Title: Kaleidoscope
Author: WritingPathways
Posted:
Email
Rating: R for now?
Category:
Content: Mostly B/A at first but not for too long (sorry anyway), C/X but eventually C/A friendship and more.
Summary: Angel comes back from Hell, and things go AU pretty much from there.
Spoilers: for Buffy up to first episode of season 3, Anne. Also Buffy meets and starts dating Scott Hope. Pretty much will be an Alternate take on Season 3 Buffy, but I'll be picking and choosing things from canon to include with my own twist.:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes:
Thanks/Dedication:
Feedback:Please. And constructive critiques welcomed.
Prologue
Marilis stood in the shadows waiting and watching.
The girl known as the slayer stood in the center of the mansion having a silent conversation with herself. Marilis did not care about why the slayer was there, or why she delivered a trinket to the floor with shaky breath and then left without looking back. The girl was nobody to her but the foolish and childish heart who'd given her heart to a demon. And that love gifted the monster by freeing him of the soul.
The old gypsy's thin lips curved into a small smile, the vampire's freedom had been short and his own plot had been turned against him. He'd had his soul restored by a young witch moments before the slayer sent him into hell dimension where his soul would cause him more torment than the century he'd lived trapped with it on this earth. It gave Marilis pleasure to know, that a demon and a monster such as he lived with their curse tortured in hell. There was no more fitting end to a monster's life.
Her smile faded when a flash of white blinded her eyes. The sudden magical energy didn't shock her or surprise her, but she had hoped it would not come to pass. He belonged in hell, he belonged in endless torment. A form fell from the fissure opened in the air and plummeted to the hard floor of the mansion, almost in the exact spot the slayer had stood.
Marilis looked upon the naked figure in disgust and loathing, he was wet with sweat and he shook but she did not care why. He was a vampire. A monster.
And she hesitated to move.
Her husband stood behind her, his hand softly cupped her shoulder and squeezed. He said nothing to her, just told her in the motion and his loving touch that he understood her doubt but she must do what they'd came to do. Marilis closed her eyes and said a prayer to the slain daughter of the Kalderash clan and his most recent victim, Yana, as well. She prayed and hoped the clan's decision was the right one and stepped forward.
She would do has they wished. She motioned to husband and her brothers behind her with her hands. They moved forward to the monster and her heart skipped with fear, what if the seers had been wrong and he wasn't as weak as they'd expected? It was a futile fear, her mind knew, they'd been right about his return from hell, they were right about his physical state and they were right about what they the Kalderash must do.
Yet Marilis didn't breath until she met her husband's wise eyes, and saw that they had the chains around the demon's wrists and held him tight. She motioned with her hands again and her sisters stepped forward, lit the herbs and candles and handed her the runes. She tossed them to the ground and took the orb out of a pocket in her dress.
She let one more moment of doubt cross her mind, stated her distaste for what she was about to do the spirits above her, the ones that had set this decision in motion by bringing the vampire back. Then Marilis cleared her mind and did what had been decided.
She chanted, she evoked centuries old gypsy magic and she anchored the demon's soul. But Marilis wasn't done, she moved as close to the vampire as she could dare, watched as her husband and brothers twisted tighter on his chains and she ordered the creature to look her in the eyes.
He did.
She felt cold.
And she spat into his face. “Monster,” she said to him and watched his face. He was still slick with sweat but was shivering. She took pleasure in his pain and the confusion in his eyes.
“You see and hear me, I know you do vampire. You don't yet know that this is real. Or what is real. You won't know what is real and what is illusion for days and weeks to come. And I hope you never do but I am not naïve.
“There are plans for you monster, beyond the Kalderash's control. With that in mind a decision was made to anchor your soul. We cannot chance again that the curse will be broken by your own arrogance again. I do not understand these Power's interest in a monster like you but it is not my place to judge them.”
“But it is my place to curse you. And cursed you are monster! The choice to anchor your soul is not a gift, vampire. You are still a demon, still a killer, still a monster. The soul gives you only a taste of humanity but it does not gift you with humanity. You will forever crave blood, forever be a creature of violence. Your soul it makes you nothing special, nothing unique. All it makes you is neither demon or human. You don't belong. You are nothing. And shall always be in the eyes of the Kalderash. And in this way our vengeance is fixed to last and you shall remain always a monster.”
Marilis finished her words and then turned away from the monster. She joined her sisters in the shadows and waited again. This time for her husband and brothers to free the monster. Her duty was done and she would not look back. The soul was now anchored to the monster – he was forever cursed.
Part 1
Warm, Buffy thought, as Scott's lips pressed against his and she returned the kiss. This is warm and warm is nice she decided, and smiled as they pulled apart breaking the chaste kiss.
“So, that was the end of our third date,” Scott said, taking a half-step backward
Buffy smiled a bit wider. “Yep, three. Three dates have been had.”
“Which presents the question…” Scott trailed off. “Will their be…”
“A fourth?” she asked and then she nodded. “Four is a nice number.”
“It is.” Scott smiled. “This is good, and tomorrow is school.”
“Monday. First day of the school week.”
Scott nodded. “And I'll see you there?”
“I will be free during the time known as lunch.”
“Good.”
“Yes,” Buffy said.
Scott gave her a smile. “Are you sure you don't need a ride home?”
Buffy nodded. “I'm fine. I have to stop by the school, it's close by and I like walking in the sun,” she explained, adding silently to herself, especially since I usually walk in the moonlight.
“Sunshine is good,” Scott said.
“And warm,” Buffy said with a self-satisfied grin.
He got into his car, waved at the others standing between his car and Cordelia Chase's Corvette and sent Buffy one last smile before driving off.
“Wasn't that just the most pathetic goodbye, I've ever seen.”
Buffy winced and turned toward Cordelia. “What?”
“You were counting your dates and are you two even speaking in English? It's just so…”
“Romantic,” Willow piped in, her body leaning towards Oz but her eyes on Buffy. “I think it's romantic.”
“Me too,” Oz said agreeing with his girlfriend and taking her hand.
Buffy smiled, Willow and Oz were so right together. They looked so comfortable and everything seemed so easy, despite the fact Oz was a werewolf. They had a nice relationship and it made Buffy happy for Willow.
“It's nice. Scott's nice,” she said glancing toward where Scott's car had been, thinking that she wanted a nice and comfortable relationship with a nice boy. And Scott was just the boy for her needs.
“I guess it must be nice not having to wonder if he'll go all evil and blood-thirsty.”
Buffy tensed at Cordelia's words, and she heard Willow and Xander instantly step in to veer the subject away from Angel. Oz, piping up to echo Willow and Cordelia huffing but not saying anything more.
But it was too late. Buffy's mind was on Angel. Not on their past but on the present. On the fact that he was presently in the mansion, probably still crouching on the floor in dirty pants and covered in grime. Angel was back in Sunnydale, back in her life and she didn't understand.
She'd said good bye to him at the place where she'd thrust a sword into his chest and sent him to hell. Then ten days later she found him while patrolling in the woods. He'd been wild and naked, he'd look at her without any recognition and tried to fight her. He'd been easy to knock out because he was weak and shaking.
He was stronger now. He trusted her now, at first he'd been defensive readying to attack her to defend himself. Angel had seen her as a danger to him and it weighed on her conscience because he should. Hadn't she sent him to an eternal torment in hell? Which brought her back to the why of it, the confusion of it and the how of it. How had he returned? She couldn't ask Angel, the most he'd said was her name, and a thank you for the blood she brought to him, to help him get stronger.
She had spoken to Giles, pretending it was just a dream, which Giles thought was natural due to her grief. He'd had no answers, just theories and everything he'd said about the demon dimension hadn't boded well for Angel's psyche.
But Angel knew who she was. He could drink out of the plastic canisters she brought to him. He was still Angel just unfocused, weak and to Buffy a very confusing presence. One she was pushing to the back of her mind, keeping at a distance until he was stronger, until she could figure out what was going on, until she knew he was going to be okay. He was her responsibility, it was her responsibility to take care of him and to make sure he wasn't a threat to anyone in Sunnydale.
Yet she hadn't told anyone he was back. In fact she kept on with her goal of moving on and letting her past with him go while the days past by. It'd been the longest week of her life.
“Buffy?”
Buffy jumped when Willow's voice, followed by her hand on Buffy's arm broke into her thoughts.
“Thinking about your guy?”
“What?” Buffy stared at her best friend, how had Willow known? How was she going to explain.
“Scott, the kiss, the upcoming fourth date…” Willow trailed off with a dreamy sigh.
“Oh. Scott. Yes.” Buffy managed to say praying that they took her blushing to be about being caught daydreaming about her new boyfriend and not about her fear of being found for keeping such a huge secret. “I like Scott,” she said.
“Well, as entertaining as Buffy's love life is…not,” Cordelia said, gaining Buffy's attention. “A question was posed Buffy, are you sure you don't want a ride to the school. I'm going that way.”
Buffy met Cordelia's gaze and pondered the offer. Now that Angel was on her mind, she was wondering how she was going to manage to stop by and see him. Giles wanted her train, her mother wanted her home for dinner and that left little time for her to try to do her homework and patrol. Maybe she could go by the mansion before heading home for dinner? And if she took Cordelia up on the ride she'd get to the library faster. Maybe she could – should – talk to Giles about Angel?
“Limited time offer, Buffy,” Cordelia said punctuating her sentence by opening her car door.
“No thanks, Cordy. I really do want to walk in the sun,” Buffy heard herself say. She wasn't ready to tell Giles, less time with Giles meant less time to feel guilty about keeping secrets.
“Suit yourself. Actually you could use some sun, your midnight hours are showing. I mean you have no color.”
Buffy looked at her arms worried that Cordelia wasn't just trying to get on her nerves and instantly defended herself. “I have color.”
Cordelia made a noise with her tongue meant for Buffy but then dropped the subject by turning toward Xander. “We are not going to say goodbye like two dorks. Understand?”
Xander agreed with a nod, and soon he and Cordelia were kissing. Buffy felt like a deer trapped in headlights, it was just so gross watching Xander swap saliva with Cordelia. Finally she made herself turn away and shared an eye roll with Willow. She really didn't understand Xander's relationship – which was a term she used loosely – with Cordelia. They never got along and yet their were always pawing each other. Their relationship had none of the ease or common ground that Willow had found with Oz. Yet there was the fact that Cordelia actually put up with a certain amount of persecution from her friends by dating Xander. Basically, Buffy realized she'd just never figure out Cordelia Chase.
Suddenly, Buffy's mind caught up to what was going on in the parking lot of the diner where they'd all just had a group lunch date. Why were Cordelia and Xander kissing goodbye?
“You two aren't going to go hang out at Cordelia's?”
“I have loads of homework and cheerleading routines to practice, I need to have everything down to show the squad at the morning practice before school,” Cordelia explained.
“And Oz's going to drop me off, since I live closer to Will's than Cordelia.”
“Dingoes are practicing at Devon's today,” Oz said.
Willow sighed. “So, no more Oz time for me today.”
Buffy felt deflated and she sighed. “How is a slayer supposed to live a vicariously normal life of fun and dating if you guys don't… have fun. I was feeling so much better about my busy-ness thinking all of you would have a good old fashioned lazy Sunday with the smoochies and stuff.”
Willow, Oz and Xander gave her a sympathetic look but Cordelia broke the moment. “Well, meeting for lunch for a big group date was…well, let's never do it again.”
She got into her car and shot Buffy one last look. “Last shot for a ride, Buffy?”
“Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” Cordelia started her car and barreled out of the parking lot.
“And yet again living in the same neighborhood as Willow saves my life,” Xander said as the four of them gaped at the empty air left in Cordelia's wake.
She shook her head at Xander and waved goodbye to Willow and Oz. And the sun shined down on her as she walked toward the high school but her thoughts grew darker and more confused with each step.
All she had wanted was to go on with her life. To have as much normalcy as she could muster up for herself in the craziness that was her life as The Slayer. She'd found her way back home, she was dealing with her mother's worry and ignorance about her calling, she'd gotten things back on track with Willow and Xander. She even liked talking with Cordelia about fashion when they got stuck at a table together at lunch or The Bronze and she'd met a really nice guy with a nice smile.
She'd taken the steps to move on past Angel and all the love, pain and fear that had come with their relationship. Yet he'd come back, he'd returned from a hell dimension and their was no evidence to show how or why and as well as she was pretending nothing had happened she knew it had.
And she knew should tell Giles about it. About his state of mind, and it's slow improvement and about how she'd found him. And ask him what to do, Giles would have answers about what to do about Angel's return. And that was what frightened her. She wasn't ready to hear Giles' concerns or questions about Angel's return to Sunnydale.
It was still so new, it was still a shock to her system and she wanted to know more. She wanted to hear Angel say more than just her name, she wanted him to look at her the way he used too. A part of her wanted things to go back to the way they had been before her birthday, before everything went so wrong and she knew it was stupid and wrong.
But it didn't stop the ache in her chest, and the pain made her angry. Furious really and another part of her wished that it had never happened, whatever it was…and then she hated herself.
Because how could she wish Angel away?
Part 2
The overpowering smell of her mother's perfume filled the foyer and Cordelia wrinkled her nose and quickly found the bright side to inhaling the fumes – it warned her that her parents were home. A rarity for a Sunday but one she was noticing was happening more and more often. Maybe they were finally mellowing in their old age like Harmony's parents? Cordelia's nose wrinkled and she wondered if she really wanted that to be the case and made her way towards the back parlor where her mother was the most likely to be found.
Helene Chase's voice greeted Cordelia five feet before she even reached the archway leading to the room and she sighed when she heard her mother ordering them something French for dinner. That meant that her parents had sent Ellen home, which meant dinner was going to be overpriced and from a restaurant instead of something that she'd like. Suddenly, Cordelia regretted not getting what she hadn't finished at the diner as a doggie bag like both Buffy and Willow.
“Hi, Mom,” Cordelia called out announcing her arrival and smiling when her mother's eyes glanced her way.
Helene raised a finger at her daughter and started to shake her head. “And this can be delivered at precisely half-past seven? Good, I despise having my dinner be late.”
Hanging up the telephone Helene crossed the room toward Cordelia, and Cordelia started to once again say hello, when her mother walked right past her without a blink.
Ignoring the sudden tightness in her throat Cordelia pushed past it and called out again, to her mother's back. “Hi, Mom.”
“Oh. Hi, darling. Did you know that Ellen wants two weeks off for Christmas?”
Cordelia followed her mother into the kitchen and watched as the older woman went through the refrigerator randomly pulling out items. “Doesn't she always get two weeks off?”
“Dear lord, Cordelia, of course she doesn't.”
Cordelia raised an eyebrow, her mind calculating all the past years where Ellen had not be around for Christmas, and it was always two weeks if not longer. “Mom, I…”
“If she thinks she's getting paid in full to taking fourteen days off during winter she is sadly mistaken. We may be gone for most of that time, but this house needs to be taken care of in our absence. I will not have it be empty.”
“We always leave it empt…”
“We most certainly do not, Cordelia. What crazy things are in your head these days. We never leave this house unattended.”
Biting the inside of her cheek Cordelia decided it was best to just give up and go along with her mother. “Right, I don't know what I was thinking.”
“One does have to wonder what is with you lately. Are you inhaling products or whatever the trendy drug is these days?”
“What?” Cordelia snapped appalled at her mother's sudden question.
“Do not raise your voice with me,” Helene snapped, closing the door to the refrigerator and walking away from it empty handed. “I'm just concerned about the people you are spending you're time with lately.”
“What do you mean?”
“Aura and Harmony stopped by. Didn't you tell me you were going out with them to lunch?”
“I said I'd be with Xander. My boyfriend and his friends.”
“No. Cordelia you said your friends, which are of course young women from upstanding families like Aura and Harmony. And this Xander, boy, this isn't the Harris boy is it?”
“I told you Mom, I'm dating Xander Harris and he's really sweet and wonderful guy.”
“Of course he is darling, now…” she trailed off. “Cordelia, you are not going to be beautiful forever. Your looks will only let you slide by for so much longer, you have maybe ten years but really by the time you are twenty you should have landed a husband from a worthy family.”
Helene raised a finger again and shook her head. “Remember, you're father and I met my senior of high school. You really should be going to the college campus, I was so proud of you last you when you took the initiative but then your not dating anyone and then this thing with that boy…I really thought over the summer you would have come to your senses. I introduced to plenty of worthy and attractive young men, didn't I? I know that Allan Dennison's son took quite a liking to you.”
A wave of pure revulsion hit Cordelia at the thought of the grabby bastard her mother was referring to; she'd kicked him in the shins a million times before finally kneeing him in the groin. After which he'd finally gotten the point and stopped mauling her on a daily basis.
“Well, do you have anything to say?”
“When were Aura and Harmony here?” Cordelia asked, not wanting to discuss her love life with her mother. She didn't want to defend Xander, she didn't want to defend her interest in Xander because she knew it would be pointless.
“Oh, I don't remember. I just found it odd you weren't with them.”
“I told you I went out with Xander and his friends.”
“Whatever, dear,” Helene said and she walked out of the kitchen leaving nothing but perfumed air in her wake.
Cordelia stood where she was for a full minute trying to decide if she wanted to scream, cry or pretend nothing at happened at all. Deciding finally that it was best to pretend, she squared her shoulders and went to the refrigerator and grabbed a diet soda.
***
“I have to go, Giles. Dinners together complete with family bonding is all the rage in the Summer's house these days. I told her I'd be home before sunset for tons of time to bond before I have to go dust the evil vampires,” Buffy bit her lip. “Okay, I didn't mention the slaying of evil, but I think it's for her own peace of mind that I still sneak out the window. Right?”
Without turning away from the library cage where he was putting back the protective gear he wore while training – for all the good it did not do him – Giles made a noise. “While it may not be prudent to condone such shenanigans it probably is for the best you don't discuss the dangers of your calling with Joyce often. I do trust you two have worked out things since your return?”
Buffy shifted uneasily on her feet as she studied Giles' back. “I guess so. She's just being a mom, maybe overly so but I guess since I took off I can't… I was just so wigged out about Angel.”
“Anymore dreams?”
Dreams? Buffy's mind went completely black on her as she tried to figure out what Giles was getting out before her lie about dreaming about Angel's return flitted back into her mind. God, she hated lying. How had she lied to her mother for so long about being The Slayer? Survival she supposed. “No…but um…”
Giles turned around then and gave Buffy a smile that was so understanding she found herself wishing that hole that never did appear and swallow you up to save you from a situation or yourself. Her thoughts filled with everything she had already done wrong, running away, keeping the fact Willow's spell had worked and returned Angel's soul a secret for another week or so after return, and now – now keeping the fact that Angel was in Sunnydale, very alive and very obviously not stuck in a hell dimension.
She had to tell Giles, she had to tell him she owed him that after everything she'd put him through. He was the person she had to share this amazing and terrifying secret with and maybe he could help her make it make sense. Or maybe, maybe she'd actually wake up from the crazy dream it all had to be – but she knew it wasn't a dream. It was real and she was afraid to admit it. But she had to try and she started to formulate the question but never got it out.
“Buffy, it was a very difficult moment, one I doubt I will ever understand fully myself but you showed great courage and did what you had to do as The Slayer. I am quite proud of you and also quite proud that you have chosen to go on with your life…” he cleared his throat trailing off. “Which brings me to one last point I wish to discuss with you before you go off to bond with Joyce.”
She stood silent, she'd heard his words but they weren't processing but he was talking again and Buffy realized as he was halfway through a sentence that she was being given a lecture. A practice well thought out Giles lecture and she wasn't listening to it because she was relieved he'd interrupted her confession and more than a little guilty about it. But not guilty enough to stop herself from saying silent and forcing her ears to catch the end of the speech, praying that she caught enough to know what it was about.
“… Now I want you to understand that I think Scott is a very nice young man, Buffy but it's not prudent or safe for him to be told anything about your destiny just yet. I know it will be hard to keep a secret from someone you are dating and lord knows enough of Sunnydale is already aware of your status as Slayer, but it's for the best that Scott does not know. I'm happy you have found someone new that you like but you must remember you're priorities and keep your identity—”
“A secret,” Buffy breathed out. “Right. I can keep it quiet, my lips are sealed.”
***
Angel blinked the words on the page in front of him remained blurred and the harder he tried to focus on the faded black ink on the aged pages the worse it got. In fact the strings of sentences seemed to bend left to right as if mocking him for not being able to read.
He threw the book, it hit the opposite wall of the mansion's main room with a loud thud and plummeted to the floor, the pages noisy in the air and then everything went quiet again.
Or as quiet as a sunny California day could be to a vampire. A wind was blowing, no more than a breeze really but it moved the leaves and branches of the woods surrounding the building, as well as the flowering vines that had formed a blanket around the outside, scrapping them against the walls. He could hear everything and nothing, it was creating a constant static white noise in his head. Adding to the memories of hundreds of years in a dimension where his conscience had tormented him with a never-ending loop of all his murderous and callous deeds. No cruel act was too small not show in every vivid detail, and the good memories he had – however few – were twisted in ways to remind him how undeserving he'd been and then led to the inevitable gruesome end done by his hands.
The white noise of a sunny day coupled with memories that were his made even more vivid by centuries in hell made him restless, trapped in his own skin, in his own mind. Angel wanted to go out, he wanted to kill – vampires, demons – he promised himself his conscience loud, revolted by centuries of wrongful acts. He needed to try to run away from his head, his memories, the mansion still full of the blood of his most recent victims.
But he couldn't. It wasn't the sun keeping him trapped, it was the hunger and the weakness of it. The hunger was humming inside of him, screaming at him to go out and find blood – any blood, all blood and to consume it. Take all he needs and then all he wants and then he'd be whole again. Not weak after pacing for a mere minute, able to focus his eyes on page and maybe able to step out of the past and focus on the now.
Now. Now he was in Sunnydale and it wasn't right. It made no sense, and Buffy had found him, and through the crazed fog that had eveloped him at first he had seen her, smelled her, almost tasted her blood but realized she was real. Had it been a dream? Hell? Being back?
It was all unclear. Clarity, he craved clarity and a primal voice inside of him told him blood was the only way. Blood. Blood. Blood.
“Angel?”
The haze in Angel's mind didn't break, but it lifted at the soft voice that followed tentative footsteps. He looked up and smiled. It was Buffy. Buffy. His Buffy, and he'd done so much damage to her and yet there she was here and helping him.
“I can't stay long,” she explained coming closer, looking at the couch where he sat and he watched her, wondering would she sit with him. She stayed standing, so far away and he sniffed the air. And smelled only her and it was wonderful, but he needed blood. Where was pig's blood, she'd brought some last night but it wasn't enough. Hadn't she brought more?
“I just wanted to check in with you. I'll bring more blood tomorrow, I brought enough to last you two days.”
Angel swallowed and looked at her, the pain was so much and didn't she know that, couldn't she that. “Tomorrow?”
She stared at him and bit her lip, looked behind her and Angel wanted to reach out and grab but hadn't he lost that right? She seemed so far away, he knew only a summer had passed for her, while it had been hundreds of years for him but she seemed so far away. Standing right there she seemed so far away but the smell of the blood under her skin was getting stronger and stronger.
He stood up, it startled her but he ignored her gasp and he walked around the couch, putting more of a barrier between them.
“You can't come by tonight?” he asked focusing on her chin rather than her eyes.
Her chin drew up defiant but then he noticed her body sag, Buffy was sighing and she cleared her throat. “Mom. She found out about the Slayer thing and it's a whole big thing. And well Giles is being kind of more hover-y than usual too. It all has to do with me running away – but I mean I'm back. Don't worry about that.”
“Back?” Angel echoed, he was back too wasn't he?
“Tomorrow. You just you know drink the blood, rest. You look stronger.”
Angel closed his eyes and then opened them and met hers. She looked so hopeful, so determined and so small. How was someone with so much power always reminding him something that could break in a second? So fragile. So vulnerable, she'd always had it and now it was in even more bold in her blue-blue eyes.
His fault.
His doing.
“I am,” he lied.
“Tomorrow then,” Buffy said and then she was gone.
Buffy was gone and Angel slumped down, gripping the back of the couch with his hands and fought to stay standing. Seconds later he failed.
Part 3
Her hair finally dry, Cordelia turned off the drier, dropped it on her bureau and grabbed her phone. Within a second she was on her bed, sitting indian style and ignoring the backpack on the end of it and listening to the rings on the other end of the line.
“What?”
Cordelia cringed at the sound of Mr. Harris' voice, but did her best to sound cheery and welcoming. “Is Xander home? It's Cordelia.”
She heard movement and then a lot of loud bellowing for Xander. It heralded no results and she tried to ignore the sinking sensation in her gut at what that probably meant.
“No,” Mr. Harris said to her before hanging up abruptly.
Cordelia closed her line, took two quick breathes and then decided that she had every right to call Willow Rosenberg's home and talk to her boyfriend. She just knew Xander was there, if he wasn't home he was either with her, Willow or Buffy. If he wasn't such a lame loser she'd have to give him a hard time for making it look like he had a harem, she thought, as she dialed Willow's phone number. A number she thought she'd never know by heart.
“Hello?” Willow's voice came through the line.
“It's Cordy, I want Xander.”
“Oh. Hold on.”
Cordelia wished she could be feel surprised about her boyfriend being at the other girls home.
“How's my girl?”
She smiled, but she was his girlfriend and Willow wasn't and never would be. Willow had Oz anyway and she could be understanding and not overly insecure of her boyfriend's every move like the sheep that called themselves the Cordettes.
“Bored. I did all my cheerleading stuff and now only have homework looming ahead of me.”
“Will's helping me with geometry while we watched those wacky Indian soap operas. Someone is singing to a picture frame right now as we speak.”
“How tacky,” Cordelia muttered.
“Yeah I know. Look, I'll call you when I get home, okay?”
Cordelia nodded and wished he'd talk to her longer, but he never did if he wasn't home. Was it really so much to ask he want to tie up his friends phone lines? “I'm holding you to it.”
“Gotcha. We'll do something special during lunch tomorrow, huh?” Cordelia could see his eyebrows waggling through the phone and she rolled her own eyes.
“We are not spending lunch in a closet, Xander.”
“You know you want too,” he wheedled.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. “I'm once again reminded that I have to teach you how to behave properly around a woman.”
“There is a woman around?”
“Ha!”
Xander lowered his voice. “You know I love every womanly inch of you.”
“Ugh. Bye Xander.”
“Talk to you later about our lunch date.”
“It's going to be somewhat romantic,” Cordelia said, just before Xander hung up and left her listening to a dial tone. Rolling her eyes, she wondered for the millionth time since she'd started her relationship with him what she was thinking. But then she remembered his sweet brown eyes, how brave he was everyday with all the demons and stuff, how could she not like Xander Harris.
Of course she could never tell her friends about the courage in the face of demons, but that was their loss. If they just learned to open their eyes they'd know about the danger right under the high school same as her.
Furrowing her brow she looked at her backpack, and thought of all the homework inside of it and shook her head. She wasn't ready to start frying her brain with boring facts and figures in all her subjects. Standing up she decided to wander into the kitchen and see what she could find as a snack.
Her father's voice greeted her the second she opened her door. She frowned, what was he yelling so loudly about on his phone this time. His den was at the other end of the hall by the staircase. She stalled for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to move closer to the shouting but decided she was being foolish.
“No. No. No. Miranda, honey, baby…shh.”
Or maybe not all that foolish, Cordelia thought as she moved close enough to hear the words and the tone. He'd calmed down a bit but he was in full smarm mode trying to calm down his latest mistress. A cold chill settled through Cordelia's body and she tried to push it away.
“Miranda, you know I want to see you, be with you, fuck you… but I have to bring Helene on this trip. For the firm, there is a get to together, so you are going to have to wait a bit… Honey, baby, you know I only want you.”
Only it was impossible to push away something your own father didn't even try to hide and she felt sick to her stomach, hugged herself and quickened her steps to get away from his voice. The sooner she reached the kitchen, the sooner she could pretend her father wasn't an adulterous ass again.
“Oh, thank goodness. Cordelia, honey. You have to run to the dry cleaners for me.”
Her mother's voice startled her as she reached the end of the staircase and she blinked at the woman dumbly for a moment. “What?”
“I just realized I left my dress there. I called and Ben is going to stay open just for you to run down and grab it. Go, go. We don't want to put him out too much longer.”
“Mom, I was going to have a snack and then I have…”
“Cordelia.”
Cordelia ended up hugging herself tighter, looking up the staircase where she could still here her father's muffled voice sweet talking his mistress. He wasn't even considering her mother, or her, that they could hear him and if he did he just didn't care.
She felt so cold and alone. Her father was upstairs sweet talking his latest tramp while her mother was staring at her like she was an alien for arguing about the dry cleaning? Didn't her mother care? Why didn't he care? Why should she care?
“Fine,” Cordelia said and stalked past her mother.
***
Angel didn't remember leaving the mansion. He hurt, he was shaking but he refused to stop walking. He needed something, it was important that he get it. Had that been why he'd left the mansion once the sun had set? Forced himself off the floor and onto his feet? He remembered falling. He remembered Buffy and lying to her about his strength, seeing her determination and her pain and saying what she wanted to hear. And then he'd fallen, the pain weakening his legs and taking him to the floor of the mansion.
Then he was walking, in the dark, sticking near the shadows and heading somewhere. He looked behind him, he was no longer in the woods, he'd moved off of it and towards buildings. Buildings after buildings were around him and parked cars on the sides of the road. Few people, but there were there, far away but with loud beating hearts that he could hear over the hum of the electricity in the wires above, and the other manmade noises that covered the earth in its present stage.
He kept walking, towards the heartbeats, towards breath, skin and blood. He remembered now. Blood. That was what he was seeking, he'd left the mansion to get blood. Where? How? He couldn't remember again. He looked around, buildings, cars, people, markings and roads he didn't recognize. It was Sunnydale wasn't it? Didn't he know Sunnydale? Demons, demons had places, places that would lead to him what he craved, what he wanted, what he needed to survive.
He blinked. No. That wasn't it, that wasn't where he would have gone before… before Hell, before he remembered the joy of sweet, warm human blood gushing over his tongue and down his throat.
Human blood. Sticky, sweet, warm and it would spurt out of their bodies and over his tongue where he held all the control of how much or little he took. Would it be fast, would it be slow? How he had love to relish a kill, and Angel shivered, his stomach clenched and his mind snapped.
He was a monster, he could hear it in his head. His own voice, voices of nameless victims, a harsher voice that cut him from the inside out… And Buffy's, he could hear it in Buffy's voice too. She'd sent him to hell because of what he'd done as a monster.
Angel stopped, grabbed the side of a stop sign near the side of the street and doubled over. What was he doing? Focus, he could barely focus. He needed blood. He looked around, he had to remember where he was and where he was supposed to go.
A grocery store was ahead of him, but all it's lights were off. Crafts, books, businesses, a bank, and his eyes landed on another set of buildings. The ones closest to him. Why couldn't he find something familiar to latch onto, why wouldn't his brain work more than a few moments at a time?
Pain, hunger and confusion were all he knew, he stumbled closer to the buildings he was near. They were all stores, close together and he sniffed. He smelled animals, dead animals, one of them had to be a butcher and where their was a butcher there was blood. He walked through a parking lot, three cars dotted the lot but clearly in front of him was a butcher shop.
That was it. It was why he'd left the mansion, forced himself to walk, to stay clear and find. A butcher shop. He hurried up to the door, it wouldn't open but the lights were on. He tried again, slammed his fists against the glass and didn't notice it shatter. All Angel saw was that it had remained closed. He hit again and started to shout. What he did not know, all Angel knew was he so close to what was needed and if he didn't get it….
A man appeared on the other side of the shattered glass. Angel felt relief at the sight of the tired face until it turned to anger. Confusion filled him, confusion and pain but he stepped back when the man opened the door a crack, then tried to get in. Grab at the door, wench it open completely and get the blood he came for.
“You broke the fucking door.”
“I need blood.”
“What?”
“Blood. Open up and sell me blood.”
“Fuck that. I don't need the hassle of some drugged up asshole. Get lost before I call the police.”
Angel shook his head, not hearing the mans words but understanding that the door was going to close and he reached forward and got the wrist of the man. He wrenched the arm hard, heard it fall out of the man's socket but only his arm came threw the door and the man screamed in pain.
“Blood,” Angel muttered his fingers feeling the man's pulse through his skin. Warm skin and blood. It was swimming through the man, Angel could hear it. A peaceful whoosh that was calling to him, telling him it was right and that this was what he needed.
His face changed, hardened, his teeth elongated and the whoosh of blood grew and it's scent grew stronger with the man's fear. He heard cries from the man, as he loomed over his wrist and Angel stopped.
His head lifted, the air was different, he looked up and found himself looking into the wide eyes of a scared female. Her mouth opened, she screamed something familiar to him but he wasn't sure what, but his mouth was watering. Sweet, young, pure, terrified blood coursing through a woman who was running -- he liked that, a voice reminded him. And he was after her, snarling, craving and it took only a moment.
A moment to catch her, slam her against the side of a car, push at the thick long hair that dared to cover her neck and pull at the blouse that went up too high. There was the tear of fabric, then the feel of heated skin against his lips, Angel sniffed in the heavenly perfume of young female virgin blood full of fear.
All he had to do was take it.
Part 4 |