Go TeamC/A
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Part 4 "That was a really good interpretation," Fred said, impressed by the film.
"It was," The "date" agreed. Cordelia said nothing.
Coming out of the theater, she'd seen more hand holding and even a chaste kiss when Paige rose on tip toes and planted one on Angel's cheek as a 'thank you' for the movie. Oh, it was endearing enough. Angel had turned a nice shade of less pale, and Paige gave him the lovey-dovey doe eyes, and for a moment, Angel even forgot about the earlier trouble she'd caused. It was clear that he was becoming more and more interested in this Paige. Cordelia was just waiting for the next opportunity to bring that idea down…
"Why don't I drop you guys back at the hotel, and then I can take Paige home…or wherever." The 'wherever' part had been a hint. And it was a plea not lost on the others. Angel glanced back through the car at his friends and they nodded in agreement.
He cast a painful glance in Cordelia's direction but met Paige's instead, and somehow she, even in the cramped conditions, managed to somehow snuggle closer to him. "Sounds like a good idea to me," She said. Angel was obviously pleased. But Cordelia frowned. She hadn't agreed to any of this.
"Why don't we go to Caritas?" She blurted, bringing a hiss, a gasp, a cough, and a growl from the car…and also the inevitable 'What's Caritas?', the later of course being from the "date".
"Caritas is sort of our hang out!" Cordelia chirped. Gunn kicked the back of Cordelia's seat so hard, she fell forward. "Hey! Watch the seats!" She snipped. Gunn was about to retort, but the damage was already done. The seed had been planted, Paige looked curious.
"I don't think I've ever been there. Where's it at?" Paige looked over at Angel, as did Cordelia, though Cordelia's look was laced with a very nasty spite. Surprising to one, and not so surprising to the other, the girls found that Angel had gone completely stony. He worked hard at focusing his attention on the traffic, and only the traffic, ahead of them on the road and on nothing else…least of all the insane need to thoroughly strangle Cordelia right now.
Cordelia's grin faltered just the slightest…it was clear that Angel was near his boiling point. "It's kind of…out of the way," Cordy went on, words spoken slower, more precise. For a second, Angel thought she had come to her senses and was trying to undo Paige's interest. Cordelia watched Angel's face intently—she didn't want to blow the whole surprise in one sentence.
No way, this had to last the rest of the night. With a Chesire grin, she finished, "Our friend, Lorne, that I mentioned, he runs it! He's a hoot! You sooo have to meet him!"
"Cordy!" Angel growled.
"What?" She whined, feigning innocence.
Angel's voice was direct and taut, each word stressed, "Paige doesn't want to go to Caritas."
"Shtick, Angel! EVERYONE wants to go to Caritas! It's like the MOST happenin' place in LA!"
"Cordy," His tone was getting there. "Cordy," He tried a little lighter. "Caritas isn't the kind of place—"
"Angel," Paige said hopefully. "It sounds kind of fun. I'd like to go!" The horror in his eyes.
"NO." Angel said most indefinitely. "It's not…" She stared over at him. "Fun." She didn't understand! She didn't...she wouldn't…vamps, demons, Lorne, green… He elaborated. "It's just a…bar. It's…dark. Usually crowded. Loud. Very, very loud. Not exactly the type of…crowd…you're used to. Lots of…undesirable…types. Scary. Types. And… And… And…" None of this was getting through to her, and he blurted disdainfully, "And they have karaoke!"
"I LOVE KARAOKE." The new girl said.
"OH MY GOD, You do???" Cordelia had more than squealed. Angel looked like he was about to vomit…or combust. "Funny…" The unstoppable Seer chattered on. "Definitely something you and Angel here DO NOT have in common. Angel can't stand karaoke. He has this phobia about it, god, he's such a wuss!" She reached past Paige and punched Angel in the shoulder. When he glanced in her direction, his eyes flared yellow. Cordelia didn't mind. "God, we have to DRAG him on the stage to get him to do anything…Hey, Paige! Did you know Angel likes Barry Manilow!" Paige stared at him in shock.
Angel had never wanted to die more in his life. He felt the stake hidden within his jacket pocket and seriously considered it…
"BARRY MANILOW?" Paige exclaimed, bursting into laughter. "I had no idea!"
"There are lots of things you don't know about Angel," Cordelia drawled, eyes darkening, "Maybe tonight we can fix that."
"I'd love to go to this Caritas." Paige said, utterly amused. "Barry Manilow…this I've got to see." Whatever Cordelia was trying to do, she was sure doing one hell of a job. Enough to make Angel temporarily suicidal. Then the "date" took her finger and ran it around the edge of Angel's ear as if the idea of him singing Barry Manilow had been the sexiest thing she'd ever heard of. Cordelia frowned and Angel suddenly stopped frowning.
In fact, he looked downright sheepish…and disturbingly, enthralled. Paige's finger left his ear lobe, and with a slightly shy grin and a flame of her cheeks, she leaned her head against his shoulder and laughed. Glancing down at her, Angel suddenly transformed back into cool and collected…as if he'd suddenly settled into his lax human skin. The tension in his body immediately ceased. He sat back in his seat, the "date's" head bobbing lustfully against his shoulder. Angel smiled. Snorted a laugh even.
Cordelia could tell by the look on his big, dumb vampire face that whatever she'd been able to mess up…Paige had somehow just fixed. "I don't know if they're open tonight," Wesley tried in a somewhat strangled voice. Someone had to stop the madness.
And it was a good effort. But Cordelia had set forth something in motion that could not be stopped. She didn't know what the hell was going on in Angel's head, but she couldn't imagine what he thought was going to happen once they reached Caritas andthe "date" waltzed in to the club expecting it to be just like any other club she'd ever been to.
Cordelia couldn't wait to see the expression on her big, stupid, cutesy face when she realized she was standing knee deep
in a room full of other worldly weirdos. And Cordelia caught herself dreaming of the moment the "date" realized that Angel was one of those weirdos. She'd probably scream and run!
Cordelia grinned. She could stand to see that. She pounced on Wes; No way was Wes of all people dissuading this opportunity! NO WAY! It just had to happen… "They're open like every night Wesley." She stung. "You KNOW that."
"Nuh huh!"
"Oh yes huh! Jeez! You're so full of crap!"
"Well," Feeling foolish, he grumbled, glaring at her from the backseat. "Perhaps they'll be closed tonight."
"Maybe," Fred tried. And Gunn,
"Yo, they closed."
But Cordelia ignored them all. "Come on, Angel…Let's go to Caritas. Let Paige here meet our friend, Lorne."
It was a dare. And when Paige said, "Please?" Angel found himself out of options. He turned at the next right and headed
reluctantly towards the club. He was going to kill Cordelia, he wasn't sure when or how or just how long he would take in doing it, but he was going to do it, and he was going to enjoy it, dammit! Just as much as she was enjoying killing him right now…
Plans for Cordelia were put on hold as Paige again rested her lovely head against his shoulder. He turned to stare down into her innocent green eyes. Everything else suddenly got fuzzy. He felt the knot in his stomach harden as his anxiety swelled. Angel had never feared karaoke so much in his life. him singing, and Paige's realization of what he was, to come…***
"HEY THERE, GORGEOUS!" Lorne, Karaoke singing Demon Host of Caritas, squealed with delight as the group entered the club. It was a little crowded. "Hello, hello! Kisses please!" He waltzed right up to Cordelia and they hugged, kissing each other on the cheek lightly. The Host was dressed to a T in a silk burgundy leisure suit and gold lamiae shirt that accented his features perfectly, and Cordelia complimented him on it. She adjusted the silken scarf tied about his neck, and he grinned. "Thanks, doll. I just picked it up at Lucy's Vintage Duds."
"What is this?" Paige asked slowly, looking around at all the strange oddities—demons, vampires, things she couldn't even name—and a couple of middle aged barflies at the counter. Angel's cold heart caught in his throat and he waited for her to freak. They all did, in fact. Even Lorne as he turned to regard the newest addition to the group.
"Is this…costume night? Or something?" She asked.
"Yes!" Wesley laughed quickly, encouraging the others to do the same.
"Yeah, they do this…every now and then," Gunn tried, less convincingly. Fred grabbed his arm, they know knee-deep in lies, and started to tug. "Let's just find a table,"
"Wow. Great costume!" Paige piped, checking out Lorne's horns and beady, red eyes. "You look…almost real!" She reached out to touch a horn and Lorne jumped back.
"Ah, no touchy-feely, please! These things take forever to…position…right. And I wouldn't want one of them to snap off or anything! Hehehe!" Angel regarded him appreciatively. Paige seemed to immediately feel at home. "My name is Lorne, and I am at your service," He took her hand and bowed to kiss it. "You extremely, beautiful, lovely young thing, you!"
"Thanks," She smiled. "My name is Paige."
"And what a lovely name!"
"She's Angel's "date"." Cordelia said blandly. Lorne glanced up at the big guy in awe. The smirk that crossed his lips cause more anxiety in Angel. Questions would be asked…later, but they'd be asked. Angel didn't really feel like giving full disclosure at the moment…
"Well, well, well! I bet there's a story to be told there!" The Host chimed.
"Oh, there is," Cordelia promised him. She cocked her head at Angel. "We should let Paige tell us the whole story over a round of Sea Breezes."
"That sounds like a fabulous plan! Give me a minute to clear a big table, I'll be right back!" Lorne scuttled off into the crowd, calling his headwaiter, Sergio.
"This place looks really cool!" Paige said excitedly, taking everything in. A seven foot tall Lanatnae Demon was at the mic
doing a decent rendition of The Monkee's "Last Train To Clarksville".
"Uh, yeah," Angel said worriedly. "It is." She slipped her hand into his and held it until Lorne came back.
"Follow me, my friends, follow me!""So Paige, are you gonna dazzle us with a number?" Lorne asked hopefully.
"Oh!" She laughed uncomfortably. "I don't know. Maybe? I'm not that good." He could care less about her quality! He was dying to read her,
"I hope so! I'd love to see you up there!"
She was scrunched in between Angel and Gunn. Fred sat next to Gunn, then Wesley, and around the table, Cordelia and The Host. Cordelia had long ago gone silent; she chewed on her straw. She kept glancing up to catch Angel staring at her. She'd look away, not because it was a threatening look, but because it was a scared, pitiful look. She couldn't help but feel guilty. Somehow, in that persuasive manner that Lorne just happened to be gifted with, he talked the "date" into getting up on stage and doing a little number, and to Cordelia's great amusement, she sucked! Sugar Pie Honey Bunch had never sounded worse!
Paige looked silly. She worked up this completely-off beat, and she gripped the microphone tight enough to make her knuckles turn white. At first Cordelia didn't think she'd finish. Maybe it wouldn't take finding out about Angel's vamp status to send her running to the hills. Maybe just a bad case of stage fright, accompanied by a little heckling…
Cordelia shouted, "Don't quit your day job!"
"Don't do that!" Angel snapped. It was the first time he'd talked to her since they'd entered the bar.
Paige went on, shaking like a leaf. "Sugar pie honey bunch, you know that I love you, love you…I can't help myself…I love you and nobody else,"And for some reason, the audience loved her.
Any performance by a pretty girl, whether they could sing or not… No one booed. Everyone clapped. Everyone sang along and laughed and had a good time. Angel was smiling way too often. Even from where she sat, Cordelia could feel the pulse coming off the stage from Paige and transcending to Angel. She watched him…watched Paige…watched Angel again. Paige started to loosen up about half way through.
She started strutting around, swinging the microphone, voice wailing like that of a dying cat. Cordelia frowned.When it was all over, Paige got a standing ovation…something about pretty girls making a fool of themselves over the karaoke machine…they could do no wrong.
Cordelia found herself feeling lower and lower. She felt like Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding. Paige was definitely Cameron Diaz…or Denise Richards, because of her big, white teeth, long shimmery hair and dimple if Denise Richards had been in that movie. Cordelia feigned a smile; she could be Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts was an adored actress. A respected Academy Award winner. Julia Roberts had been closer to the guy, so Cordelia felt on the up.
But, wait! How did that movie end???Paige finished the set and came to edge of the stage where Angel was waiting. When had he gotten up??? They were both laughing, heartily. And looking around, Cordelia saw that everyone was. Gunn, Wes, Fred… strangers, everyone. Everyone was thrilled. Except for her.
Paige said something to Angel…something too low for anyone else to hear…that brought an even bigger smile to his face. Cordelia had never seen him smile more. He stepped towards her. She touched his shoulders. He slid his hands over her waist to lift her down from the stage. She wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him. He kissed her back.
Cordelia's chest hurt as she watched it all in slow motion. She watched Angel kiss Paige back, again and again—music blasting in the background, people laughing and talking and clapping still, the lights flashing red, blue, purple and yellow over them… In a kiss, Cordelia had lost Angel.
"Don't look so sad," A friendly voice lulled her from her daze. She felt the green hand on her shoulder and looked over into empathetic red eyes. Lorne was smiling at her; the only one in the entire room paying any attention to her. She tried to smile back, but her eyes had begun to sting, and tears welled.
"What do I do?" She questioned.
"Dry your eyes." He answered gently.
"And then what?"
"Nothing…you can't do anything." She stared into his ruby red peepers. Devastated. He passed her a napkin, then slowly got up. He patted her shoulder, and started towards the stage. He had a job to do, the show must go on…Cordy was on her own.
Amongst the roar of the Caritas patrons Cordelia felt lost. Lorne tapped the mic, thanked Paige for her "wonderful" performance, and then went on in introducing the next performer. "I'm going to the ladies room," Cordelia announced softly. She gathered her jacket, slipping it on quickly, and rose from her chair. Wes and Gunn hadn't even heard her. They continued talking and jiving and watching the stage. Fred turned, though, and stared up at her. "The ladies room." Cordelia repeated again, pointing to the back of the bar. Fred's eyes followed her gesture, and she nodded in understanding.
'Want company?' She mouthed.
'No.' Cordelia mouthed back, shaking her head regretfully. Fred nodded, and Cordelia walked away. Fred watched her. She was good at watching, and she'd watched from day one. They may not have known it, but she knew a lot more about her friends then they'd guess. A lot more. Fred thought about following Cordelia, but as Angel and Paige made their way back to the table and Paige started chatting away excitedly, Cordelia had disappeared. Fred kept a vigilant watch for her return, but after a few moments had passed, when Angel finally questioned her absence, Fred decided to save face.
"Cordelia felt sick. She went home. Don't worry. She's okay."***
Cordelia leaned against the wall in the alley and cried for a few minutes before wiping her face and taking out her cell phone to call a cab. She didn't know why she was crying. She didn't know why she was in the alley. She only knew that she was, and as Lorne had said, there was nothing that she could do about it.
She dialed 4-1-1 and waited for an operator. She got transferred to Yellow Cab, and gave the dispatcher the address. She put her phone away and took out her compact. Her eyes were red and her cheeks slightly wet, but overall, she looked pretty much okay. She was wearing waterproof mascara, so no raccoon eyes at the moment. Give her a few more hours though, she thought, a few good hours of good, hard bawling…raccoon eyes were inevitable. No mascara could resist that.
Wiping her face one more time, choking back the hurt, she put away her compact and raised her head high. She was Cordelia Chase after all. Nothing so silly as a kiss would make her fall to pieces. She ventured out to the sidewalk to wait in front of the club. A few impatient moments later, the cab found her and climbing in, Cordy gave the driver the directions to her apartment. The car pulled from the curb and merged with traffic. They caught the greenlight and Cordelia was on her way.
From the shadows near the side entrance, Angel watched in complete silence. He didn't move until the cab turned the corner, out of sight. Still, he stayed in the shadows, thinking pensively.
"There you are," A lazy voice said. He turned and regarded Paige, grinning profusely as she leaned against the door frame. She came forward and gave him with a kiss. "Your friends are waiting, what are you doing out here?"
"Getting some air," He took a deep breath.
"Is everything okay?" She smiled still, holding his hand between her warm palms.
"Sure." He lied.
"Well come back inside. You've got to sing for me."
"Uh, no,"
"Angel!" She flirted shamelessly. She pressed her cheek into his shoulder, batting her lashes and using all of her feminine charms. "Angel, come on!"
"Uh, no, Paige."
"Come on. We can sing together. It will be fun."
"I don't think so."
"Pllleeeaaasssseeee?"
He grinned then, slipping his arm around her and led her back to the door. "I tell you what, how about you sing again, and I watch. That was fun before, huh? I'm sure it will be fun again."
"You are a big wuss!" She teased, socking him lightly in the arm. "Cordelia was right! You're petrified, aren't you!"
"A little."
"A little?"
"Okay. A lot."
"Wow, Cordelia knows you too well."
"That she does."
"Do I have to worry about that?"
"What?"
"I said do I have to worry about that?"
Angel turned to regard his "date" carefully. "What do you mean?"
Her tone had said it all, yet Paige seemed to dance around the implication. She shrugged, swaying her hair across her shoulders. She was trying to play it cool. "You tell me. What does that mean to you?" Angel looked shell shocked.
"Are you're asking if me and Cordy—"
"I'm just asking if there's anything I should worry about."
"Yes." Angel answered truthfully. He took his hand back and slipping it into a pocket. "Yes. There's something you should worry about."Paige's eyes widened at this. That hadn't been the reaction she'd been expecting. "But it's not why you think." He clarified. "It's nothing like you're thinking."
She stared at him silently, and Angel waited for a sign to continue. He didn't know why, but he was suddenly ready to spill
everything. He didn't know exactly how, but he suddenly wanted it off of his chest. All consequences aside, he wanted to tell her the truth…if not for her sake, for his own. He was ready to tell her everything.
"Let's just forget about it." Paige shrugged suddenly, sinking back into her demure demeanor, and wrapping her fingers around his massive arm again. "We can talk about it later. Let's just go back and have fun."
"But Paige—"
"Shh." She held a polished finger up to his lips. "Whatever it is, it can wait." Then she smiled devilishly. "Who knows…maybe we could talk about it over breakfast…if things turn out, that is." He could feel the warmth of her breath, hear the rate of her heart speed up, see the flush on her cheeks at her somewhat bold suggestion. She took her finger away, and backed slowly into the club. She was a beautiful, sexy girl. And she wanted him. This, now, was clear.
Angel stared after her painfully.
Part 5Cordelia hadn't been asleep for more than twenty minutes when a harsh pounding roused her back awake. "Ah, whaaat now?" She whined, quickly throwing back the covers and jumping out of bed. Slipping on her terrycloth robe, she took a chance and glanced at the clock. With a cringe and a grumble, she marched out into the living room ready to swing the door open wide. She had a good idea of who it was barging in at the late hour; it wasn't just anyone who would come banging on her door at 3 am…
Lamps came to life one by one as she crossed the floor. If she weren't in such a state, she'd have at least nodded a thanks to her ghost. But as it was, Cordelia wasn't in the mood to deal with ANYTHING. And so Dennis went un-thanked. After a night like this, he'd expected it though, and his feelings weren't hurt…that much.
As she reached the door, her chest heaved in silent anticipation and she grasped the doorknob with a hard grip. This night definitely already fit into the crappiest of crap category, one of the top five worst nights of her entire existence… So what was one more run in with Angel going to do? What did she have to lose? She scowled, scratched her head, and then when another fierce knock made her jump, she decided to peer out the peephole. You never know, it could actually be a burglar…
"Cordelia," Angel's voice broke through the wood grain; low and deep, and commanding. She contemplated not even opening the door at all. Maybe if she didn't, he'd just go away— "I can hear your heartbeat. I know you're there. Open up."
"Ugh." She rolled her eyes but did as he asked—or not asked actually, but demanded. She didn't even have time to invite him in—not that it mattered, one invite was enough and he'd have forever and a day to come and go as he pleased— when he strode in past her, in a rush into her apartment; a veil of dew resting in drops across his leather jacket—it must be drizzling out—and a hard, steely toughness consuming his face.
Cordelia bit down on her lip."Explain something to me," He demanded fiercely, quickly turning on her as she took a moment to push the door closed. His close proximity surprised her when she faced him, and she flinched, falling back against the door with a squeal. Angel halted, then swore under his breath, and respectfully backed a few paces. He went silent, but continued to gaze at her though, unwavering and waiting…and he even started to pace a bit, with not much patience.
"W-what?" She asked flatly. She would've succeeded in sounding indifferent if her voice hadn't cracked, but as her luck would have it, it cracked, and Cordelia's deck was blown wide open. She couldn't hide her anxiety if her life depended on it! besides…really didn't matter what came out of her mouth, Angel could smell her fear.
He hadn't meant to scare her though. But he was so damn mad… "Tonight," He growled. Cordelia waited for further prompting, but guessed she wouldn't be getting it. So she looked away, shrugging in the manner she'd used too many times as a teen when her father had caught her sneaking in in the early morning hours, and had demanded to know where she'd been all night.
She mumbled in the same begrudging half-whisper, "I don't know." She'd meant it to sound incoherent.
"What do you mean you don't know?" He snapped. Guess it wasn't as incoherent as she'd hoped—
"I don't know, Angel." She repeated in a lost, little girl voice. Her eyes finally rose to meet his, and she'd really wished she hadn't because he was really angry, angrier than she'd seen him in a long, long time. And aside from the fact that he was doing the crazed-Angel-pacing dance, she could tell he was doing his best to keep his composure. He trembled with violence, at least in her eyes he did, and Cordelia found herself backing up as close to the door as she could get, even though she knew, or at least she hoped she knew, that he would never physically harm her.
Not as Angel anyway. Angelus was a whole other story—Cordelia's eyes went wide with sudden contemplation.
What if this were Angelus? What if he'd… What if Angel and Paige had… And then he'd… And then she'd… Oh, why in the hell had she opened that door! She gulped, hard; heart fluttering wildly like the wings of a rabid butterfly.
Angel watched her go completely still. Statuesque. And he suddenly realized she was terrified. His eyes narrowed and a low growl emitted from his throat. He hadn't meant to let it out, but he was frustrated. Cordelia winced, tensing, and then he did something that surprised her; he stopped his pacing, took an intimate step forward and peered into her eyes. He made her look into his, he made her look deep, and he proved that it was he, and not his deadly counterpart unsheathed on the world, as his hardened expression was replaced by softened confusion and pain.
With realization of what had just been racing through her head, something else arose in his face, something else very familiar…deep, painful guilt. "I'm sorry," He whispered. "Please don't be afraid. I didn't mean to scare you, barging in like this." Cordelia felt her body fighting to breathe and she suddenly remembered to exhale. It came out a sigh. A deep, relieved sigh. And slowly her muscles relaxed enough to allow her body to sag against the doorframe.
Angel looked away and Cordelia smiled grimly. He really hadn't meant to scare her, and Cordelia appreciated that. When they were a safe distance apart, Angel asked her again. "Just tell me why. Tell me something… Let me understand why you did what you did. Give me a clue, Cordy. Give me a chance to understand your reasoning behind this…insane, bizarre, selfish craziness…that you've been acting out." When he looked up at her again, he looked exasperated. "At least…at least say you're sorry, for making me so crazy!"
Actually, he looked like her were about to cry. Cordelia managed to unclench her fingers from their tight, little fists and she took a shaky step towards him. Her bare feet barely made a sound on the cold tiles, and as a chill shimmied up her spine, she really wished she'd remembered to put on her bunny slippers before going to the door. Maybe bunny slippers would have appeared endearing to the big, thoroughly upset vampire in her living room…maybe. Perhaps one look at them and he wouldn't be so angry anymore…maybe he'd be so consumed with how cute they looked that he wouldn't be pissed.YEAH RIGHT.
Glancing at his face, she knew nothing could save her now, especially not some stupid bunny slippers. It was explanation time:"Angel…I am sorry. I'm sorry I've been acting so weird about…this."
"And why have you been acting weird?"
"Because you've been acting so weird."
"ME?"
"Yes, you! You've been behaving completely bizarro over this dumb girl, Paige!"
"She's not dumb," He warned.
"She's not exactly smart,"
"Cordelia!"
"She's so…goody-goody! And sweet. And she just seems so…ditzy!"
"Cordelia! She's a normal girl!"
"It's not like she's all super intelligent, she's not exactly a rocket scientist or anything!"
"Cordelia, I don't know anybody who's a rocket scientist!"
"Well…Fred comes pretty close."
"CORDELIA!"
"ANGEL!!!"
"CORDELIA!!!"
"ANGEL!!!" He stared at her hard, his edge coming back in a dangerous might, nostrils flaring. Cordelia swallowed hard, but her nostrils were starting to flare too, and she suddenly remembered that Angel wasn't the only one with something to be angry about…
"Cordelia! Why the hell are you being sooo…so completely… UGH!" Angel threw his hands up, running one through his hair in frustration, angering it and causing it to be more disheveled then was normal for his style. It'd have looked cute, if she didn't feel so threatened right now. Cordelia pouted and crossed her arms.
"So what, exactly?"
"SO IMPOSSIBLE."
"Me, IMPOSSIBLE? For the last few weeks you've been playing with fire! And I've warned you! Tried talking to you! But you wouldn't even hear it!"
"You haven't talked to me about anything!"
"I SO have!"
"You have not! All you've done is act like a brat! Making nasty little comments, and throwing glares… And tonight. Tonight you were completely out of line!"
"ME? OUT OF LINE?"
"Yes!"
"NO! YOU WERE OUT OF LINE, MISTER! Hugging and kissing on that…that…GIRL!"
"She has a name, and her name is Paige!"
"I know what her stupid name is!"
"Then use it! And stop talking about her like she's not good enough for you. You don't even know her,"
"I don't want to know her,"
"Stop calling her names!"
"I never—!!!"
"JEZEBEL???" He ripped. "Remember? I heard that, Cordy. I can only imagine what you say when I'm not around..."
"You hear everything, don't you!" She snapped sarcastically.
"Yes. I hear EVERYTHING." He pointed at his ear.
Cordelia looked guilty.
"Oh."
"And I even asked you!" Angel went on. "I asked you to be nice to her! To give her a chance! You promised!"
"Well, that's before I knew how involved things were between the two of you!"
"And what's wrong with being involved!"
"ANGEL! Does DUH mean anything to you at all!" Cordelia glared at him like he was crazy. "DUH? Angel? DUH? Ring a bell??? I know I've said it enough times on this subject, Angel! I know you haven't already forgotten the meaning of DUH…"
"Cordy," Angel hissed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. "Just stop it! Really. Just stop!"
"You stop!" She dared ruefully. "You stop, Angel! You're the one that's doing something he shouldn't be doing! Angel, you have no business seeing this girl! No business dating! Have you honestly forgotten about the curse? I mean, GOD! Are you that blinded by her big boobs and perfect, apple-shaped ASS that you've forgotten about the curse! Tell me you haven't!"
"I'm not—I'm not blinded by her…her…" Angel's face went flush. "…ass."
"I'll ignore that you're not disputing the boob thing! SO THEN WHAT IS IT Angel? It SURE AS HELL CAN'T BE HER SPARKLING PERSONALITY!"
Angel huffed. "Maybe she's just a nice girl, Cordy!"
"Nice. Nice." She mimicked disgustedly. "Nice is one thing, Angel. But you find her ATTRACTIVE!"
"I have never treated you the way you treated me tonight. Never—what's wrong with attractive!"
"Maybe that's because I'm not you, and you're not me!"
"I'd never treat you like that, PERIOD."
"If I were cursed with a clause, a SEVERE clause like what you've got going, and I started doing things that might jeopardize my family, WE ARE FAMILY, AREN'T WE?"
"Of course we are!"
"Then you're telling me you wouldn't do a damn thing about it?" She peered at him skeptically. "You're telling me you'd stand back and say and do nothing! You'd let me risk it. Risk it all! On some stupid, temporary FLING! You're telling me you'd do that—"
"Maybe she's not a fling! Maybe she's more important than that!"
"Oh, yeah! Like what? Maybe you want to be her boyfriend? Maybe you want to have a relationship with her???"
"Maybe."
"That's laughable, Angel! Completely laughable!"
"WELL MAYBE I'M IN LOVE WITH HER! DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER THAT?"
"I'M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE—Wait! What do you mean?" Cordelia fell back a step, her eyes suddenly widening. "What do you mean, 'maybe you're in love with her'?" Angel didn't answer. He stood there, rigid, fuming, hard. "Angel?" She repeated fiercely. "Angel, what do you mean!" And then Cordelia started to tremble. With fury. Angel remained silent, his jaw taught, teeth grinding as she suddenly approached him.
"Tell me what you meant!" She rasped, eyes burning. Angel stared down into her, cold and mean, and didn't budge as she invaded his personal space, almost so that her nose touched his chin. They were mere inches apart, enough for him to taste her breath, and close enough to smell the tears ready to fall.
It was a stand off, and neither seemed ready to fall back. But after a moment, Angel finally did. He looked away, shamefully, and Cordelia felt herself falling apart inside.
"You...you love her?" She repeated. He seemed to hesitate, and she felt her insides turn against her as her heart, and guts, and earlier meal seemed to leap into her throat. Through what could only be described as sheer control, Cordelia did not throw up right there. Instead she quivered. "Angel…d-do you?"
"No." He said finally, turning back to stare at her. He yielded his gaze only slightly, looking more disappointed than anything. "But if I did," He went on. "Would it have even made a difference?"
An uncomfortable silence filled the air, and Cordelia's responses fell numb. Angel, whether he took her silence as an answer she couldn't be sure, at that point decided to leave.
She was dumbstruck as he walked passed her towards the door; her feet firmly planted where she stood, her mouth dry, tongue repressed. She could barely move her head to watch him go.
She wanted to shout, "NO, STAY! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" but her body wouldn't let her. She wanted to move, block his exit, throw herself at his feet, wrap her arms around his legs and hold him here if she had to and beg him not to go, explain everything, fix this before it went any further… But her mind kept her stalling where she was.
Finally, as he reached the door, he turned one last time to regard his silent Seer. "You hurt me, Cordelia. You embarrassed me. And you broke your promise. I…I don't know why. I can only imagine… But I want you to know…I want to say one thing. I would never, ever, have let you down the way you let me down tonight. I would never have intentionally done something like that to you…"Think about that, will you? Think about what that means. And when you're ready," He swallowed. "I'd like you to explain it to me. Really explain it. Tell me the truth. And then maybe we can move past this."
"But if you can't do that, then…well…I guess…" He never finished his sentence. Instead, he shook his head and slipped away, and Cordelia began to tremble. When she finally heard the door close, it was like a magic spell had been broken and she finally regained use of her limbs.
She winced, testing her voice and found it still available in her throat. With a cry, she crossed the tile quickly, and threw open the door. But the hallway was empty. Angel was already gone. She stared at the empty hallway, considered getting dressed and following him. Or not bothering, and just following him.Her fatigue won out.
She closed the door, leaning against it as she locked it tight and took a moment to compose herself. When she finally could move again, she headed slowly back to her bedroom. When the lights continued to glow, she took it as a sign that Dennis was hiding. She couldn't blame him, not in the least.
She stopped at each lamp to gently turn them off, throwing the room into absolute darkness. She made it into her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Flinging off her robe, and falling into bed, she prayed for sleep to come quickly.
She couldn't deal with lying awake all night and thinking about this. She couldn't, no, not at all. Eventually her prayers were answered because her eyes finally closed and she finally drifted off.
It was sometime around 4:30.