Chapter 6
“Angel, what are you doing?”
“I… I’m going on the bumper car ride.” Angel stalled his descent into Cordelia’s little car.
“I said boys against girls. Get your own.” Cordelia huffed and pushed on the gas. The little red car moved away from the vampire. Angel stared. He didn’t want to get in a little car, not alone. He saw the ride, couples were jerked and pressed together in the tiny cars. He wanted to get into the little red car that was getting further away.
“Angel, hurry up or you’ll miss your turn.” Wesley and Gunn jumped in the next two available cars, each of their little vehicles heading in the direction of the waving physicist in the yellow car.
Angel growled and pushed the man that had cut in front of him and jumped into the little black car. He pushed the gas heading towards the red car that had left him.
Angel was almost there when the red car shot off slamming into Wesley’s blue car. A loud cheer arose from Cordelia as she lightly bounced back and Wesley went skidding across the rink.
Fred laughed as she turned her car into Gunn’s. “Oh.’ She said as his car pushed her across the floor.
“Push the gas.” Cordy yelled to Fred as she straightened her little car towards Wesley again for another go.
“Gas, right. It has been so long since I’ve driven, but gas, okay.” Fred pushed down on a pedal. She squealed to a sudden stop.
“The other one.” Cordelia yelled. “Ow.” Her car skidded as a little green car bounced into her.
“The other one. Right. One brake, one gas. Left. Right. I’ve got it.” Fred yelled as her little yellow car swirled away from Gunn’s approach. “Sort of.” She mumbled as her car turned in 360 degrees. Steering wheel. Brake, Gas, and Steering Wheel. She got it now. Fred straightened the little car and gunned for Gunn. Giggles erupted from her lips as she realized her dump pun.
“Whoops.” Fred looked around as she was again spun across the rink. Wesley. How could she’ve forgotten about Wesley? Okay. It really all clicked now. Fred hovered in her spot quickly computing the vectors and the speed needed to make the most Bang. She shifted and slammed on the gas going at a 45-degree angle. Wesley didn’t have a chance. He went spiraling in tailspins across the track. Fred giggled. This was fun. She straightened her car, computed, and targeted Gunn.
“Yeah, Fred..Whoops.” Cordelia spun in her car. She scowled at the grinning driver in the same green vehicle that had sideswiped her earlier. Cordelia was about to yell something, when he disappeared or rather was bumped to the other side of the rink.
Angel grinned happily and waved to Cordelia. He turned his black little car quickly as another car came near Cordy’s. He jammed into it sending it flying. Just as soon as he finished with that one, he went for another car that was heading for Cordelia.
Cordelia sat in her car not moving. She scowled. There was no reason to move. Angel in his little miniature black convertible had managed to bang, bump and she could swear, growl all of the other cars away from her. This was not fun. Wesley and Gunn wouldn’t even get near. They were having too much fun banging and getting banged by Fred.
Cordelia scrunched her face. That didn’t sound right. Whatever. She got out of her car. She stood in the middle of the rink, ignoring the yells of the attendant to get back into her car. Danger? What Danger?
Cordelia didn't even pause as a green little car made a brave attempt her way or was it suicidal. She didn’t stop. Why should she? The conductor yelled frantically. Cordelia rolled her eyes and kept walking. She shook her head as the oh so dangerous green little car went flying across the rink away from her.
She glared at the black little car that had slowed down to escort her out of the rink. “Cordy, why are you leaving? This is fun.”
Cordelia stared at the vampire looking up at her in his little lethal black car. Cordelia really wanted to yell, but Angel had such a cute, clueless smile on his face. It was his puppy dogface. It was the only face that she wasn’t able to resist. Cordelia shook her head. “Give me a ride.” She pointed across the ten feet that separated her from the exit.
Angel really smiled. Damn. Cordelia wished he wouldn’t do that. It melted her stomach. She grumbled trying to recapture her anger at Angel for ruining her fun at bumper cars. Really what fun were bumper cars if no cars were allowed near to bump with.
“You didn’t have fun. I had fun.” Angel’s smile got bigger as she climbed into the passenger side of the little car.
Cordelia slumped down in the seat. “Oh, Angel.” She shook her head.
Angel jerked the car to a stop. Oh. That meant something. He just couldn’t remember what. He quickly drew Cordelia out of the car and placed her on the platform over the fence. He barely acknowledged the conductor yelling at his seer. He turned and pulled out Bob’s article.
OH:
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If she says Oh before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is Fine when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. Oh as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows Go ahead followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
Angel shoved the paper back into his pocket. That wasn’t applicable. Or at least he didn’t think it was. Cordelia had said oh. But she had said oh, Angel. That wasn’t a statement and he had nothing to lie about. He hadn’t done anything. What did it mean?
It was going to plague him. Angel had to know. He turned and then growled. Who the hell did that guy think he was yelling at Cordelia? And she was taking it? Angel moved quickly towards the attendant.
“Angel, what in the hell to you think you’re going to do?” Cordelia jumped in his path.
“Cordy, he has no right to yell at you.”
Cordelia stared at the vampire a minute then turned towards the pale attendant. “Go away. Don’t worry. We won’t be back. Now shoo.”
The young man grunted once to show his seriousness, but left very happy that he didn't have to face the guy in black.
Cordelia swung back around to Angel. “You, come with me.” She tugged Angel off the line platform to an empty spot in the causeway.
“Um, Cordy. Why are you mad? You didn’t have fun?”
Cordelia blinked. “Uh, NO.”
“But.”
“Angel, the idea of bumper cars is to be BUMPED and to BUMP back.How can I have fun, if you don’t let anyone near me to BUMP.”
Angel turned back to the rink. The little colorful cars were spinning and bumping into each other. The drivers were laughing and shouting to each other. It looked like a big cartoon traffic jam.
“I…” Angel shifted from one foot to another. This would probably be a good time to lie, except Angel had lost all ability to lie convincingly to Cordelia. If he tried, she would just get madder. But the truth was going to make her mad too. “I thought…you could've gotten hurt.”
Cordelia closed her eyes taking deep breaths trying to calm down. Finally, she was able to speak. “Angel, I don’t need protecting from a bunch of kids in little toy cars trying to have fun. Half of those dangerous drivers that you catapulted into space were under the age of twelve."
“Some of those kid hit hard. You could’ve…”
“Angel.” Cordelia stopped and tried to start again. “Angel, you know that I'm serious about learning how to fight, don’t you? Don’t you?”
Angel had no clue how they switched from bumper cars to their training sessions. “Yes.” He said, trying to figure out where Cordelia was heading.
“And you realize that I’m learning to fight, so I can fight, don’t you? Fight demons and other bad guys.”
“I…” Angel paused. He knew where this conversation was going and he didn’t like it.
“That’s right Angel. I’m not spending two hours a day getting sweaty and achy for the exercise. And I expect that you will let me fight, not waste time protecting me.”
“Protecting you IS NOT a waste of time.” Side stepping the issue of whether Angel would ever allow Cordelia to actually use the skills he was teaching her outside of the basement. Avoidance was not lying, it was just avoiding having to lie.
“It is when I don’t need it or when it takes your attention away from saving the real victim. So. No more unneeded, unasked for protection. Got it.” Cordelia shook her head a walked away.
“Protecting you is not a waste of time.” Angel said quietly as he followed. He was not looking forward to the fallout that was going to occur when Cordelia deemed herself ready to be on the frontlines of their battles - sword in hand.
Chapter 7
“Angel, Cordy.” Fred came running up breathless. “Wesley and Gunn said that they’re going to win me a big stuff bear. Do you want to come? Come on. Angel you can win something for Cordy. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
“Um, Fred. I’m sure that Cordy and Angel don’t want to play silly games.” Wesley said. “Go do whatever you were planning to do. We’ll meet you later.” He waved Cordelia and Angel in the other direction.
“We weren’t planning to do anything. I don’t know what we can do that won’t set Angel off into Dorkzone.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“No you didn’t.”
Angel scowled. He could have sworn he apologized. Then again, maybe he just assumed he had since he seemed to be always apologizing to his seer for something or another.
“I’m sorry that I ruined your fun at the Bumper cars.”
“And.”
“The next time, I’ll let the cars hit you?”
“No, stupid. What about the portrait?”
“I’m not sorry about that- the guy wasn’t any good.”
“Hmmph.”
“Yeah, We’ll just meet you later.” Gunn said meeting Wesley’s eyes. They had to get Fred away from Angel and Cordelia before it was too late.
“Why don’t you want Angel and Cordy to go with us?” Fred’s brows shot up.
Too late. Both Wesley and Gunn squirmed.
“Yeah, why not?” Both Angel and Cordelia said.
“Just didn’t think you wanted to go that’s all.” Gunn looked at his feet.
“Hmmph.”
“Cordy, do want a stuffed bear? I could win you one. How about that one.” Angel pointed to a five foot pink fuzzy bear hanging from a booth.
“No.” Glancing at the booth.
“Aw, it’s cute.” Fred said.
“I could win it.” Angel said.
“Of course you could- all you would have to do is use your vamp strength to hit the weight up to the bell. Woo Woo big challenge there. Geez, Angel you’re stronger than anyone out here.”
“That’s not my fault.”
“Come on, let’s go find something with some challenge. Then you can try to win me a prize or maybe I’ll win you one.”
Angel didn’t see why him being a vampire should disqualify him from winning Cordy the big bear. But at least she didn’t seem to be mad at him anymore. He trailed after his seer.
“Fred, you like the pink bear?” Wesley studied the booth and the people trying to win it.
Fred nodded.
Wesley nudged at his friend. “One of should be able to win.”
“One pink bear coming up.” The men moved together determined to bang the hell out of the weight and win the prize for Fred.
Chapter 8
“How about this one.” Angel pointed to a stuffed Panda. It wasn’t as big as the pink bear, but it was pretty big.
Cordelia shook her head.
“Why not?”
“Darts, Angel? Isn’t that just too much like tossing pointy weapons. When’s the last time you missed. Hmm?”
“Cordy, that’s not fair. Being able to aim has nothing to do with being a vampire.”
“No.” Cordelia moved from the row of booths into the arcade. “There.”
“Those are puny.”
“They’re cute. And you being a vampire won’t help you at all. Do you have enough quarters?”
Angel looked into the glass box filled with small animals. “Cordy, don’t you want a big one?”
“Nope. I like the white kitty.” She pointed to the squishy small kitten with a rhinestone collar.
Angel grumbled. “Some challenge.” He fed the coin into the slot and grabbed at the steel claws control. Damn. Angel put another quarter into the machine, then another and another. Angel growled as the claw kept picking up and dropping every prize except the kitten. “More.” Angel shoved some bills at Cordy.
Cordelia started to giggle at the frustration growing on Angel’s face. She went to the change machine and came back with more coins.
“Angel you going to do it.” Cordelia pointed to the blue cow being towed up towards the hole in the glass.
“Angel?” She watched the vampire release the control and let the cow fall. He put another coin into the slot.
“Not the cat.”
“But.”
“Shh.” Angel concentrated on trying to capture the stuffed kitten again. His frustration turning into low growls as his grip whitened around the control stick and more quarters went into the machine. He forced more bills at Cordelia with a low grunt.
Cordelia looked at the bills in amazement. “Angel, this is twenty dollars, you already wasted…”
“More.” Angel stared at the kitten. He could’ve sworn it smirked at him. Angel was going to get that feline for Cordelia if he had to spend the last quarter on the earth or until his patience broke and his fist went through the glass. It was a close call.
“Come on, kitty, here kitty, kitty. Ah Ha. Gotcha, thought you could laugh at me did you. Ha.” Angel slowly moved the control stick, the white kitten dangling from the steel claw.
“Angel…” Cordelia amazement turned back into giggles. Angel was talking to the stuff animal. He was such a cute dork.
“Shh. Come here kitty, that’s my kitty. Upsy daisy. Gotcha. You’re mine now.” Angel gave a triumphant laugh as the kitten came tumbling down the hole into his hands. He brought the small stuff animal up proudly. “I got it.”
“I see.” Cordelia beamed at the smile on Angel’s face.
“I didn’t even break the glass.”
“No. Were you planning to?”
Angel’s eyes shifted momentarily. “Maybe.”
Cordelia laughed.
Angel smiled again. “Here. It’s not very big though.” Angel gently handed the small furry animal to Cordelia.
“It’s cute and you won it for me, spending tons of quarters and not breaking the glass. It’s perfect. Thank you.” Cordelia leaned up and kissed Angel on the cheek.
Angel shuffled. “Do you want another one? How about the cow? Or the ion, it’s a cat. Or the puppy, the puppy’s cute.”
Cordelia shook her head smiling. “Kitty here is enough. Come on, let’s find the others.” Grabbing his hand.
Angel frowned. He had fun. Well spending the money and standing immobile controlling a rigged metal claw wasn’t fun, but Cordelia’s giggles, smiles and her kiss had been fun. Angel wanted to win her another stuffed animal.
Chapter 9
“Wow. Look at Fred.” Cordelia laughed. Fred was walking towards them, her arms filled with the huge pink bear and the big panda.
Angel scowled and looked at the puny kitten in Cordy’s hand. “I could have gotten those for you.”
“I love my kitty.” Cordy released Angel’s hand that she had still been holding and gave the vampire a reassuring hug. Angel stilled as Cordelia’s body pressed into his. Her warmth encircled him. Without a thought, Angel pulled her closer, his face brushing against her hair. “I wanted to give you the biggest.”
“Pooh, who needs the biggest when I got the best.” Squeezing tighter then letting go.
Angel’s hand moved slower, not ready yet to release her.
“Hey, ya look what Wesley and Gunn won for me.” Fred bounded up.
Angel moved further away from Cordelia, but one hand still rested lightly on her back.
“Who rang the bell?” Cordelia asked.
“That would be me.” Gunn pointed to his chest.
“I won at the darts.” Wesley looked at the two bears again. Damn. Darts took more skill than brute strength. His really should have been the bigger bear.
“Angel gave me this.” Cordelia said proudly. “Isn’t she precious? Kitty is squishy and has taste.” Cordelia plucked at the gleaming rhinestones around the kitten’s neck. “She’s going too be much more comfortable to sleep with than those- not that those aren’t nice.” Cordelia’s tone clearly indicated their inferiority.
“Cordy, you’re going to sleep with it?”
“Of course. Squishy.” Cordelia hugged at the small animal, smiling at the vampire.
Angel considered looking again at the two big bears. Not special, definitely not precious, just big. Kitty was squishy. Obviously the best. “I won it.” He was proud again.
“She’s adorable. Can I hold her?” Fred shoved the bears at Gunn and Wesley.
Cordelia scrunched up her face. “Okay, but only for a minute.”
“She is squishy. Aww. And look at this cute collar.”
“I told you.” Cordelia held out her hand to take the kitten back.
“Fred it’s pink and big.” Gunn held up the bear he won for her.
“And look at how cute the panda is.” Wesley pushed his bear in front of the pink one.
“But not squishy.” Angel said.
Wesley and Gunn’s eyes narrowed at Angel’s condescending tone. Angel ignored them. It served them right for not telling him about Bob’s article earlier.
“Okay, where next?” The stuff kitten was safely back in Cordelia’s arms.
“The Rocket was fun.” Angel remembered how Cordelia had clutched on to him as they plunged down at an unnatural speed.
“So were the bumper cars.”
“No.” Cordelia shook her head. “Those jr. Rusty Wallace wanta-bes can be vicious.”
Angel shot a look at Cordelia. She wasn’t scowling, raising her brows or anything. Angel’s eyes widened. Cordelia just winked at him. He smiled. Cordelia giggled.
Wesley, Gunn just stared. Fred leaned into Wesley. “Kyerumption.” She nodded knowingly.
Angel heard Fred. But this time he didn’t yell at her to stop saying it. This time he didn’t mind. His hand slowly reached out. Cordelia’s fingers automatically entwined his. Angel smiled more. Cordelia had been right. Carnivals could be fun.
The group slowed then stopped in front of the attraction directly before them. Each of them looked at the sign then at each other. Their heads all shook and they moved on without looking again at the invitation to enter the ‘Haunted House’.
“How about that one?” Fred pointed at swirling ride ahead.
“I’m on it.” Gunn said.
“If you want to.” Wesley wasn’t about to miss out by commenting that the ride didn’t look much safer than the Rocket.
Angel studied the ride. It was a large disc, people were standing straight up strapped individually along its side. The disc rotated, moving up and down. There was no way that you could touch the person next to you. “I don’t want to.”
“Angel. It could be fun. Those people look like they’re having fun.” Fred pointed.
Angel turned towards Cordelia. The young woman hadn’t said anything. “Cordy?”
Cordelia tore her gaze away from the ride. “I’m with Angel. I don’t like the looks of it. But you kids go have fun. We’ll…”
“Go there.” Angel pointed. That looked fun.
Cordelia glanced to the ride that Angel was pointing to. “We’ll be on the Ferris Wheel.” She smiled.
“Ooohh. A Ferris wheel, I want to go on that.” Fred jumped up and down.
Wesley and Gunn stared at the ride then each other. The ride was another two seater.
“Flip a coin?” Wesley pulled out a quarter.
“Heads.” Gunn said.
The two men watched the coin spin in the air and fall to the ground. Tails.
“Two out of three, man.”
“It was a fair toss.”
“Come on. Two out of three.”
Wesley picked up the coin. Again they watched as the coin twirled and landed. Heads.
“Okay, but no four out of fives.”
“Just do it. No wait, let me.”
“Really, Charles.”
“Hand it over, English.”
Gunn rubbed the coin and threw it up in the air. “ Ha. Heads. I win.”
Gunn looked around for Fred. Fred was gone.
“There.” Wesley pointed to the Ferris wheel. Fred was barely visible sitting alone between two large stuffed bears.
“Hey, wait.” Gunn rushed to get to the ride.
Fred waved to the two men on the ground as she started to move upwards.
“Two out of three.” Wesley shook his head in disgust.
Chapter 10
Cordelia moved forward making the small cart swing back and forth. She smiled at Angel. “Isn’t it beautiful up here. It’s higher than the roof of the Hyperion. You can see everything.”
“Beautiful.” Angel smiled at his seer. She really was beautiful. “Um, Cordy, don’t lean so much.” Angel cleared his throat. Cordelia kept hanging over the edge of the cart. She could fall.
“I’m…” Cordelia was about to say she was fine. But Angel was getting that weird protective look and she didn’t want to argue with him. She settled next to Angel, her hand reaching for Angel’s. “So. Are you having fun?”
Angel glanced down at the small hand holding his larger one then up to Cordelia. “Yes.”
“Mmm.” Cordelia sighed. “I told you so.”
Warmth flowed through Angel’s body as he heard her small sigh. Cordelia was content. Bob’s article said that in that situation the best thing to do was not move.
“You cold?” Angel frowned at Cordelia’s slight shiver.
“A little, it’s chilly up here.”
Angel brought his arm around Cordelia, tucking her in the crook of his arm, pulling his jacket part way around. “Better?”
Another small sound escaped Cordelia’s lips as she snuggled closer hugging her stuffed animal to her chest.
Angel smiled softly and stared out as the world slowly went up and down as the Ferris turned in it’s slow circular path, the sounds of the carnival faded leaving nothing but Cordelia’s small breaths and steady heartbeat. This was more than fun. Angel felt like he was on top of the world.
Warmth and peace radiated into him from the young woman pressed close. He tightened his hold on Cordelia.
“Hey don’t mush Kitty.” But Cordelia didn’t move away, her voice barely a whisper.
“Of course.” Angel pulled the squished animal out between their bodies and placed it safely on his lap.
The silence of contentment came again and remained between them as the ride came to an end.
“That was too quick.” Cordelia’s tone was wistful.
Angel nodded in complete agreement. “Again.” He shoved some cash at the young attendant that came to unlock their cart.
The young man rolled his eyes but took the money. He was going to make a killing tonight. The leather-coated guy hadn’t been the only one that had paid to keep their date on the Ferris wheel. And the kid couldn’t blame this guy, the chick was a babe.
The attendant counted the extra money Angel had given him. Wow. The guy just bought as many turns as he wanted. That guy definitely wanted to get lucky tonight. Well, for that price the kid would help him out. There was nothing like stopping the wheel at the very top for a good while. It never failed.
***
“Hey, Angel and Cordy didn’t get off.” Gunn pointed as the Ferris wheel started up again.
“You can see everything from up there. It’s so fun. Wow. Angel must have liked it. He’s having fun. I’ll bet he’s glad he changed his mind.” Fred said.
“It seems so.” Wesley contemplated the ride, trying to keep track of the cart that held Angel and Cordelia. Wesley just hoped that Angel wouldn’t screw it up. If he misread Cordy just once up there, things could go bad.
“Hey, Fred do you want to go again. I’ll go.”
Wesley shot Gunn a dirty look. “Or maybe you’re hungry. All you’ve had was some cotton candy? Maybe we can find some tacos.”
Fred considered. “Do you think they have corn dogs?”
“No tacos?”
Fred shook her head. “I had corn dogs when I was a kid at the fair.”
“Corn dogs it is then. Let’s go looking for the dogs on the stick. We’ll catch up with Angel and Cordy later.”
Chapter 11
“Angel? You gave him money, real money?” Arching her brow as the young attendant scurried off without letting them out.
“It’s fun. You didn’t want to get off. Did you? You’re not too cold?”
“No. Where’s my cheapsake?” Curiosity and surprise apparent on her face.
“I’m not a cheapsake, I just know a value of a dollar. I don’t waste it on frivolous things. “
“Uhuh.” The elegant brow arched again, this time at the stuff kitten cuddled between them.
Angel noticed her look and squirmed. “It’s squishy.”
“Therefore not frivolous, I understand.” A small smile played over her lips.
Angel shrugged. “You wanted it.”
“Oh.” Her small smile became wide as she settled back into his side. “Um. Angel.”
“Yes.”
“I want a car.”
She couldn’t be serious. Angel looked down. Cordy would probably want a really expensive one. “Cordy…” He stopped as Cordelia’s eyes twinkled in undisguised humor. “Maybe there’s a used bumper car we could pick up.” He finished.
“You were actually considering it.” Cordelia laughed.
“I was not.”
“Were to. What a Goof.”
“Is that better than a dork?”
“Marginally. Angel.” Cordelia said suddenly serious.
Questioningly, Angel looked down.
“Thank you for coming to the carnival, for kitty, for this.” Pointing out to the ever-circling horizon.
His chest constricted as her gaze locked on to his. Angel was forced to expel air that had somehow got trapped in his throat at the warmth and sincerity that radiated from her eyes. Angel tried to respond, to say your welcome, but the beauty of her smile stole his voice. He gulped, finally managing a small smile.
It seemed sufficient. Cordelia leaned back into Angel’s chest, giving off a content sigh.
Cordelia pressed her head against Angel’s chest. Angel couldn’t help ,it is hand automatically went to her hair his fingers brushing at the strands of silk.
“You’re so quiet and still, no breathing, no heart beating, it’s creepy.”
Angel’s fingers stopped. He didn’t want to be creepy not with Cordelia. But she hadn’t sounded like she was creeped out. Her tone was soft. And her head was still lying on his chest.
“I’m dead.”
“I know, creepy. But weird.”
“Creepy and weird isn’t the same thing?”
“No, it’s weird how something creepy can be so comforting. I feel safe. Though, I guess I shouldn’t should I.”
“Cordelia, I’ll always keep you safe.”
“You’ll try. But you can’t guarantee it, no one can. And then there is the Angelus factor. Always got to be on guard for the evil one. But, still I feel safe. Weird, uh.”
Angel was happy. Cordelia was a realist, yet even knowing the inherent dangers in their fight for the powers and the possibility of Angelus, she still felt safe with him. She believed in him. Angel had been called many things over the centuries, comforting had never been one of them, but Cordelia was comforted by him.
It was amazing. She was amazing. No one had ever fought him or for him with such resolve. She tried daily to brighten his life with laughter and fun.
No one had ever cared so much for his well-being. Angel wanted to tell the young woman how happy she made him. But first, he had better clear up the Angelus issue. Cordelia was right in that he couldn’t guarantee her safety completely, though he would die trying. But, he could ease her mind over Angelus.
Angel just hoped that she wouldn’t classify it as lying. He hadn’t lied, he just hadn’t told. Maybe, she would see the distinction and not get mad. He hoped so because nothing had ever been as perfect as this slow ride. Angel hesitated
“Angel?”
“Mmuh.”
“You’re fidgeting.”
He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he would have to tell her eventually. It might as well be now when she was in a good mood and feeling charitable towards him. Angel gently pulled Cordelia away and took a deep breath. “My soul is permanent.”
Cordelia blinked, then shook her head slamming her jaw shut.
“Did you just say that your soul is permanent, as in no more Angelus?”
Angel was not at all comforted by the way she shot up out of his arms. “Well, no more soulless demon. I’m still dead and ‘creepy’.”
“How come I don’t know this?” Cordelia scooted away from Angel, her brows arched.
Angel started to fidget again. He really should have told her when he found out. He started to make a joke about her already knowing that he was dead and creepy, but her glare changed his mind. “I found out after my epiphany.”
“You got your soul bound because you had sex with…with what’s her name. No wonder you didn’t tell me.”
Angel’s fidgeting became more pronounced.
“Hey, don’t hurt Kitty.” Cordelia snatched the stuff animal from Angel’s twisting grip.
“Sorry.” He patted at the stuff animal until he realized that he was trying to soothe a toy.
Angel brought his hands back and shoved them into his coat pockets. “Darla didn’t bind my soul. I don’t know how or why exactly, but I do know it wasn’t because I had sex with her. Lorne’s not sure why, but he did confirm after a couple really bad versions of ‘Soul Man’.” Trying to bring humor to a conversation that was beginning to have the makings of a train wreck.
“Eww. I told you that I never wanted to hear her name again.”
“Sorry, and that’s why I didn’t tell you when I found out. It would’ve brought it all back up again. And things were going so well between us. We were friends again. That’s all.”
“That’s all? I’ve been calling you an eunuch because of the whole ‘can’t have sex or Angelus’ thing and you let me.” Cordelia felt like a fool.
“I told you I wasn’t a eunuch.”
“You didn’t tell me why.”
“I’ve never been a eunuch, Cordelia.” This fixation of Cordelia’s that he was a eunuch was really beginning to frustrate him.
“No, you haven’t have you?”
“Now, why are you mad? Why is so important that you think of me as a eunuch?”
Cordelia hugged at her chest and scooted as far away as the cart would allow, still glaring. Cordelia didn’t know who she was madder at Angel or herself or more importantly why she was so mad. No threat of Angelus was a good thing, not bad. Why did she wish that Angel hadn’t…no, she couldn’t wish that he never received a permanent soul, she just wished that Angel had never told her.
Why was it so important that Cordelia continue to think of Angel as a non-sexual person? Even after finding out about Darla and the furies, she still called him eunuch, still thought of him that way. And it had been easy, because of the then still real threat of Angelus.
Why, did she need to keep thinking it? Cordelia didn’t know or want to know for that matter.
“Why aren’t we moving?” Cordelia looked down from their high position. Great. They were stuck on the Ferris wheel. Cordelia really wanted to leave now.
“Cordelia answer my question.”
“No.” Cordelia shook her head and tightened her arms around her.
“Cordelia.”
“I can’t. …I don’t know, okay. I just don’t have an answer.” Cordelia finally spit out at Angel’s relentless gaze. Angel stared at the defensive posture of his seer.
“You’re scared.” Now Angel’s frustration turned to confusion. Maybe mad he could’ve understood but frightened- frightened of what? It didn’t make sense. Angel wanted to pull out Bob’s list, but he was pretty sure that this situation was not covered in it.
When he finally got back to the hotel, Angel was going to search, seek, and retrieve every article written by the man.
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are. Why? You can’t be scared of me you just said I made you feel safe, didn’t you mean it? You know I would never hurt you.”
“Sure, you would never hurt me. You couldn’t, when you were a Eunuch.” Cordelia grumbled and stared out into the horizon.
“Cordelia, I was never a ….”
“NEVER an Eunuch. I GOT IT.” Jerking back to glare at the vampire. “WHY is this damn ride not moving.” Cordelia felt trapped. She had to get away from Angel.
“Cordy?”
“I got it, okay. I’ll never call you a eunuch again. Okay. Now shut up and leave me alone and make this damn thing start.”
“Cordy you’re not making any sense.”
The angry frustrated sigh that escaped Cordelia’s lips sounded like a growl. “ Look, I got it. You’re not a eunuch never were. But you were to me. A nice safe brave dorky dead cute sexy eunuch.”
Sexy? Did Cordelia just say he was sexy?
The silence that suddenly came over the cart was not the same easy silence of before, this silence was deafening in its tension. Angel and Cordelia just gapped at each other.
“Why won’t this DAMN thing MOVE?” Cordelia ripped her eyes away. Cordelia was mortified and really frightened. She couldn’t believe that she had actually said Angel was sexy. Of course, Angel was hot; she had even told him he was handsome before, but not like that, not like his hotness affected her.
She was supposed to be immune. Immune, because she made herself immune, by convincing herself that Angel was non-sexual. Even when evidence to the contrary proved otherwise.
A non-sexual sexy vampire- how delusional could she be. Cordelia began to fidget, now that that illusion was busted, she would have no choice but to deal with the fact that Angel was an extremely sexy vampire, one that had every ability to affect her.
No more close quarter training sessions that was for sure, at least not until she could get rid of the imagine of a sexy, sexual Angel.
“Cordy, you’re attracted to me?” The unbelievable thought had taken over his brain as he studied her movements, expressions and scent.
“Am not.” Cordelia shook her head and tried to move further away.
Angel was stunned. It never occurred to him that Cordelia would be attracted to him, she never gave any indication that she was. Never. Until now. And that knowledge was playing havoc with his own desires- desires that suddenly sprang out of nowhere. Angel tried to think. His desires didn’t just pop up whenever he was around a woman that was attracted to him, they didn’t.
That is unless he was attracted to the woman in the first place. But he was always able to control his attraction, ignore it even. This sudden forceful burst of lust, there was no over word to describe the feeling was unprecedented. Unless…unless, it wasn’t sudden.
Angel studied the beautiful woman. He thought back to his interaction with his seer over the past several years. When Cordelia first came to work with him, she had been a firm believer in ‘personal space’. Which Angel had been grateful for as he had the same belief. But over the years, especially recently both of them had begun to ignore or not need the personal bubble rule at least not with each other.
It may have begun out of necessity, Angel was the only one that had a chance of catching Cordelia from falling when a vision hit. She was the one that assumed the role of nurse when he was injured. But it was more than that now. Even before the
training sessions.
How many times a day had Angel found himself reaching out to Cordelia to touch her when they talked. How many times had she placed her hand on his arm, his shoulder? How many times had he needed to feel her warmth? In a roomful of his friends, Cordelia was the one he automatically went to sit or stand by.
Angel had never tried to analyze why the touch of his seer was so important to him, why it seemed so natural. But it was and the reason why was now obvious. His definite physical reaction to seeing Cordelia in slip of a bathing suit should have clued him in. But he hadn’t had time to think about it, with the demon to fight, trying to apologize to Cordy for embarrassing her at the commercial shoot,and then there was the whole Plyean jaunt, plus Buffy’s death and resurrection.
How long would he have been able to continue denying his attraction to the young woman? How long would he have been able to convince himself that he sketched erotic portraits of Cordelia just because she was an easy beautiful model to draw? Angel didn’t know, he just knew it was going to be very difficult to ignore it now.
Okay. One mystery solved, now he had to know why Cordelia was frightened. Angel was surprised and overwhelmed, but not frightened- so why was Cordelia? Unless. The beginnings of a suspicion came over him. Now he was getting uneasy.
“You are scared. Is it because I’m a vampire, there is no more threat of Angelus, so is it just because I’m a demon?” Angel really wasn’t at all sure that he wanted to hear Cordelia’s answer. But he had to know.
Cordelia hid her face in her hands. She couldn’t look at Angel anymore. It would be so easy just to say yes and end this all now. But, Angel had that puppy dogface on again. And she knew if she uttered that lie, his expression would go from cluelessness to hurt and sad resignation. Cordelia couldn’t do that to him.
“Don’t be stupid, I’m not scared of you.”
Angel had to lean in to interpret her low mumbled words. “Then..” He was relieved but now he was back to having no idea why she was scared.
Cordelia took a deep breath and decided on blunt honesty. It was always what she did best and she couldn’t stand the way Angel was staring at her. “I can’t be attracted to you, I don’t want to be attracted to you, and I’ve spent the better time knowing you keeping you safe in the no-boner category. I’m scared because having you out of that box is dangerous to me, not because you’re a ‘grr’ guy because of who you are and who I am.”
Angel remained silent trying to understand what she was saying. Cordelia had placed him in a ‘no-boner’ category. Angel thought about it. It did kind of make sense. After all, he had obviously placed her in the same box.
She was his friend, his very beautiful, loving best friend he hadn’t ever wanted to mess that up by thinking of her as anything else. So, he had blocked out all and any of his male reaction to the physical attributes of his seer and just concentrated on everything else.
Again the bathing suit incident being an exception, but he had been surprised and then been able to forget about the marvelous sight with everything else that had been happening at the time. Sort of. Obviously, some part of him remembered or he wouldn’t have started drawing erotic pictures of his seer. Angel decided he was just going to have to get rid of all those pictures.
That was something he probably shouldn’t be reminded of.
“Because we’re best friends?”
Cordelia nodded and decided to leave it at that. She groaned as Angel continued to speak. Why wouldn’t he just leave it alone?
“I understand that. You don’t want our friendship complicated by our attraction to each other but…”
“OUR attraction? YOU’RE attracted to ME?”
Angel stopped. Hadn’t he said that already? Or had he just only admitted that to himself. Considering the stunned look on Cordelia’s face, it must have been the latter. “Yes.”
“No you’re not.” Cordelia frantically shook her head.
Angel nodded. “But that doesn’t have to affect anything. We’re friends, best friends. It doesn’t have to be scary and isn’t dangerous. Now you’re being melodramatic. I’m not dangerous to you.”
“Oh god, you’re SO dangerous to me.” Cordelia hid her face again.
“Cordy.” Angel was hurt. “You can’t believe that I would ever force my desires on you. Sure, I’m a vampire, but I have better control over my instincts than that. I have my soul, I would…”
“Desire? Instincts? ” Cordelia squeaked. “Oh god.” She buried her head further into her hands.
“Cordy…I wouldn’t….”
This had to stop. Cordelia lifted her head. “Angel, I…I’m not scared of you, okay. I don’t think you’re going to vamp out and ravish me….” Her words trailed off as she considered the possibility. She fidgeted trying to get her mind away from the image of Angel ravishing her. God, for three years she had successfully been able to block any thoughts of Angel as a man, a man she could be attracted to.
Angel, sex, Angelus equals bad. It hadn’t been that hard. Even when, it became clear that sex alone wouldn’t trigger Angelus. But it had happened once and that had been enough for Cordelia.
But now it was like a floodgate had burst open, and every thought that she hadn’t had about Angel’s sexuality bombarded her.
Angel was listening intently until her last words and saw her actions and smelled her growing desire. He gulped. Up until then, Angel was confident that he would never vamp out and ravish her, but it was getting very difficult to ignore his demon’s inherent instinct to take what it wanted. And right now, soul or not, Angel wanted Cordelia.
“Cordy?” Angel tried to control the roughness of his voice. He had to get her talking and away from whatever it was she was thinking. Whatever it was, it was affecting both of them. He was beginning to imagine it was the same think he was thinking and wanting
“Um.” Cordelia shook her head focusing on what she had been trying to say. “You’re dangerous because you’re my best friend, you’re brave, good, wonderful, sexy and you’re goofy enough not to be overwhelmingly perfect. I need you and love you, all of which means I can fall in love with you. Pfft, probably I’m already there. Which is dangerous to me, cuz even though you’re attracted to me, you love Buffy and I will NOT be attracted to or in love with someone that loves someone else. I won’t.”
Angel gulped. His mind had been effectively wiped of all imagines of ravishing Cordelia. It fact his mind was a complete blank. Angel would have remained sitting there his mouth gapping, if he hadn’t seen Cordelia wave the attendant to the cart. He hadn't noticed that the ride had stopped again, and now it was over.
Angel pulled Cordelia back in the seat and growled at the approaching kid. The kid immediately swiveled and headed in back to his controls.
“Angel. I want to get off now.”
Angel shook his head and kept a tight hold on her arm as the Ferris wheel started to move again.
Chapter 12
“They’re still on the ride?”
The attendant nodded. “Boy, that guy is slow. Usually, it only takes two or three turns for the girl to be all over the guy. Probably should have kept them up top for longer.” Watching Angel and Cordelia’s cart get higher.
“What are you talking about?”
“Action, man. Girls love it up there. It’s a sure thing.”
Wesley and Gunn stared at the attendant then up at the Ferris wheel.
“You don’t think…”
“They wouldn’t, they couldn’t? Angel’s definitely has feelings for Cordy, but he wouldn’t.”
“Sure, he would and so would she, it’s Moira.” Fred happily nibbled on her corn dog.
“Moira- what are you talking about, girl?”
“The undeniable physical attraction. It’s goes with Kyerumption. Angel and Cordelia got Kyerumption.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you, they definitely feel something more than friendship but there is no action going on up there.”
“There better not be, or we got a whole lot of Angelus shit to worry about.” Gunn said.
“Angelus?”
“Angel’s soulless…”
“I know who Angelus is. I read Angel’s file. But he’s gone.”
“Girl, you obliviously didn’t read the fine print.”
“Yes, I did, but I overheard Lorne and Angel. Angel’s soul was made permanent months ago.”
“What? Why didn’t he tell us.”
Fred shrugged. “Angel was worried about Cordy’s reaction about him and Darla. I know who she is, too. She’s an old vampire girlfriend of Angelus. Though, Cordy doesn’t have to worry about any old girlfriend. She and Angel have Kyerumption. I think it’s sweet that they want to stay up there. It’s romantic.” Fred took another bite of her corn dog.
“Angel’s soul is permanent?” Wesley gazed up at the ride. “Interesting, maybe they will finally admit their feelings for each other.”
“Fred, wanta take the next ride on the big wheel? I’m game.”
“I’m sure that it would not be a good thing for Fred to get on that ride after eating those corn dogs. Remember, Fred how you said that you got sick after eating the cotton candy and going on that ride when you were a kid. Shouldn’t take the chance. How about some more stuff animals?”
“A gold fish would be fun.”
Wesley smiled smugly at Gunn’s disappointed expression.
***
Cordelia gazed off into the ever-changing horizon. She really didn’t want to continue this truth bearing session with Angel. Enough embarrassing and dangerous truths had been revealed. Though, what more she could reveal, she didn’t know. Except that maybe she really wanted Angel to put his arm around her again.
Being in love with the vampire was so not smart.
Thoughts slowly started to return to Angel’s consciousness. The first and foremost being that Cordelia not only loved him but also was IN love him. He discounted the ‘probably’ in her earlier explanation. How? When? And why did that particular thought make him happier than he ever thought possible. Could it be that he was IN love with her too, not just that he loved her.
Yes. Angel smiled -that was it. Everything made sense now. The way he would get all stuttery and stupid around her, trying to please her all the time. His desperate need to always keep her safe. The warmth and contentment he felt every time she smiled at him. And then there was very real desire he finally allowed himself to acknowledge. Angel smiled. He was happy. He studied the tense young woman beside him.
Cordelia wasn’t.
“I’m not in love with Buffy. I haven’t been for a while. Probably even before I realized that I could go on living when I thought she had died.”
“You did feel guilty about it. You felt guilty because you love her.”
“I felt guilty because I had loved her and thought that I would always love her and thought I was betraying her not just because I could live without her, but because someone else had become more important to me than she was.”
“Angel?”
“Cordy, you have become the most important person in my life. Your life, your happiness, your safety are more important than anything, Buffy, my life, my fight for the powers. I love you and not just as a friend.”
“Don’t ever say that.” Cordelia glared at the vampire.
“I do love you.”
“Don’t you ever say anything is more important than your redemption and the mission. Don’t.” Cordelia pounded her small fist into his chest.
Angel captured her fist holding it close. “I won’t every say it again.” He wouldn’t if it upset Cordelia, he just would never stop knowing it or believing it. “Can I at least say that I’m in with love you?”
“You really do love me?” Cordelia’s fingers spread out along his chest, digging at the material of his shirt. Her face tilted upwards, her eyes pleading for reassurance.
Angel pulled her to him, his hands moving to cradle her face in his palms. He stared as Cordelia’s tongue nervously wetted her lips. He watched. Its movement fascinated him. He wanted to capture the darting pinkness.
Cordelia tensed then melted as Angel’s lips engulfed hers. She followed his lead, sucking, nipping and caressing, their lips moving together gathering strength and force.
Cordelia’s hands tentatively started to glide up his sweater becoming more confident as Angel’s lips became persistent. A dull ache was expanding in her belly, making her feel empty needing something to fill it. Instinctively she knew that she only chance she had of curing the ache was in the hands of the vampire that had caused it. Cordelia reached around his neck, finally finding rest in his hair, pulling him closer.
It wasn’t helping. Angel was still too far away. The ache was just growing. Cordelia wiggled trying to move her hips and legs to allow Angel to press in even further. Angel turned to the side, his hands on her hip straddling her over his thigh. He cupped her buttocks molding and caressing, his lips never leaving her mouth.
Cordelia sighed into his movements, the emptiness was filling, but the ache wasn’t going away. Rather it was turning into a desperate need, it was if her all body and an itch that had to be scratched or she would go crazy.
Cordelia squirmed trying to find relief, bringing her hands down reaching under his coat, her fingers clutching and pressing at the fabric of Angel’s shirt. Angel brought his hands to the small of her back holding her against his body.
Cordelia leaned back her head. Angel’s lips caressing her cheek settling into nuzzle and lick at her neck. A moan almost a growl ventured from his throat as his hands moved under Cordelia’s blouse as his teeth tugged at it’s neckline.
Cordelia jerked as Angel’s hands found her flesh. His hands roamed and moved, fondling at her stomach caressing up to the lace of her bra. She moved instantly back pressing her flesh into his touches. It was the only way Cordelia knew to satisfy the ever-changing ache and need. Her own hands found their way under his sweater.
Angel’s touch became insistent as her own traveled up and down bringing heat to cool flesh of his back. Cordelia’s shirt and bra was pushed up as Angel’s lips engulfed a nipple.
Cordelia’s hands stilled. Desire. It was desire pure and simple. Or rather not that simple, Cordelia never felt such overwhelming sensations take over her body. She tried to think, tried to restrain it. She was getting frightened of her mind’s inability to control her body’s actions. Her body was ignoring her frantic thoughts to slow down, to pause and give her time to think.
Of its own volition, her upper body moved slightly back giving Angel the room necessary to gain better access to her breast. Her grip on his shoulders became tight as his hands moved to the waistband of her pants. Cordelia clenched her eyes shut as the friction of the gentle insistent fingers rubbing against her panties ignited the ache in her belly into short bursts of electricity, each causing intense pleasure.
Cordelia softly gasped pressing against the stroking fingers. Her hips moved instinctively trying to emulate the rhythm, trying to keep the pleasure, trying to bring it to an end. Cordelia’s hands floundered, fluttering haphazardly against Angel’s shoulders. The bursts of pleasure were increasing in length and intensity. It was almost painful.
Her nerves were tittering on the edge. There was no way to end it but to let go, not to think, to give up the last bit of control over her body and actions. It scared the hell out of Cordelia. She tensed jerking away from Angel’s touch trying regaining some measure of power over her senses.
“Cordy.” Reaching automatically, Angel’s voice thick with desire.
“I...I can’t.”
Angel clenched his reaching hands and struggled to reign in his instincts. He had said that he had better control, that he wouldn’t force his desire on Cordelia. But that was before he actually tasted her, touched her, felt the heat of her moistness in his hand, felt the warmth of her touch over his skin.
It wasn’t Angelus he feared, but something worse- his own souled response to her. Angel forced his love to temper the violence that threatened at Cordelia’s rejection.
“I…I’m sorry..I.” Hiding her face.
“Cordy?” Angel gently lifted her chin. Tears clouded her eyes. “What is it?” No longer was Angel’s voice rough, just tender and questioning.
Cordelia closed her eyes and brought her hands up over her ears. She couldn’t look at him, didn’t want to hear his soft voice. It was so pathetic and embarrassing. All of it, her tears, her reaction. She wanted to just disappear.
Cordelia felt her hands being moved, heard his soft questions. Angel wouldn’t let her. She blinked away her tears, brushing at them. A harsh broken laugh escaped from her lips. “This is so stupid.”
“Stupid?”
“I want to, but I’m scared okay.” Wiping again at her tears.
“I won’t…”
“It’s not you okay, it’s me. I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve only been with one other person. And Wilson shouldn’t count, considering how that turned out, kind of turned me off on the whole sex thing. Sure, I kissed a lot in high school, but that’s not sex. And here you are all Mr. Vamp experience. What if I do something wrong. God, this is embarrassing. What if I can’t?” Covering her face again.
Angel was surprised. He had always assumed that Cordelia was experienced. She was always so confident in her sexuality. And she was never lacking for male attention that was until she started working with him. But, she dated a lot back in Sunnydale. And then there was Xander. He had just assumed. Which was very stupid of him.
Angel knew that Cordelia wasn’t the promiscuous type, no matter the comments the idiot Xander made about her before and after they broke up. Angel could kick himself, when was she suppose to have gained all this experience. She was only twenty years old. How could he have forgotten how young she was? And Wilson had been her first. Angel knew he should have killed the bastard.
“Don’t be scared or embarrassed. Please.” Angel brought her gently back into his arms.
“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one spilling your lack of sexual history.”
“That’s NOT embarrassing. And, you know about the furies. That’s embarrassing.”
“That’s just ewwy.”
“Yeah, that’s my recollection of the encounter too.”
“Sure it is.”
“No, really. I’d forgotten how cheesy they were.”
Cordelia giggled into his jacket.
“Come on the ride is almost over. We’ll go home. Oh, and Cordy there is no way you could ever do anything wrong.”
“Angel…”
“No. Believe me.”
Cordelia started to feel her breath shorten and heat pool in her belly at Angel’s intense stare and low voice. Angel loved her and wanted her. He looked like he would devour her right then and there. She was starting to believe him. May be she could do it.
Part 13 |