Go TeamC/A
Title: Moonlighting
Author: Califi
Posted:
Rating: almost N-17.
Category: WPW? Fluff
Content: C/A
Summary: Angel's raunchy past catches up with him- or does it?
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: Curse, shmursh even tho it doesn't go that far lol!
Thanks/Dedication:I was looking at the challenges again, and came across a little paragraph I wrote in honour of Scorchy's centrefold challenge, before I started on Naked Ambition. That scene didn't get into my serial, and so I decided to write a little ficlet JUST to put it in- and complete the challenge in SOMY way or another for her, lol.
Feedback:
Cordelia blushed as she paid for the magazine; her friend from the Manicure boutique had asked the favour – it was needed for a ‘HenHat’ she was making for her sister who was getting married in a couple of weeks:
“It just wouldn’t be a proper hat without pictures of male parts pasted all over it – and I just can’t get out right now – pllleeeaaase?”….***
So here she sat, cross-legged on the floor [in the Basement to avoid detection!] deciding to have a little peek at the ‘Raunchy ManStud’ Magazine she’d purchased.
“I’m sure Sharleen won’t mind me checking it out first.” She muttered as she flicked the pages –
“Oh, My! What’s he – a cross between an Italian Stallion and an experiment gone seriously wrong!” Cordy angled the page and squinted her stunned hazel eyes as she mentally calculated if there was a woman who could take such a monstrosity.
“I bet his hand gets a lot of use, poor guy.” She sniggered inelegantly; missing the sound of the Basement door opening, and the appearance of her boss, clad in muscle shirt and sweats making his way down the stairs.
Turning to the next page, another snort escaped at the sight of the naked man astride a Donkey; his ‘part’ draped in the saddle and looking rather forlorn.
“Whoops! I think 'My Little Pony' would’ve been more appropriate there – so not getting the association.”
Angel hung back, listening to his Seer's outrageous comments; a small smirk lifting the corner of his mouth as he thought of all the things he could say to embarrass her later.
Who’d athunk it? Innocent little Cordeeeliaaa buying magazines of naked guys! If I’d known she was a closet Voyeur, I would have offered a little show of my own! He swallowed the groan at the images of her gorgeous hazel eyes eating him up.
Creeping up behind her silently, Angel looked over her shoulder; his eyes crinkling when he saw the guy on the Donkey – she was spot on too! – Now, if it had been him…well; let’s just say, that Donkey would have had serious performance issues afterwards. he gloated inwardly, not in the least bit ashamed of his arrogance- You got it, flaunt it and be damned proud, that's what I always...think.
Still sniggering to herself, and completely unaware of the large cool body inches from her own, looming over her, Cordy turned another page.
“Arrgh!” – No WAY! her mouth dropped to the floor as she stared in shock at the lean figure draped over a chaise lounge. Angel nearly jumped out of his skin at her screech – then imitated her impression of a flycatcher.
It couldn’t be! How the hell- even his internal voice stuttered at the blatant…FAKE; definitely FAKE picture of a seriously lacking guy – with HIS face staring up at him from the magazine.
After the shock had faded a little, Cordy started chuckling, and finally laughing with real amusement; and not a little spite as she sized up the little worm that lay nervously in the guy’s lap.
“Who’d have figured? My Vamp has shortcomings I’d never have thought in a Million years - Wes and Gunn will pee themselves! - Oh, God, I need oxygen” she snorted hysterically, not even realising she'd claimed him as hers. Angel did though, and would've done cartwheels under normal circumstances - but this was so far from normal he could hardly speak.
“That’s NOT ME!” Cordy shrieked in shock, and fell on her back, looking up at the fuming Vamp as she experienced a potential heart attack.
“Whu-how-What- what the frikk are YOU doing here? – Sneaking up on a gal without warning! Jeez!” she spluttered, then gasped as she realised she thrown the magazine when she landed on her back. sitting up quickly, she grabbed it before Angel could, clutching it to her chest when he towered over her with a verrrry dark frown scrunching his handsome face. "Don't even try it buster." she warned with a matching scowl.
Unbidden, her eyes dropped to the crutch of his loose pants, and another snigger fell from her lips [even though howling at the injustice/cruelty of it would have been closer to how she felt; damn it!]. It was hard to tell in the shadowy Basement, and the dark fabric of his sweats hampered her sharp appraisal too. Her gaze instantly darted away at the low warning growl that sounded above her head.
“Who’d a thunk it?” unknowingly repeating his thoughts just minutes earlier, as Cordy again opened the mag; an irrepressible grin sliding across her face – for now ignoring the disappointment at her devastating find, and instead decided that at least there was a hell of a lot of potential for serious blackmail – and presents in little blue boxes to be garnered.
"I'm telling you, Cordelia, that is NOT me!" Angel's face would've been red if he'd drunk enough blood earlier; as it was, his mouth looked pinched, dark eyes shooting daggers at her instant snort.
"Yeah, right! Pull the other one!" Sniggering inelegantly, Cordy stuck her face in the magazine, then frowned sympathetically. "Although, if I were a man, I'd deny it too if I had such a weeny!" Another rude snort escaping her smirking mouth.
Angel was beyond words right at that second- he couldn’t, for the life of him figure out how his picture had ended up in the magazine- and was horrified [and not a little pissed that his scrumptious Seer would think he was lacking in that particular department.], and instantly decided he just had to put her straight - [against the wall with the physical proof of his generous endowment in a tight, hot place that would make it clear just how much he was packing!]
As Angel's brain went into overdrive at the images flashing across his inner vision, all sense bled out of his ears. and uncharacteristically he made a decision he never thought, in a million years [with the soul!] he'd do. The need to prove his point [literally] reared it's ugly head. "Right! That’s it!" he hissed from tight lips, and hooked his fingers into the waistband of his sweats and let them fall to the floor, the hand reaching into his boxers.
"Now, I'll tell you again: That. Is. Not. ME!" he reiterated angrily, practically shoving his rapidly hardening cock into her face.
Her mouth dropped open in shock; shutting it quickly as she realised the implication. Open mouths weren't too clever near Donkey-like objects waving nearby! All delicacy [hah!] fell out of the window.Fuck me! – And I meant that literally! The embarrassed shock lasted only seconds as the appendage bobbed heavily a little too close to her face. “Careful! You nearly poked me in the eye!" Cordy almost stuttered, rearing back; and licking her lips at the same time Mmmmm….Salty Goodness Crap! She’d said that out loud! *gulp*
“Don’t worry, sweetheart- I won’t miss next time I ‘poke’ you!” Angel growled softly; a feral glint in his hot eyes. He’d seen her reaction, and heard her hot little comment, and his sex showed its healthy appreciation by getting a very big head. He smirked with triumph and rapidly returning pride when her lovely eyes widened even more – was that drool on her chin?
“Angel! – Put it away," Cordy tried to look away- but God, it was hard [hooboy was it!].Her harsh demand came out more like a whine as she continued; "it’s not like you can *do* anything with it, anyway.” She snarked irritably. As the words formed, the fact that he indeed couldn't, hit her like a ton of bricks, and just... God. What a waste! It was like being in a Candy Store without a cent to your name.
A soft chuckle shook her out of her visit to the gutter and she blushed a charming shade of red. “Eep! I said that aloud, too, didn’t I?” she asked, mortified. Angel grinned, nodding, and feeling his ego rebuilding at a rapid rate, he winked lasciviously at her, causing her to flush even more under his melting hot chocolate gaze. Oh, Boy
“Actually, sweetheart, you'll be amazed with what I can do with this baby!” Angel purred softly and dropped to his knees until he was face to face with the now-speechless brunette.
Cordy blinked owlishly. his reply and the blatant use of the word 'You'll' transfixing her to the spot. Her mouth belatedly parted with a soft gasp when a hand was snagged and her nerveless fingers were wrapped firmly around cool, velvet steel. Angel released a low moan when she instinctively squeezed him tight, the smile on his face now oozing devilish intent.
As his dark head dipped to hers, he again glanced at her pert chin.
Yup! It was most definitely drool….
FIN.
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