undress me."
Angel's hand twitched and he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Cordy swirled around and gave him her back. Her grinding hips were just a hair's width from his awakening boner. If he got any harder soon, he'd make contact whether he wanted to or not.
"Unzip please," she instructed and Angel's shaking hands moved as told. His fingertips accidentally grazed her neck as he grasped the metal fastener and sent a shiver down Cordy's spine. He noticed the tremor and sported his own satisfied smirk.
See? She's not the only with power here.
**What do you want? A medal? So she trembled at your fumbling touch. You're my hero. Talk to me after you jerk off and lose.**
Cordy let the sheer fabric slide down her arms, and she dropped it from delicate fingertips to her side. Angel got his first glimpse of the nude, silk bra that had been hiding underneath. In this light you could almost think it wasn't there at all. That thought sent reinforcement blood to his growing third arm.
"I'm still a little flushed," Cordy baited. "I think this skirt is too confining. Would you mind?" She jutted her hip backward to indicate the zipper on her skirt and rammed full steam into his arousal.
"Oooo." Cordy heard Angel's response and put her finger to her mouth in pouty contrition. She turned to give him the full view over her shoulder. "Sorry. My bad."
**Damn straight you're bad. That was no accident, brood boy. She's cheating!**
So what? Felt good didn't it? I can cheat, too.
He unzipped her skirt and stopped her as her hands reached to push it off. "Huh-uh. Didn't you ask me to undress you?" Her hands fell to her side. He splayed both of his hands on the outside of her skirt at her hips and pushed it all the way to the floor making sure his fingers molded it to her hips, thighs and calves on the way. When he'd reached the bottom, he looked up and realized his face was staring at her grinding, exposed buns. The flimsy matching nude thong strap provided no cover as it disappeared between her cheeks, and Angel was very curious about how that strip of silk felt trapped there.
**Damn that was a slick move. That's some fine tail you're staring at. Whatcha gonna do with it?**
Sit back and take notes.
Cordy could feel his eyes but especially his cool breath fanning her as she danced. It felt amazingly good, and for the moment she decided to stay there and enjoy it. He seemed to hover behind her for an eternity, and she was so tempted to shove herself into his gawking face when she felt him shift to stand. That was when she felt his wet tongue lick her between her cheeks. She flinched and gasped, but still heard Angel's guttural growl which shot straight to her core and involuntarily started her juices flowing.
She turned around and saw Angel shrugging his shoulders and shooting her his best mock surprise expression. "Sorry. My bad." He felt very proud throwing her own words back at her, but even better about the taste of her still on his tongue. It was possibly a big mistake on his part to taste her, because now he knew he had to have more.
"Just for that little slip, I'll have to punish you." Cordy backed up a few feet and picked up the pace of her sultry strip show.
**Okay, maybe this won't be so bad after all. Spank me, baby. I'm a bad, bad boy.**
Angel couldn't help but grin at his demon's thoughts because he felt the same way. He watched as she began touching herself in all the right places. Her fingers drew circles on top of her bra around her hardening nipple and then paused to pinch and squeeze them before moving to the next one. Her other hand teased him by slipping in and out of the waist of her panties and then gliding up and down the inside of her thighs. The tip of her nails grazed her mound as they flittered up and down and in and out of her thong. Her tongue lovingly wet her lips and her hair sexily draped her face as her head swung from side to side in building ecstasy.
"Mmmmm...oh, God...this feels so good. I really wish these were your hands." Cordy's voice was raspy which made it even sexier.
The sight and sound of Cordelia writhing under her own touch was turning Angel on to the extreme. He found his hands mimicking her own motions, working his own nipples and running his fingertips around his cock and up and down his thighs. How he remembered he wasn't allowed to touch it, he'll never know, but he avoided actual contact.
"Oh, Angel. I'm getting so hot. I need to see you. All of you."
Angel could hear her heart pounding and smell the musky scent of the wetness between her thighs. His cock was so hard he wasn't sure he'd get his pants down over it, but he stopped his own stroking to do as she asked. He pulled his boxers and trousers off at the same time and stood before her at attention.
He saw her devour him with her eyes and his cock jerked as he watched her mouth part, tongue lick her lips, and then close symbolically around him as if sucking on his tip. Then she opened her mouth wider, tilted he head back and laid her tongue out flat while fluttering the tip. He could feel her searing mouth around him and the tip of her tongue teasing the head from across the room. He slid down her throat and her fingers tenderly fondled his balls as she pulled him in more and more.
"Oh, Angel, you look so good and you taste like heaven in my mouth. So cool and soothing against my hot, wet tongue."
"Holy shit, Cor. That feels so good. Don't stop." Angel moved his hips back and forth in synch with the motion of her head as she imagined licking and tugging on him. His fingers dug into his thighs and massaged all around his throbbing staff but never touched it. He closed his eyes and could see himself moving in and out of her mouth.
"Oh, my, God. Your mouth is so hot. My hands are on your head, sliding through your hair, holding on for the ride. I want to push you hard and plunge my cock deeper." His hips thrust a little harder, and he could feel himself tightening. It was happening to fast. He wanted much more. He opened his eyes and slowed his hips and even took some calming breaths to step from the edge.
He looked at her still imagining him in her mouth and decided it was time to bump it up a notch. His voice came out not quite as controlled as he wanted it. He was still shaky. "Cordy, look at me." She slowly opened her eyes and found his face through still unfocused lenses. Her hands slowed their stroking and her mouth stayed parted so she could take in some much needed oxygen.
"Take off your bra and thong. I have to see you." Her body began to sway again as her hearing picked up the background music. Her fingers slid across her breasts and unhooked the front clasp. As she pulled back the feathery fabric, her breasts sagged and bounced a bit at being released from their binding. She flung the bra someplace behind her, stretched her arms high and clasped her hands over her head exposing her copious glands in their full glory.
Angel's mouth ached to surround those firm, jiggling mounds. His hands instantly went to his own chest and flipped and danced around his nipples. His tongue reached out and flicked at hers and he could feel the rough ripples of her areolas against his buds. He grunted and moaned as his mouth covered her and he nipped at her tit with his teeth.
Cordy saw his mouth and hands and knew he was mentally massaging and suckling her. "Oh, yes, Angel. Suck on me. You know I love it when you do that." She brought her hands down and cupped her breasts for him. She stroked and squeezed them together over and over again.
It was time for that punishment she promised him. She moved seductively toward him and got close enough for him to feel the waves of heat rising from her skin. She took her finger slid it into her mouth, drenched it, and slowly pulled it out between clinched lips. Angel's eyes followed her every move and gulped as she rubbed the wetness over her nipples making them glisten.
"Blow on me. I want you to make me even harder."
Angel's eyes widened and his hands stopped moving. Her body was so close and he could smell and feel her arousal in every pore. He growled at the frustration and knew it would go downhill from here because she had that 'you asked for it' gleam in her eyes.
He bent down to do as instructed. She cupped her breasts and squeezed them together causing them to protrude even closer to him. He puckered his lips and blew softly on her damp nipples. He was so close he could see the areolas constrict even more and the taut nubs grow. All he had to do was flick out his tongue and he would have her. He'd never been so turned on and pissed off at the same time. And then she had to say something to just make it worse.
"Mmmmm...that is so amazing. I wish you could sink your teeth in my boobs right now."
**Okay, I've been sitting this out, but now you had better NOT let this prick tease get away with that.**
Now is not the time. There's more interesting things to come. Besides, it's been fun so far. I think I'll ride this out. Go back to sleep.
**You are so whipped.**
"Your breasts are magnificent," he said. "And, yes, I want to ravish them very much. But, you've still got too much on and I think I asked you to take it off." His eyes pointedly stared at her thong.
Cordy didn't like his nonchalant attitude and decided he needed more of a lesson. She backed away and picked up the beat with her hips and thighs. She idly ran her fingers underneath the fabric threatening to but never actually taking them off. She could see Angel beginning to steam impatiently. She made a few more swishes and then turned her ass to him, spread her legs and bent over, looking at him upside down through the V of her legs. She continued to grind her butt in his face and ran her fingertips up and down the back of her thighs and around her cheeks.
See, I told you this would get more interesting. Don't ever doubt the soul.
**Yeah, yeah. Whatever.**
Angel's big smile looked more like a big frown from her angle, but she could see his enjoyment by the twitching erection she had a perfect view of. Too much blood was rushing to her head, so she needed to finish this up. She slipped her fingers underneath the waistband in back and slid the thong down over her ass as far as it would go with her legs spread. She put her hands on her knees and lifted up a bit to turn her head toward Angel.
"I want you to look at me on your knees," she requested.
He had no problem with this order. The view would be worth it. On his knees, her puckered anus and dripping vagina were both open to him at eye level. She let him stare at her as she made circles in the air with her hips. She brought her fingers back around and massaged her cheeks, opening and closing them for his enjoyment. Then she reached around her thighs and did the same with her labia, allowing him glimpses of the opening he ached to be in.
Angel's hands were so close to his shaft. He wanted to touch himself so much, but he resisted. Instead he grabbed the skin around the base and at his upper thighs and squeezed and pushed, his hips beginning to buck slightly.
Cordy saw him touching himself and wanted to make him beg. Closing her legs and straightening her body, the thong slid to the floor. She stepped out of it, turned and crossed to him. On his knees his face was mere centimeters from her muff, and she knew he could sense everything about her. He was smelling her scent and tasting her from it. She was soaked with her own juices and she knew this was killing him, not to be able to take her. It was killing her, too, but in an oh so good way.
Angel had feared there was more torture to come, and he was right. Having her sex so close and yet not able to plunge his tongue inside and quench his thirst with her sweet liquid was misery. He wanted to turn away, but the sight and scent of her was too intoxicating.
"Do you want me, Angel?"
He groaned almost angrily. "You know I do. You smell so good and you're so wet. All I want to do is slide everything I have inside you." His hands worked harder at his groin and his thrusts became stronger as her essence seeped into his skin.
"Oh, yes. That's what I want, too. I'm so glad you want me. Now I can give it to you."
She stepped back from him and he growled at her absence. Going behind the chair that she'd pulled up earlier, she pushed it very close to him. She sat down and slid her hips forward. Draping both legs over the arms she spread herself open for him. She brought her hands to her labia and pulled them open even further. She massaged the folds while her fingers slid around her opening on the slick liquid pouring from her.
Angel's eyes were in the perfect position to see all of her. Her eyes, her full lips, her breasts squeezed between her forearms, her engorged clit and the gorgeous pink folds and entrance to her center. He couldn't believe the beauty displayed before him. Add to the visual, the sounds of pleasure emanating from her throat and the wet suction noises coming from her manipulations of her drenched sex, and Angel was about to explode.
"Mmmm. Now. I need you inside me now. Your cock is so hard and my hand is squeezing you, pulling you closer and closer."
Angel wanted to close his eyes to imagine it better, but he couldn't. Not with her...everything about her...so open and there in front of him.
"I feel you, Cor. So warm and my tip is sliding up and down your lips swimming in your juices. I'm pressing hard against your clit now. Back and forth...over and over...a little harder each time. What does it feel like?"
"Like smooth granite. That's so good. Keep touching me there, Angel. You make me so hot. I'm getting even wetter and my clit is sending tendrils of heat all around and straight to my heart. My heart is racing." Her eyes closed and her hands pressed harder and faster as her breathing became more and more labored.
"I can hear it. You sound so alive. God, I want to impale you," he practically shouted between clinched teeth. "I need to push...to feel you all around me." Angel's hips were thrusting faster and faster. Both hands were still squeezing and pressing against the base of his cock, a poor substitution for the feeling of her folds pounding there.
"Cordy, please…open your eyes and look at me," he desperately panted. She did as he asked and stared into dark brown pools of pure passion. "Tell me what you want. Tell me."
She was so close to the edge. She wasn't sure she could say anything. She was panting and only able to say a few words. "You...I want you...need you...now!"
He gazed at her face, now totally uninhibited. No masks, no games. She shone with desire and the fact that it was for him blew him away. "I need you, too. I want to be inside you. I'm guiding my cock to your opening. You're so soft and smooth and hot. I'm pressing against you and....ahhhhhh...."
"Oh, yes, Angel. I feel you. More....I need more."
"Mmmmm....I'm sliding deeper....oh God, Cor, you're so tight....so hot...I feel your muscles tugging at me...pulling me further..." He bucked hard and then relaxed and repeated the movement.
"Ahhhhhhh...more...harder…you're so big." Cordy spread her legs even wider and stretched her opening with her fingers as her hips thrust upward and she squeezed her vaginal muscles to grab him tighter.
"That's good. Open up for me. Damn, that's good. You're good. One more time. Push with me. Now...push..." They both thrust their hips up voraciously at the same time and screamed.
"Yessssssss...."
Cordy tilted her head back and had to close her eyes. She could hear his movement and she rocked with him, back and forth and around in circles feeling him inside her from every angle.
Angel watched her writhe as she imagined him plunged deep inside her. The look of sheer joy on her face and knowing it was there because she was imagining him inside her, was a huge boost to his ego and brought him closer and closer to the point of no return. He decided to join her. He closed his eyes and listened.
Her wet curtains slurped and her heart pounded. She moaned and gasped and he could feel her nails in his back and her soft but hard tunnel gripping him tighter and tighter. He sped up his pumping and he heard her match it. Suddenly, she began to go even faster and he could feel her tensing all around him.
"Oh, my God...Angel...I'm coming...harder..."
He gave it to her as hard as he could. Grunting as his thighs and butt muscles pumped faster and faster.
"C'mon, Cor, c'mon. Yes…yes…yes. I want to feel you come all over me. I feel it! Clamp down on me hard!"
And she did. She screamed his name as her orgasm contracted every muscle in her body and shook at her core. Angel opened his eyes to watch the flush and madness consume her. Her face and breasts were spreading pink with the blood racing there. She rode him madly and her mouth was wide, gasping for breath. Her head rolled from side to side as the waves swelled and broke over her again and again.
Her ecstasy flowed from her and crashed over him. His cock felt squeezed and met resistance with every thrust. Then the speedy vibrations of her orgasm surrounded him and pounded at him. He could feel his balls being pulled up closer and his seed preparing to be fired.
Cordy opened her eyes as the orgasm subsided and looked at Angel. His face was contorting and grunts were spilling from his throat as he pumped his cock faster and faster. She couldn't help but match his thrusts with her own even though she was spent. The thrill of watching him come because of her was the most exciting thing she'd ever seen sexually speaking.
She didn't want to break his concentration, but his eyes begged her for something. She just felt it from him and she gave what she could. She licked her lips and moaned in pleasure at his imagined prowess. "Mmm...ahhh...pound me harder...harder...you're so deep inside me...deeper than anybody's ever been. Oh, God, that's it. I can't wait to feel you come inside me. I need to taste you all over me."
Angel did as she asked and pounded into her harder and harder. He felt his cock slam into her womb again and again. Her words swirled around in his brain and shot straight to his balls. The jolt spread through his limbs, up his torso and his whole body contracted. With one final thrust he exploded and screamed her name over and over again as his body forced itself to plunge again and again to expel all of his cream before preparing to reload.
Angel was panting for no good reason and smiling for a very good one. He looked up and saw Cordy pretty much in the same shape as him. They locked gazes for a moment and grinned at each other warmly.
Cordy would have loved to fly off that chair, fling her arms around him and kiss him passionately. And, she very much would have loved to lay in bed next to him and feel his fingers run all over her adoringly. But the reality of the situation flooded back to her, and she felt the need to regain control of "her" night. This was still, after all, a bet and a competition.
She realized that she was still splayed wide open in front of Angel, and was instantly freaked by it. She pulled her legs down and got up from the chair scanning the room for her abandoned clothes.
"Wow! That was pretty good. It was almost a tie, but I definitely came first, so you win." She found her underwear and was somewhat nervously redressing.
"Yeah, that was more than good. Really good. And, thanks for the award...I guess." Angel was disappointed and he wasn't sure why. It was fantastic. Better than most of the touching sex he'd ever had. But now she was getting dressed, and he didn't want her to. He was about to try to stop her when the voice of reason yelled.
**What are you? Retarded? Don't beg her to stay. Remember the stakes here. No falling in love and no signs of weakness.**
I know. I just want...more.
**Yeah, now you know how the backseat feels. You hear the tiny violins?**
Cordy had just slipped her skirt on and was about to put on her blouse when Angel realized how naked he still was. He got up and slipped on his boxers before she turned around and walked toward him.
"Could you zip up my blouse for me?" Man this is hard. Being all cool and collected like I do this kind of stuff every day. But, hot damn, it is so worth it. I'm still tingling.
Angel zipped her and let his fingers graze down her bare arms as he said, "There ya go. All done." He once again felt her shiver from his touch and his loins came alive again.
She turned and looked up at him and smiled. She reached up and kissed him gently on the lips and then turned to leave. When she got to the door, she swirled around and said, "Thanks, Angel. Let me know what you want to do tomorrow. I mean, what time, where, any props I might need to shop for." She winked and was gone.
She walked down the hall and stopped at the top of the staircase. Her body drooped and leaned against the wall. Damn! I am in some deep shit here. And we haven't even done it yet. Oh, well, maybe the real thing won't be as good as that was. She took a deep breath and went home to take a hot bath and probably masturbate several times.
Angel stared at the closed door and felt his arousal tugging to peek through the top of his boxers. Why did she have to mention props? How am I going to top that? He headed for the shower and a quick round of spank the monkey.
**See, I said you'd end up jerking off.**
"Yeah, but I didn't lose."
**You lost before you even started, dickhead.**
Chapter 3 |