Go TeamC/A
Title: Story Time
Author: Scorch
Posted:
Rating: PG
Category: Humour
Content: C/Aus implied
Summary: Just bloody read it will ya?!
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: AO, Cal, Lil, Lio, n Sara's place
Notes: Just a little ficlet, absolutely no plot whatsoever!
Thanks/Dedication:
Feedback:
"Alright little guy" Angelus rubbed his hands together in glee as he peered down at the baby all snug and warm in his little crib. Every part of his son was carefully wrapped up in blankets, leaving only his baby face and wide eyes peeking out from the white cocoon.
He couldn't be having his son catch a cold, now could he? That would lead to snivelly noses, runny boogers and all-night crying which seriously cut in on the vampire's down time. Besides, colds were contagious and if his son caught one, then Cordy would catch it too.
And he definitely couldn't be having that. If she caught a cold, she'd have a sore throat and that would cut in on her down time.
"Time for your story" Angelus paused for thought for a few seconds, trying to find one he hadn't already used. He was 250 years old, surely he could come up with a great story, one that Connor would remember forever.
The white bundle with a face blinked up at the vampire, not understanding anything other than the fact his father was nodding and talking to himself.
Scary.
Angelus brightened up considerably as the perfect story lit a megawatt bulb inside his head and he mentally congratulated himself. "Once upon a time, there was this real pretty girl about Cordy's age and she was called... Little Red... Buffy Hood"
Connor wondered if he'd heard this one before, it did sound a little familiar. Not that it really mattered of course, he was getting his nightly story from daddy and that was all that mattered.
"And one day, Little Red Buffy Hood was on her way to... See the incredibly handsome but pathetic excuse for a vampire she sickeningly loved with all her heart." Angelus paused for thought for a second before explaining a little more in depth.
"Take it from me kid, this vampire was a real fuckin idiot, I mean come on! He was a vampire right and drank from pigs! Those animals that go oink oink and have cute, little curly tails on the ass-end of their fat, porky bodies. What vampire in his right mind would drink from animals that bathed in shit and mud for fun?"
Connor blinked, he was almost sure this wasn't how the story went but never mind.
Angelus shook his head and got on with the fairy tale. "When Little Red Buffy Hood got to her boyfriend's house she... Found the vampire had lost the soul and was the most feared vampire in all the land. Now this guy..." he whistled in appreciation for the extraordinary talents of the feared vampire.
"This vampire was sooo evil, other vampires feared him. How cool is that? He was sooo bad, his name was the Scourge of Europe cus he... I think you're too young for the details, maybe in a year or two." The dark haired vampire once again shook his head and continued with the bedtime story.
"So Little Red Buffy Hood was allll alone in the dark with this wicked, wicked vampire. She was so scared, it was great! The fear was like an aphrodisiac to him, really got him going ya know? Anyway Little Red Buffy Hood... Tried to hide from the bad, evil vampire but he found her." Angelus was getting to the good part now and rubbed his hands together to prepare to deliver the finishing touches.
"The vampire found her hiding, grabbed fistfulls of her hair and dragged Little Red Buffy Hood off to the secret torture dungeon under his house. Once there, he tied the stupid bitch up with chains and showed her just how evil he had become." Angelus chortled with delight as he practically bounced on his chair with excitement.
He should seriously think about writing children's books, he was great at it. Not that he wouldn't be great at it of course, he excelled at everything he did.
"The Big, Bad Vampire tore her limb from limb" his voice grew louder as he made ripping motions in the air with his hands that had Connor's eyes grow wide. "Then he smashed his fist into her face... BAM! Just like that" he punched the air with vigor and excitement before carrying on.
"Blood was everywhere, dripping from her nose and her arms." Angelus giggled happily and yet again continued. "She was half dead from the blood loss when the Big, Bad Vampire decided to put the wench out of her misery. He had to clean up before Princess Cordy came home to find the vampire torturing his ex. Lemme tell ya, a jealous Princess is not a nice Princess"
Connor could barely keep his eyes open, he was so tired. Daddy's bedtime stories always got him sleepy.
Angelus coughed a little and got himself under control in order to finish the story. "So anyway, after Little Red Buffy Hood was tortured to death, the Big, Bad Vampire got some minions to clean the house while he changed his clothes. Princess Cordy didn't care for dirty clothes, she got mad if they were ruined... Awww!" He cooed when he noticed the baby was struggling to stay awake.
"I'll finish it tomorrow night kid" he cooed and tilted his head to one side and studied his son with an adoring, fatherly gaze.
Quickly slipping back to his human visage, Angel settled and pushed his demon back down. Sighing, he watched the baby fall to sleep with a yawn which scrunched up his babyish face. Finally, the little terror was asleep and about time too.
He and Cordy had tried everything to get the little tyke off but teething seemed to surpass their efforts every time.
"Sweet dreams son" Angel trailed a finger down the small portion of visible cheek, admiring the dewy texture of the soft skin. "Thank you, Angelus!"
The End
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