Go TeamC/A
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Title: The Summer Of ...
Author: Zanita
Posted:
Rating: N-17
Category: Angst, Romance, BtVS2
Content: C/A AU
Summary: What *really* happened that summer? What if Cordelia lied and didn't go to Tuscany and opted to stay home for the summer instead?
Spoilers: Background up to first season BtVS I guess
Disclaimer: Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: AA, GTC/A, NF, anyone else please ask
Notes: Watched this ep yesterday and the whole episode I kept thinking "Why is Angel acting like that? What is he hiding?" And Voila! My idea. If you like it I'll keep writing it. The writing style that came out of this prologue is very different than "Provisions" if it sucks tell me!
Thanks/Dedication: To Califi, Si Crazy, Lilyana_Vamp, Tipdip, C.C., Impress. Thank you so much for the encouragement!
Feedback: Please!
Prologue
He knew Buffy was back. She'd been in town a full night and day. She had not sought him out, just as he had not sought out her.
He knew she had left town full of fear and uncertainty and most likely spent the last three months in a morbid gloom. His guilt surfaced again, nagging at him. His summer months had been spent in pure abandoned bliss. What had started out as a single casual meeting at the bronze had turned into erotic filled nights and days flowing with laughter and joy.
Cordelia.
The thought of her made his loins stir and his heart fill with warmth. A dark haired woman-child with the beauty of a goddess.
Walking in the shadows of a clear moon filled night he stopped and closed his eyes. Bringing up the memory of a face full of innocence and eyes filled with laughter. A face that he'd watched night after night with looks of wonderment turning into pure ecstasy. A face with eyes that looked into him and saw his soul.
He never asked why she stayed with him. And she never asked if it would last. He experienced things with her that he'd had with no other woman. They connected in a way he'd never known with another being.
Opening his eyes, he continued his solitary trek. Closer and closer he came to his destination and with every step he wanted to turn back. To flee the meeting that he knew was inevitable. To change his course and head straight into the soft warm embrace of the one he now thought of as his and his alone.
He turned the corner and silently approached his destination. The house was quiet and dark. He could see her window from where he stood under the old tree that grew beside it. That tree, once a magic path that lead him to a fair haired girl and school girl kisses, was now a desolate ascension that would take him away from the woman with chestnut strands that laid across his chest night after night as he slipped into a contented slumber.
His emotions torn. His soul in anguish. He made his decision.
Part One
Three months ago:
Cordelia slammed her bedroom door in anger and listened to the satisfying boom the solid oak made. Picking up one of three of her suitcases, that had taken her a week to pack, she heaved it onto the bed. Unzipping it she started ripping the neatly folded clothes out and stomping over to her walk-in closet to re-hang them again and muttering to herself.
"Stupid, stupid parents! What sane teenager wants to go to Tuscany and look at musty old things? They promised me St. Croix. They promised! Aggghhh!"
Yanking a satin covered hanger off the rack she shoved the skimpy David Cardona dress on it and shoved it back on the bar. Going back over to the bed she grabbed a handful of lingerie and headed to her dresser. Wrenching the drawer open she shoved the expensive silk in to it and slammed it shut. Standing there in an utter fury she clenched and un-clenched her fists. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she repeated:
"I will not allow them to get to me, I will not allow them to get to me, I will not…"
She stopped her mantra as a thought struck her.
"Ha!"
Going back to her closet she grabbed the dress she had just hung up.
"This will do nicely. Mommy and Daddy dearest wouldn't dare miss their plane and if I just happen to not be here when they leave for the airport….well….what are they gonna do?"
Taking off the blouse and skirt she had been wearing she slipped the creation over her head. The light weight chiffon drifted over her skin making her feel like she was wearing almost nothing. Choosing a pair of high heeled strappy shoes she slid her feet into them and turned to look at herself in the full length mirror.
"Perfect!"
Grabbing her clutch and her keys, one last check that her makeup was okay and out her bedroom door she went. Since her parents rooms were on the other side of the house there was never a need to be sneaky. She just traipsed down the stairs and out of the house. Getting in her car she thought that she was sure to meet up with Aura or Harmony and she could stay with one of them until her parents plane took off.
"Stupid parents!"***
Angel paced back and forth in his living room. Sticking his hands in the pockets of his black slacks and then pulling them out again, dragging a hand through his hair. He'd stop, sit on the fire place, pick up the book he'd been trying to read and immediately set it down again starring off into space. Then he'd shake it off and start all over again. He'd been doing this for the last hour.
"Damn it!"
He stopped his pacing. Looking around the sparsely decorated room, the cold floors and gray walls he knew he couldn't stand it another minute.
"Why should I let her do this to me? I didn't do anything to her. She's probably off living it up with her old LA friends while I just sit here."
Thinking back on the conversation he and Buffy had yesterday, the day she left, he reminded himself that she was the one that decided she wanted to stay an extra month with her Father. And she was also the one that stood just in the doorway and gave him the flippant "See ya in three months, have a great summer!" As she waltzed out into the sunshine where she knew he couldn't follow.
"You know what? I think I *will* have a great summer!"
Going into his bedroom he changed into a clean. black, cotton dress shirt, grabbed his leather jacket off the chair and strode out the front door.***
The Bronze was jumpin', school was out and summer had come to Sunnydale. Cordelia pulled up to the building and parked her car. Checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror, gave her hair a pat down and climbed out. With a flick of her wrist she engaged the alarm and strutted in the front doors of the Bronze
Angel slipped in the back door but there was no need to be quiet about it. The music was blaring as bodies bumped and slithered against each other. Doing an age old dance Angel had seen a thousand times before.
Male pheromones calling to female ones. Adrenaline racing, energy surging, a sexual tension high. In today's day and age many would go home with partners and some wouldn't even make it that far. Grabbing and groping in dark corners or in the back ally. He'd stumbled on many a couple in mid copulation since coming to Sunnydale. But there were still some, a few mind you, that would go home to their own beds, alone and merely fantasize of the ones they had been with here tonight.
Standing on the edge of the throng of people, hidden by shadows, he watched. Wanting to join them but not knowing how. Still unsure of his place in this world of the living, he simply observed as he always had.
A small tingle hit his spine. Nothing much more than that. Just a sense of something he should take notice of near by. Scanning the area he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, no threat or danger. Still the feeling persisted. He adjusted his view, first left, then right, trying to see the front door. A large pillar was obstructing a small part of his field of vision in that area. Concentrating harder he waited, his patience paid off as a figure moved to the right, then stopped. He could make out long hair and a voluptuous body profile. He waited for her to step into a lighted area.***
Cordelia sauntered into the club. Head held high, a swing in her hips. She titled her head to the side taking inventory of the who's who in Sunnydale that was here tonight, ticking off her mental list and discarding most she saw, as they were beneath her and not worth her time. She searched the gathered groups to see if any of her so-called-friends were there.
She felt a small tugging sensation and she took a step to her left. She wasn't sure what it was, just a need to move a bit. She turned toward the dance floor, confused by the feeling, she scanned the people there. Again came the tug. So she took another step and stopped, which put her underneath a small hanging lamp.***
Angel watched as the woman turned and stepped in to a soft glow of light. Recognition crossed his face and he wondered why he'd felt her presence when she'd entered the building.
Part Two
Cordelia's eyes flicked this way and that, then landed with curiosity on the shadowy figure across the dance floor and found herself mesmerized by the intense gaze in which she found herself in. With the music pulsing around him, Angel moved around the dancing couples, his eyes never losing connection with hers. Approaching her he saw a small frown dip between her brows. She watched him move closer and closer until he was standing before her.
"Hello Angel."
"Hello Cordelia."
He stood, hands jammed into his pockets, suddenly unsure as to why he'd come over to her. She clasps her hands in front of her and fiddled with her keys.
"So, uh, where's Buffy tonight? Hangin' with the creepies?
"No, she uh, left. To visit her Dad. In LA. For the summer."
"Really? Isn't she supposed to be here protecting all us helpless, un-superhero-y humans? You know, by like, killing all the things that go bump in the night?"
"Yea. Well, it's been quite since she killed The Master. His minions either left town or went into hiding. It should be pretty quite for awhile."
"Ugh, don't remind me. That was so horrible. And creepy. And a whole lot of disturbing."
"Yeah."
"Yeah. So, you're what? Done with classes? Down time from work? Or just independently wealthy?"
Trying to understand what she meant, he realized that she didn't know he was a vampire. That she wass fishing around with her questions looking for clues to tell her more about who he wais, what he did.
"Uh, something like that."
"Well, which is it?"
"I guess a combination of all of them."
"Okay. I can take a hint. You don't wanna spill, that's okay with me………so are you like ashamed of what you do?"
"…."
"Fine, fine. Whatever. So. What are you doing here?"
"Good question."
"Wow. You are really good with the vague, aren't you?"
"Sorry. I meant that I really don't know. I thought this is where I wanted to be tonight but it turns out it really wasn't."
"Yea, I know what you mean. I was hoping there'd be at least a few of my friends but I'll I'm seeing is 'loser'."
"…."
"Oh. Not you! It's just everyone else that I wouldn't give the time of day to."
"Ah, thanks.."
"So. You wanna dance?"
"I don't dance."
"Pfft. Everybody dances! Come on, it's a slow song, you can't screw that up much."
Grabbing him by the arm she pulled him out onto the dance floor. Taking his hands she placed them on either sides of her hips and wrapped her arms around his neck. For a moment he was completely frozen. Other than Buffy, he'd not touched a woman in over a hundred years. And Buffy was no woman. Sweet and fragile. Innocent even in her calling. But Cordelia, feeling her body under his hands he realized, this was no mere girl. She casually pressed her hip into his, breaking through his thoughts.
They started moving slowly, awkwardly at first. And then she almost melted into him. Barely touching. And yet he could feel her all around him. Her scent invaded him, a hot, musky smell that reminded him of a tropical forest, clean with rain but with hidden, heavy undertones. He noticed her height as the top of her head brushed his cheek. He felt her fingers curl in his hair at the back of his neck and his hands moved up her waist and then back again in an unconscious caress.
She'd danced cheek to cheek, body to body with hundreds of guys. But never had she been so immersed in someone as she was right now. His body swayed with hers to a rhythm only they can feel. She shifted and her inner thigh brushed against his, causing a pleasant sensation to creep up her leg and settle in her belly. Titling her head up, she was caught in the dark eyes she saw there. Moved by the emotions swirling behind those iris's, her lips parted and she issued a small gasp.
He noticed her intake of breath as if in surprise and wondered what it is that she saw. His eyes travelled over her face, taking in the flawless skin, the high cheek bones, the full lips. One hand moved to the small of her back and then up her spine. He lowered his head and pulled her closer to him. He could feel her warm, sweet breath fan his face and watched as her eyelids slowly closed in expectation. His lips came down to claim hers.
Abruptly someone knocked into her from the side pushing her off balance. He tightened his hold on her so as not to let her fall. The intimate spell broken. Taking a step back, out of his embrace, she pretended to straighten her dress, trying to cover the emotions swirling through her body.
His body went ridged, hands clenched at his side. Berating himself in his head as to why he would even attempt what almost happened. Flustered but pulling herself under control she gave him a big fake smile.
"So, you hungry? I'm hungry. I'm thinkin' Italian. I'll drive."
Turning on her heel she headed toward the exit. Not knowing what else to do, he followed her out to the car.
Pulling away from the Bronze she covered her nervousness with non-stop chatter.
"You like Italian food right? I mean cause if you don't we can always go somewhere else. I'm not sure what else is open this late. Chinese maybe? No, it's after ten, they're closed. Um, I'm sure we can find something else if you want…"
"Italians fine."
"Oh, okay. Great! I think I'm in the mood for Chicken Piccata. God it's incredibly fattening but you gotta admit it's just so good! When the lemon and butter sauce hits your tongue, mmmm……"
"It does sound good."
It didn't take long to reach the restaurant. Pulling into the parking lot, Cordelia let out a groan.
"Oh damn."
"What is it?"
"See that middle aged couple in the window over there? The man in the gray suit and the woman in oh so drab brown?"
"Um, yeah."
"Well they're good friends of my parents. And if I go in there they'll see me and will be sure to call and tell my parents."
"Are you not supposed to be out this late?"
"Oh God no. It's not that. It's just, well, you see, my parents are leaving tomorrow. They're going to Tuscany for the summer."
"I don't understand. Why is their friends seeing you a problem?"
"Well because I'm suppose to be going with them. But I'm kinda not gonna be there in the morning when they leave for the airport."
"Why wouldn't you be?"
"Because I don't want to go. They promised me that we were going to Saint Croix and then tonight they just tell me that they've changed the plans and I have to go. But I don't want to. So I figured if they couldn't find me then they'd leave without me and I wouldn't have to be dragged through that boring ol' country for what would seem like an eternity in hell."
"Oh……well, why don't I go in and order to go and then we could take it back to my place……..if you want.."
"Sure. Yea. That would be…great!"
Reaching in her purse she went to give him some money. He stayed her hand with his and got out of the car. As she watched him walk to the door of the restaurant, she rose her brow and shook her head.
"Why Buffy would leave that much hunk alone for a whole summer is beyond me."
Angel walked into the restaurant, observing the dim lights and intimate settings. Rich smells of food wafted around the room. This was alien to him. Something he'd never experienced. Sure he'd eaten the 'patrons' at expensive dinning halls, but never the food. While growing up his family was never poor but they were never inclined to eat at posh restaurants either.
After ordering her food, he had a few moments alone, he wondered to himself why he had asked her to the mansion.
Considering the strange events over the past half hour he wasn't sure it was at all wise. The sensations he had felt were new. Nothing he'd experienced before. He knew what lust was. The raw, carnal sexual hunger that went hand in hand with feeding. He also knew simple sexual desire from his nightly visits to the tavern when he was human. But this? This was all that and more. At the moment he had no words to describe it. He just knew it was there and it was very real.
Part Three
Sitting in the car alone, Cordelia replayed the last half hour in her mind. The 'tug' she felt right before she saw Angel. The dance and the feelings from touching him brought out in her. She couldn't say she hadn't wanted the kiss they almost shared. She had, more than anything. She just couldn't understand why she wanted so badly. This was so unlike her. He was Buffy's boyfriend. And she was no Ho'. She walked a fine line with dating. Giving out just enough to keep them coming back while still keeping her virginity and pride intact was definitely a high wire act.
Angel came out of the building and got in the car. She pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street. As they drove he gave her directions to his apartment.
Taking the bag with her dinner in it he went up the steps to his place with Cordelia following behind him. Walking in the door he went straight to the kitchen with the bag and started getting a plate ready for her. Cordelia wander around the small space. Looking at the statue in the enclosed glass and running her fingers over it. That's how he found her. Gazing at the statue with an almost adoring look on her face.
"Do you like it?"
"Yes it's beautiful."
He handed her her plate of food and they walked over to the small living area and sat down.
"It's one of the few things I have left from when I was in France."
"You were in France?"
"Yea during the Revol…ah `Remainder` of my French studies…"
"You studied French culture? Hunh. Wow. You just don't seem the type…..Not that there's a type. And that you couldn't be one.. type, that is."
"It's okay. I know what you mean."
She smiled apologetically and dug into her food.
"Mmmm. God this is so good……hey didn't you get anything?"
"I ate before I left. I really wasn't hungry."
"Oh. Ok."
He watched her as she lifted a small carrot to her mouth. They way her lips envelope the fork. The sensuality that she has, performing such a small act. She looked up at him and caught him watching her with a definitely hungry look on his face.
"Angel, are you sure you're not hungry? You're watching me eat like you're starving or something."
Embarrassed that she'd caught him, he stood up and walked towards the kitchen.
"No, I'm really not. Sorry about that. Ah, I was just thinking I was thirsty, would you like something?"
"Oooo, yes please. What cha got?"
Angel opened his refrigerator and of course he found only his blood. Then rummaging in his cupboards he came across a bottle of wine. He leant around the corner of the door opening with an apologetic look on his face.
"Ah, it looks like all I have is water or a bottle of merlot…..sorry"
"Oh, that's ok, the merlot 's fine."
He popped back into the kitchen and got two glasses. Asking himself for the third time tonight what the hell he thinks he's doing. Walking back to the sitting area he handed her glass to her. And she smiled her thanks at him. The smile, a genuine one, stopped him in mid pass. Dazzling him. He shook it off and sat.
"Ah sorry."
She was very confused by his behavior. She didn't know him well enough to know if this was normal for him or not.
"It's okay…..um, so Buffy's at her Dad's for the whole summer huh?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to go visit her or anything, I mean that's a long time to stay away from your girlfriend in the beginning of a relationship. Don't cha think?"
"No. I don't think I'm going to go see her. I kind of got the impression when she left that we weren't much together any more….."
"Really."
"Yea."
"What is she? Blind?"
"Excuse me?"
"Or did you do something to piss her off?"
"…"
"I mean your too big a splash of salty goodness to be sayin hasta leuego to for no reason, if you know what I mean."
"No. I don't know what you mean."
"I mean you're like a major hottie! But also nice, and a little on the dark and dangerous side, which is always appealing, and shoulders, wow do you have shoulders! And I am making a total ass out myself right now so I'm just gonna shut up and eat."
She bowed her head into her plate and started shoveling food into her mouth. He could see that she was blushing. An appealing stain of red starting at her collar bone and reaching the tips of her ears. It was then he realized that she was just as attracted to him as he was to her. And just as unsure about it as well. Trying to be reassuring he reached over and took her plate, setting it down on the small table between them. She was'nt willing to look him in the eye so he lifted her chin with his hand, a small smile playing over his lips.
"Hey, it's ok. Thank you. It's…..very flattering that you noticed. Really. Please don't be embarrassed. Okay?"
Their eyes met and she could have swore her breathing completely stopped. Angel felt something move inside him. He moved his thumb up and ever so gently pressed it against her bottom lip. Applying another small amount of pressure he opened her mouth fully as he lowered his head bringing his mouth over hers.
Her lips were full and soft. His tongue swirled inside her mouth. It glided back and forth eliciting small moans from her throat that she wasn't even aware of. But Angel was. Skimming his tongue lightly along her lips he gently sucked on her bottom lip. Her mouth opened for him again and he delved inside. Losing himself in her taste. Bringing the kiss down, he again let the tip of his tongue trail across her parted lips then dip slightly into her mouth. Kissing her slowly, sweetly. He kept repeating this. A touch of his tongue, a press of his lips, each time more intense than the one before. Each time he kissed her she moaned and Angel took it that much deeper. Going on and on as if to stay like this, with her, forever.
Warmth pooled in her belly. Oblivious to everything but what he was doing to her mouth. Her breaths were coming in little gasps, becoming more aroused then she'd ever imagined she could be. She triesdincreasing the speed of the kiss but his actions demanded it was kept slow and deliberate. Making her body quiver in frustration.
In every way a man could, he wanted inside this woman. A need clawed at his gut, his erection straining against his pants. He trembled with the wanting of her and then his demon lurched inside, making him growl low and deep in his throat. Afraid of his overwhelming desire, he pulled away and stood up. Turning his back to her as the passionate hungering threatened to bring him into full game face.
Cordelia sat stunned. Completely unable to form a coherent thought other than he had taken away his skillful mouth and she felt bereft of it. Looking up at his back she whispered his name.
"Angel?"
"God, I'm sorry Cordelia. I'm so sorry."
"Why?"
"I should never have brought you here. Never let you believe I was something I'm not."
"What are you talking about?"
"I can't believe nobody told you. I thought for sure at least Xander would have warned you."
"Angel? I have no idea what you're talking about. Will you please look at me? What. Is. Wrong? What did you make me believe?"
Struggling with his shame. Everything in him telling him that if he tells her what he really is she'll run out screaming. That he'll lose, whatever it was that he was feeling and never be able to get it back. The demon inside him laughed at his discomfort. Taunted him, teased him. Told him he was what he was and he couldn't change it. She could be nothing to him but a tasty snack.
But there was something in this woman-child. Something that told him different. That she was different.
That just maybe….
Part Four
She saw him struggling with himself. Some internal battle. And felt a need to reach out and smooth his brow. To bring him comfort in any way. She waited while he collected his thoughts. Angel unable to sit, began pacing the small living area.
"I've only had to do this once before. And it's still wasn't under the same circumstances. So I most likely will really screw it up."
"Okay…..?"
He continued his pacing. Trying to find the least most shocking part of who he wais.
"Angel?"
"I know. Just….gimme a minute…"
"All right."
"You know……that there is pure evil in the world….vampires, demons….."
"Yeah. Just had a crash course in that subject…"
"But what you don't know is that there are also demons that *aren't* evil."
"Pfftt. Whatever.
"No. I'm serious Cordelia. There are creatures out there that go about their business everyday and never harm a soul. Some, even, try and help humans."
"You've got to be kidding? Demons? Help us? Why would they?"
"Just like there can be evil in a human, there can also be goodness in a demon."
"You *really* are serious about this…..Okay, let's say there are 'good' demons. What do they want? I mean from us? If they don't want to rip us limb from limb for fun or find us rather tasty with ketchup, then what?"
"They don't want anything. I mean, other than to live their lives in peace."
"Live their lives?……. Live their lives?! What kind of 'life' do they have?"
"They're not much different than humans. They work, find mates, have children….."
"Oh my God. This is really way more then I *ever* wanted to know….."
"It's a lot to take in…."
"Hoo boya it is!"
"…"
"Okay, so what does this all have to do with you?"
"Some time ago, I was in Romania…"
"Boy you get around, don't ya?"
"Yea, I did…..Well I was there and there was a band of Gypsies…."
"Okay, *now* you're telling fairy tales…."
"Cordelia, please?
"sorry"
"I did……..something, to one of the daughters……and because of it they put a curse on me….."
Cordelia opened her mouth to let fly another flippant comment, when she looked into his eyes. So much pain, so much suffering. She didn't understand. Why was this man, so young, so tortured? What is it that made her heart ache for him so?
"What was it?"
"They cursed me with a soul….."
"How could they…I mean, didn't you already have…I don't understand…."
It was physically painful for him to speak the next words. He felt his demon dance with glee at what he was about to admit. He knew the next thing he said would drive this beautiful creature out of his life forever.
"The night I was cursed, I *was* a demon without a soul…….."
Disbelief was the first emotion to pass through her. Then came astonishment. And she waited for the revulsion, the fear and panic that was sure to follow….but it never came. She sat, looking at this man, a man that had helped save the lives of herself, the slayer and her friends. A man who had touched her heart and lit her passion on fire with a kiss. A man who was really not even a man at all. And the last emotion to wash over her was compassion. Compassion for the grief and suffering that was now coming off him in waves.
She rose, and he knew she would walk out the door. He couldn't watch. He hung his head and let the shamefulness engulf him. But he never heard more than a few foot steps, never heard the door open or close. Her tender hand was laid on his head, her soft body, sat, pressed against his side. And her arm reached around him and pulled him to her, laying his head on her breast, his arms coming around her waist. And she held him, for a minute, an hour, a year, he did not know.
All he knew was…..she had stayed.
One arm wrapped around his shoulder, the other hand caressing his cheek, Cordelia cradled this half broken man and in the time he lay against her he slipped quietly into her heart.
Neither knew how much time had passed as they held each other in the stillness of the night. They did know that nothing would ever be the same for them again. Cordelia stood, urging Angel up with her arms and walked him to the bed. She took his coat from him and laid it on the chair, then quietly unbuttoned and removed his shirt. He was still for all of this, like a small child. When she gently pressed him to sit down on the bed his eyes rose and met hers.
"Don't." She said. "Tomorrow." She knelt before him and removed his shoes and socks, laying them neatly by the wall. And then turned and walked into the bathroom and softly shut the door. He took her offer of privacy and removed his pants. Pulling down the blankets and sheets he climbed into bed. Exhausted and disconcerted, unknowing what she was going to do.
He heard the bathroom door open and padded foot steps. The light was switched off and he saw her figure move toward the bed. Silhouetted against the faint moonlight he looked upon the beauty of this woman and his heart ached with it. Silently she slipped under the covers and into his arms. He relished the feeling of skin sliding against skin, her legs entwining in his. Laying her head on his chest, her hair cascading over his arm, she curled into him. Both of his arms encircling her, his cheek settling atop her head and slowly and contentedly they fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
Part Five
Angel came to his senses slowly, which was odd. Normally he came fully awake at once, body tensed, eyes snapping open. Today he felt the need to snuggle down in the covers. To just lay here in the warmth of the bed. Warm bed. Warm body. He flexed his hand and found that it was full with a warm soft breast. He slid his leg up and felt his knee brush soft curls. His erection twitched and realized it was nestled against more warm flesh.
Cordelia Chase.
The memories of last nights events rushed back to him. The Bronze, the sensing of her, the dance they shared, the kiss, the talk. A sliver of despair shot through him as he thought about what he had tried to tell her. He felt the familiar pooling of guilt in his gut, he'd made her accept what he really was. No. He hadn't made her accept it. She just….did.
Cordelia stirred. She felt a heavy weight laying over her side. She was holding a very masculine hand in her own and that hand was cupping her breast. Along with a very manly leg wedged inbetween her thighs.
Angel.
His deep, sleep filled voice murmured next to her ear.
"Good morning."
Turning toward him, she laid on her back, her hand never leaving his, his never leaving her skin. Her eyes blinked slowly as she took in his face, studying it, memorizing it. High cheek bones, square jaw, sculpted lips, deep set, intense, dark eyes. His hair was tousled, his jaw had stubble. And he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.
"Good morning to you too."
She was soft and supple, radiating heat. His body ached with a fire all it's own. A need to dissolve into her, become a part of her rose up in him. A wanting his body had never known, alive or un-dead.
Tracing his fingers on the underside of her breast, she closed her eyes and her lips parted in a breathy sigh. Angling his head, pressing a soft open mouth to hers, he gave her the barest of kisses. Her tongue darted out to touch his just as he was pulling away. That small gesture caused him to tremble and languidly plunge into her mouth.
Cordelia's hands crept up to the back of his head, delving into his hair, pressing him closer. His thumb scraped across the hardened peak of her breast, her back arching in response to his touch. He broke the kiss and nibbled at the side of her mouth, down her jaw line and across her neck. His mouth latched on to a spot just behind her earlobe, alternating between sucking and running his blunt teeth over the area, bringing her to the point of panting. Leaving a wet trail, his tongue traveled the column of her throat to her collar bone and down to her right breast, laving the already hardened nipple. Her hands, still tangled in his hair, dragged him into her. He drew her breast deep into his wet mouth and she could feel the pull of it in her loins making her hips lift in response.
He placed his open hand around the curve of her ribs and with the slightest of pressure he traveled the flat plane of her stomach. His fingers reached the soft curls that rested between her thighs. He delved in and with two fingers parted her folds and exposed the distended nub that throbbed there. Placing a finger on each side he squeezed and simultaneously pulled back. Exerting more pressure his fingers slide back down and up again. Groaning deep in her throat, she tossed her head from side to side, fisting her hands in the sheets. As his hand moved lower again, one finger found her hot, slick opening and delved inside. Her passage was so tight. Her walls clenched down making it tighter as he began a rhythm of moving in and out of her.
The small sounds coming from her mouth combined with the scent of her arousal threatened the release of his demon visage. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his human face. Raw need ravaged his gut, he had to stop before the mind numbing hunger overtook him completely.
He suddenly rolled his body away from her. Making her feel bereft of its loss. He lay on his back, sheets pooled around his waist, eyes squeezed shut. He tensed his body and clutched his hands into fists physically forcing the monster to retreat.
Cordelia watched him with wide eyes. Seeing his whole body break out in a sweat, it was obvious to her that he was in pain. Her soul cried out to him, wanting to take that pain inside herself. Moments passed and slowly his body began to relax, his face smoothed out but his fists were still clenched at his side.
"Angel?"
He heard her speak his name but could not answer. Another wash of shame poured over him. His mind raced, needing to find some suitable lie to tell her but coming up with none. He sat up, putting his elbows on his knees he dropped his head into his hands. Once again he felt her reach out to comfort him, her gentle touch moving soothingly up and down his back. It was too much, her compassion. He shut his eyes and a tear slid slowly down his cheek.
"Angel. Please, look at me…"
The sweetness of her voice, full of caring, sunk into his soul. Touching something in him that he knew he could never have and did not deserve. In a flash he was filled with a rage, knowing what he must deny himself! He leapt out of the bed, dragging the sheet half way with him. Trying to cover herself she pulls her knees up to hide her nakedness, while he turns and stands before her.
"Did you know what you were sleeping next to Cordelia!?! Hunh!?! Did you!?! Well let me tell you! You were letting a murderer, a rapist, a twisted thing with no conscience, a demon! put his hands and mouth on you! Did you enjoy it!?! Because I did! You have no idea the things I want to do to that ripe, lush body of yours! Immoral, wicked things! Things that would make you cry out in pain and pleasure, never knowing which! What about my 'true' face!?! You want to see what I really am!?!"
In one stride he had her, grabbing her by the shoulders he lifted her up, her knees barely touching the bed. He let a menacing growl escape his mouth as he let his demon half take over. Squeezing her forearms even tighter, he shaked her so hard her head snapped back.
"Is this what you want touching you!?! Is it!?!"
Amber eyes glow and white fangs glisten, waiting for her to display her disgust. Slowly she raised her head, her eyes blazing with a fury of her own.
"Don't."
Shock loosens his grip on her and she wrenched her arms out of his hold. In his maddened state he had failed to realize that he could not sense any fear coming from her. Her angry stare pierced him as she climbed off the bed. He stumbled back from the raging beauty standing before him. She took a step closer.
"How dare you."
And another step.
"Did you think you could just bully me into leaving? If you didn't want me here, you just needed to ask me to leave. If you're doing this for some perverse pleasure, than guess what? I'm not gonna play your little game."
Another step closer and she was face to face with him. Bodies only a breath away, she stared him down.
"Your head is so fucked up, you don't even know what you are. Whatever your deal is, I will not be treated like a piece of dirt to be ground under your foot. You got that?"
Stunned beyond belief, his face morphed back to it's human form. They stood there, toe to toe in the dusky light filtering through the curtains.
Neither knowing what the other's next move would be.
Part Six
Cordelia stood with fists clenched at her side, mouth shut tight in anger, eyes blazing with temper. She watched as the demonic face dissolved and Angel's human face appeared. Eyes wide, jaw slack he simply stared at her. Cordelia fought the urge to pummel him with her fists as her indignation swelled in her again mixed with the passion he had just so recently stirred in her. That he had dared to shame her, make her feel dirty for sharing her body with him was beyond cruel. She didn't know why he'd done it but she was sure as hell going to find out.
"What the hell is your brain damage? One minute you're all over me and the next you go all psycho. I want a god- damned explanation and I want it now. I don't care if you are half demon or whatever, it doesn't give you the right to try and make me feel like shit."
"Vampire."
"What?"
"I'm a vampire."
"Yea, I guessed that, what with the bumpy head and pointy teeth."
"I-I'm sorry." He said, bowing his head in contrition.
"Oh! No way are you gettin off with that! I want to know what the *hell* just happened."
Folding her arms over her chest she realized she was standing there completely naked and so was he. Her eyes wandered from the crown of Angel's bowed head, down the front of his very expansive chest. Unable to stop herself she continued down his abdomen and stopping at his very large…
She whirled around and grabbed the rumpled sheet from the floor. Wrapping it around her she then grabbed the blanket and tossed it at him.
His head came up as the blanket hit him in the chest.
The corner of her mouth twitched.
"This might be a little easier if all our bits and pieces aren't hanging out."
She returned to the bed, bunching the bottom of the sheet so she could sit with her legs crossed. As soon as she'd situated she looked at Angel again. He was still standing there staring at her with his mouth hanging slightly open.
"What? I told you I wanted an explanation and I expect to get one. Now get your un-dead ass over here and spill it."
"My un-dead….?"
"Just because you're not getting any older doesn't mean I'm not. Now sit."
The commanding tone, which he hadn't heard directed at him since he'd been alive, spurned his movements. Wrapping the blanket around his waist he trudged over and sat at the bottom of the bed.
"Okay, start at the beginning."
"The beginning?"
"Yeah, I wanna know how you got…..like this." She said flipping both her hands at him.
"Like this?"
"Yes. And are you going to echo everything I say?"
"sorry"
"Just tell the story."
And he did. He told her of a happy child hood with loving family and friends. Told her of a Father/Son relationship that had turned bitter and cruel. He told her of a defiant young man, full of bravado and selfishness. And he told her of the night he died.
Completely immersed in the telling of it, Angel sat completely still as the memories came to him one by one and he formed them into words. He wove a story for her so rich with people, emotions, colors, sounds, that Cordelia sat enraptured with it.
The sun dipped low and turned the California sky a burnt orange and crimson. As dusk fell, the room started to darken. Angel's last words of crawling his way out from his grave trailed off into silence.
He had watched her face as he told the story of his life. Watched the myriad emotions wash over her. Her look gentle in his remembrance of his Mother and Sister. Her eyes twinkling as he spoke of the mischief he'd gotten into as a boy. The sadness as the rift formed and grew between him and his Father. Her outright laughter at his antics in the taverns. And the sweet, sweet sorrow that filled her as he recounted his death. And he watched as her eyes filled and one after the other of her tears fell down her cheeks. Unheeded, unchecked, she wept for him, as none other had.
Going to her he pulled her onto his shoulder and lay down with her. Soothing her as she had him. Ever so gently she reached up and lay her hand on his chest, covering his un-beating heart.
"how long has it been…..since you felt your heart beat…."
"245 years"
"so long ago.
"yes"
"and your soul….."
"100"
He thought back on the loneliness, the self imposed isolation. The excruciating journey that had brought him to this day, here, with her.
"where were you all this time"
"hiding. from myself, from the world"
"what made you stop"
"a fulfillment of a promise"
"who's"
"mine"
"why"
"a mission"
They lay quietly. And he wondered how to tell her about the prophesy. A prophesy about him and a slayer and the destruction of the world. An edict stating that he must stand by her side and give her strength until she could stand on her own.
For if he does not, in her final battle, she will lose and humanity will dieTBC...
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